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The Overwhelmed Brain

The Overwhelmed Brain

Author: Paul Colaianni

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Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.

This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.

Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.

If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
523 Episodes
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Experiences of loss, such as a breakup and losing your job can have a profound emotional impact on you. In fact, it can feel devastating. Afterward, a childlike confusion can follow. Will the pain, sadness, or confusion ever end? Is there a path forward? If you can get out of the rut, yes there is. But it takes a perceptual shift you may not have while you're down and out.
Going for goals can be, well, disappointing. Trying to get something done might give you feelings of failure when you don't get it done. Are you a goal setter or do you wing it? I hate goal-setting myself. I'll share some of my thoughts on this to help you avoid disappointment after disappointment.
What drives the important decisions in your life, fear or desire? In this episode I talk about a person's fear of visiting his father because of family that doesn't want him there. I also talk about how to start trusting again after someone betrays you... is there a path to wholeness after such an event?
There's a fine line between real suffering versus just getting stuck in a cycle of feeling sorry for yourself. The chronic complainer's suffering is real, but is it self-inflicted? Do they really want to change? And do some people benefit from expressing their pain and suffering?  There's no victim-blaming here. I'm just exploring a subject many of us might run into.
Trying to encourage a friend in a relationship to see the truth about their toxic partner can come with its own set of challenges, especially when the friend doesn't want to hear it and the toxic person wants to shut you down.
What happens when you fall for someone who might still have feelings for the person they were with? Is it a relationship that can survive? Or will the fear of them returning to the person they cared about before you be too much for you to keep it going?
When someone constantly puts you down, it’s not just hurtful; it’s destructive. I’ll share some personal strategies that could help you navigate these rough waters, aiming to keep your self-esteem intact.
A "germaphobe" shares their challenge at a work function with food being the catalyst for an embarrassing moment that ended up in tears. When you have behaviors and nuances that others might judge you for, do you hide them from the world? Should you? That's a great topic to talk about.
Why is it so hard to strike a balance between our own happiness and the happiness of those we care about? In today’s episode, I tackle the challenges of relational conflict and the importance of acknowledging when we’re not okay. We face tough moments in life. And it takes courage to assert our dignity. Sometimes, standing up for yourself is the most respectful thing you can do—for you and your loved ones. Let's explore the fine line between pleasing others and recognizing that you might be inadvertently contributing to your own unhappiness. Sometimes that means facing what you fear head on.
Is there light at the end of the tunnel of a troubled relationship? Past difficult relationships can certainly leave you with sensitivities to current and future ones, so it's important to make sure you align with what's most important to you and follow that path. If you don't, you could end up sticking around for something that may never, ever change - and you'll wonder if you will regret your decision when all is said and done.   In this episode, I address one woman's question about how her partner put his hands on her in anger and she's not sure if she is wasting her time sticking around or if she should hold on to hope even though she can no longer trust the person she's with.
Why is it so hard to strike a balance between supporting someone's goals and managing our own reactions? Sometimes, we have to traverse a tightrope walk of love and support without the comfort of a safety net. When you want to love someone but they make it hard because of a habit or behavior they're doing, you might have no choice but to make a hard choice for yourself.
Should you concede to another person's flaws to maintain peace?  We all seek approval at times, but in some relationships, this quest can take on a different hue, especially when one’s own insecurities are creating difficult and sometimes toxic conversations.   Getting through some conversations without one or both people getting upset might take some clever communicating. That's what I'm talking about today.
What is the consequence of withholding a big secret from the person you are supposed to have an honest, transparent relationship with? Secrets can lead to lies that lead to people feeling betrayed, causing pain when all of it could have probably been avoided in the first place.
Enforcing boundaries with family is hard enough, but what if they want to enforce them with you? What if they want to close the door to your relationship, even though you didn't do anything wrong?  In this episode, I read a message from a woman whose father decided his new wife and family were more important than his existing one. Very, very tough subject.
Why do we sometimes struggle to make ourselves understood? You know that moment when you’re explaining something you’re sure you know inside and out, but the person you’re talking to just isn’t getting it? It’s not about the complexity of the topic, it's about understanding the unique ways we all process information. Our brains are all wired in their own way, which means what’s clear to you might be a jigsaw puzzle to someone else. Learning to communicate without sparking a battle shouldn't be a battle in itself.
Have you ever had a tiny squeak in a door in your home that irritated you every time you used it? What happens after you oil the hinge and the squeak goes away? To some, it can feel like a life-changing moment! That and other quality-of-life improvements can actually create happiness and make the day to day that much better.
Romantic relationships bring their share of challenges. In this episode, I Why is it that even with the best intentions, relationships can feel like navigating a minefield? You might have experienced the tension that comes with tough partners, the kind that test your patience and resilience. Today I'll be tackling four messages from four different people about their relationship challenges. Packed episode!
Your friends and family really want the best for you. But what are they going to say when they see you make a decision they believe is just crazy? I explore that very topic in this episode. A woman writes to me and tells me she's taking a break from her husband after telling her friends and family how awful he was. She has no idea to face them and tell them the news.
Holding on to guilt

Holding on to guilt

2023-12-0357:53

Do you feel bad for what you did? Do you feel guilty? How long ago was it? Is feeling guilt a necessary component of healing? In this episode, someone feels guilty for moving on without their friends from the past and wants to know how to stop. Their life has improved and they've never felt better. But that guilt...
The past shapes who we are today. Sometimes, that past is also what haunts us today. And sometimes, it even torments others even when we don't mean to. Digging into ourselves can be the hardest step toward mental and emotional strength, but it is almost always makes us stronger - and maybe even happier.
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Comments (178)

Mary

I'm so grateful for your marvelous episodes. The only thing that I can say to improve it is this: please change the music that plays during the show. It makes strong bad feelings like nervousness, anxiety, and fear. This podcast is a spot to relax, get rid of wrong beliefs, and gain more knowledge. These things wouldn't happen when you feel bad and uncomfortable. Thanks a bunch for reading my comment and for your perfect content.🌿

Feb 5th
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Mary

I'm so happy to reach out to your channel by searching the "psychology" term on the Castbox app. I've listened to 3 episodes of your channel yet and I can say they're terrific! Even though I'm not a native English listener I can understand 95% of your words. Your speaking style is fantastic enough to make me stay tuned during the whole episode. Thanks a bunch for your effort to make this channel. keep going and generate more useful podcasts. Be always safe.🌿 I wish you the best.🌱

Nov 2nd
Reply (1)

Raine

Excellent advice. I am in the "thick of it", and you've certainly echoed many of my thoughts and sentiments. I just discovered your site last night while reading about deep loss. Teen daughter died a few years ago, unexpectedly, and my brain has certainly been overwhelmed ever since. Your podcast is already a breath of fresh air and a beacon of light for finally working on rediscovering me apart from the toxic F&F who've been unable to support me these past few years since my child loss. I have a lot of people I'm no longer "trying" with, and just- This episode could have specifically been for me. 100% Thank you for your writing, sharing, and this podcast. You've reminded me of my worth.

Aug 30th
Reply (1)

Sophie G.

This episode felt like a friendly pat on the back 'cause in order to move, my husband and I have to literally give up all of our stuff, including books that I had kept from my childhood. A friend told me that it would be a pity to loose them and thx to your show, I answered, my head held high, that it would be a pity to loose my chance of being a better person. She thought I was nuts but I feel the turtle inside me has turned into a bird. So thanks for all the efforts you're putting into this show.

Jan 13th
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Joe White

There is no defending a cheater no matter what. You can't blame the person you cheated on. Why is this hard to understand for some people???

Dec 6th
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Sophie G.

Hey much better pronunciation 😁 btw, since you get listeners all over the world, (I'm making sure about it in Iran😉) you can check forvo.com whenever you're in doubt. Sorry, the mom side of me is back🤣

Nov 11th
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Venice Rowe

no. everyone is on a journey and they have to be the best version of themselves.

Aug 1st
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Sophie G.

The sense of ever growing and improvement is established when the host genuinely has the same spirit. Immensely greatful for keeping life fresh all over.🙏🙏🙏

May 19th
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luhkeebae

Excellent episode Paul! I love the idea you put forth regarding seeing your future self at the grocery store and being overcome with joy--you knew life was going to be alright at that point. It runs parallel to the concept, 'change your thoughts, change your life,' in that all one must do is believe and heavy burdens can be genuinely lifted from your shoulders. If you can believe it and perceive it, then it truly becomes your reality. Perception is reality and that truly matters if you want to change your outlook on life. I can see how someone might try to say the concept is too cheesy and superficial, but it's really not. If internalized deeply, you can change your life for the good by understanding and utilizing this. Thanks Paul! 💯 💛JamieTheOverwhelmedBrain

May 14th
Reply (1)

Sophie G.

What I absolutely love about this show is that Paul doesn't deceive his listeners claiming he has the ultimate solution and leaves the decisions to those who should make them for their own improvement. That I believe is the meaning of Liberty.

Apr 4th
Reply (1)

Stacey Willard

very timely podcast! Thanks again!

Jan 30th
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Sophie G.

Yet more seriously, what proof is needed to say that this show and your helping hand is nothing short of wonder since you have avid listeners from literally the other side of the planet?

Jan 13th
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Sophie G.

psst, you ARE a superstar 😁

Jan 13th
Reply (2)

Kati Florida

I feel like fears are much different when we have children. Our thoughts as parents are mostly based around our fears For our kids. What will happen to them if something happens to me?

Jan 12th
Reply (2)

luhkeebae

What an excellent & thoughtful episode, Paul! 💯 I am so thankful for your podcast--I cannot thank you enough! I find myself at a loss of words when I try to articulate the profound impact your podcast has had on my life. You are appreciated, Paul! 💛

Jan 7th
Reply (2)

Stu Cook

Great episode and that closing thought was totally relevant to me! 👍

Dec 23rd
Reply (1)

Stu Cook

Another incredibly helpful episode today. Practical and insightful as always. 👍

Dec 16th
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Stu Cook

A really, REALLY useful episode for me today! 👍

Dec 2nd
Reply (1)

Irna Spigariol

I love the podcast apart from the introduction which reminds me of a tele marketing advertisement.

Nov 30th
Reply (1)

Irna Spigariol

I understand letting go and it's given me a lot of peace

Nov 30th
Reply (1)
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