U Up?
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U Up?

Author: Betches Media

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U Up? is the definitive modern dating podcast presented by Betches co-founder Jordana Abraham and comedian Jared Freid, where they discuss their take on the ebbs and flows of the crazy dating world we live in. From interpreting dating app interactions and weird sexual encounters, to defining the relationship and everything in between - they’re here to make sure you don’t die alone. For more fun dating commentary, polls, and bonus content, follow @u.up.podcast on Instagram. Become a friend (with benefits) of the podcast and subscribe to receive early release and ad-free versions of all our new episodes, plus bonus subscriber-only episodes. To sign up and become a friend (with benefits) today head to: subscribe.betches.com

553 Episodes
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Mercury is in retrograde, J&J are out of studio, and existential thoughts are filling the distance between them today. Still reeling from the earthquake and solar eclipse, Jared and Jordana are getting deep into fears, oblivion, and mental health. Then, they dive into an email that doubles as a "Petty or Prudent?" submission. Our listener was dumped by her fiancé after footing most of the bills in preparation of their wedding, but she still has his grandmother's engagement ring. Should she give it back, or is it only fair that she sells it to pay off the debt incurred? She gets into the details of what's transpired since he called the wedding off to let J&J decide where to go from here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Lovers of long intros, buckle up! J&J are jumping in virtually today, so they do a little catch-up from Aspen and Long Island before diving into the episode. Then, our first email is questioning a man's alleged heartbreak. Our listener's friend broke up with a guy, but she's not sure how to take his reaction. Was he really just romantic, or was his reaction the subtle sign of a player? The Awkward Encounter is the accidental sext situation without the ick. The next email comes from a confused listener after her ex reached out wanting to be "all in" only to change his mind 3 days later. J&J discuss WTF happened and how you can avoid situations like this, then they end the episode with a round of "Red Flag or Deal Breaker?" about an odd joke, a last-minute change of plans, and privacy screens.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Weddings are on our minds today! After a few listeners sent invitations to their upcoming “I do’s,” J&J thought about the ideal wedding experience if they could attend one. Then, Jordana needs context on “the chair” text exchange from Jared’s Instagram Story coverage of his brother’s wedding. The “Icky or Picky?” is about having sex with someone who shares the same name as a family member. Then, we hear from a listener whose boyfriend’s mom disapproves so much that she emailed a list of her deal breakers. Should his mom’s behavior be a reason to see herself out of this relationship, or can they work through it? J&J discuss the balancing act between a parent and a partner when everyone isn’t aligned. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Before we dive into another peak dating season, it’s time to ask yourself what you want and why you need it. In today’s episode, we hear from a few listeners going through frustration and anxiety, but first, you’ll never guess what Jordana has to do. Then, J&J hear from a 32-year-old listener who is convinced that at this point, she and other women are doomed in today’s dating society. Jared levels with her, but before we let her take everyone down too, our hosts discuss the importance of what you want your story to be. The Awkward Encounter is a confusing situation phoned into our hotline. Aligned with second-guessing from the previous two, our next emailer is dating someone, but she’s not sure she made the right call backing out of a date if it would mean meeting some of his family members. Does that mean they were taking the next step, or is she making a movie night more than he meant it to be? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about a third-wheeling puppy, revealing a potential deal breaker before the date, and lifestyle changes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Can a couple be successful in a professional and personal relationship? We’re finding out with this Sunday Special’s guests Nick and Elyse Oleksak, known for bringing their business Bantam Bagels to Shark Tank and selling for millions. The episode starts with learning how our guests came to know Jared, then J&J delve into their success and how the inner workings of their business played a role in their relationship. How do they turn off work mode and incorporate date nights? Has business been beneficial to their marriage dynamics? And what the f*ck happens if they were to split? Nick and Elyse open up about the personal elements behind the personas that made a life-changing deal. For more about our guests, read “A Shark Ate My Bagel,” by Elyse Oleksak (@elyseoleksakofficial), available here: https://amzn.to/3QaN6PR Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Spring is here, but while we’re waiting for the weather to catch up, we’re discussing early dating to get you back out there. An email from last week about accidental sexts reenters the chat when our first email asks about strange messages from men on dating apps. Are there really that many creeps out there, or is she doing something to attract them? The Awkward Encounter is more of a reassurance ask about where a situation left off. The next email comes from a man who met a woman IRL. He’s not attracted to her now, but she seems cool and he saw an old pic of her, so would it be wrong to date her with a secret mission of turning her into his physical type? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about first date convenience, refollowing an ex on IG, and body counts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Spring cleaning time is here, so we’re heading into April ready to clean out, refresh, and reinvigorate our mindsets with the help of one of our listeners! Jeannette Cieszykowski, Feng Shui consultant and owner of Elemental Clarity, reached out to Jared after hearing a Benefits episode about how his apartment was holding back his dating life. This Sunday Special, she joins J&J to talk about feng shui, the energies we hold in our homes, and how simple changes could help us succeed in our dating intentions. Learn more about Jeannette's work at elementalclarity.com or follow her on Instagram @elementalclarity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It’s the Wednesday before the big weekend – Jordana’s birthday getaway and Jared’s time to shine as his brother’s best man. Before diving into the episode, they tease what they’re anticipating ahead of their travel days, then spill into Jared’s TikTok encounter and the big debate going on with Oversharing. The first email comes from a divorced listener feeling insecure about blame her ex-husband placed on her when it came to words of affirmation. Now that she’s in a new relationship, she wants to do better, but how do men like to be complimented in the first place? The Awkward Encounter validates a recent “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about a surprise strand of hair. Next, the “Are We Dating?” submission may be a case of overthinking a man’s removal of Bumble. The episode ends in a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” featuring texts about a strange favor, women with successful careers, and recovering from sending a sext to the wrong person. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dreams are coming true today– Jordana’s #1 guest, mental health icon, and host of “Where Should We Begin?,” Esther Perel is making this a standout Sunday Special. We get started with the existence of situationships, spill into her findings about eroticism and sustaining relationships, plus the universe affected when an affair occurs. The episode ends with a listener's email about a devolving sexual connection with her boyfriend, leading to her finding something unsettling from his past relationship. Should she confront him with what she found? J&J ask how Esther would advise, and you may be surprised to hear her answer. Find Esther Perel on Instagram @estherperelofficial or listen to her podcast, Where Should We Begin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Spring is in the air, and we’re ready to welcome all the fun that comes with more sun and warmer weather. Before diving into emails, J&J both have exciting plans to come, plus they receive another listener’s wedding invitation! Next, they hear from a male listener who just got stood up on a second date but met someone new while he was waiting. His original date ended up reaching out, so does he owe her another shot or would it be OK to call the girl he ended up meeting instead? The Awkward Encounter is why you never go back for seconds on Hinge if it didn’t work out the first time. Then, the “Are We Dating?” submission comes from a divorcee exploring the dating world. Her email stumps Jared because it’s a bit of a role reversal from what we usually hear, so J&J need your help landing a decision. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about seating choices, smelly genitals, and a potentially common risk when dating a teacher. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A Message To Cheaters

A Message To Cheaters

2024-03-1743:12

If you’ve cheated or been cheated on, this Sunday Special is for you. Before diving in, Jared has some pre-wedding thoughts as we get closer to his brother’s big day. Then, J&J play a round of “Petty or Prudent?” about removing social media posts with your ex. Is that an unspoken rule of breakups, or is it OK to let posts of your past stay up? Next, we hear from a listener who’s just cheated and come back to the wreckage his ex left at home after she found out. He asks Jared and Jordana how he can apologize and what next steps he should take from here, but they think he’s missing something if he truly wants to change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Nature is healing this week! Jordana is tan and refreshed from her trip to St. Kitts, JetBlue made amends, and Jared brought gifts for himself! Next, a new listener intrigued by an AITA about lying to have sex with someone wants J&J’s take on consent and morality. The Awkward Encounter leads to impromptu dramatic performances. Then, J&J answer a listener email in Better With Age segment sponsored by Lee. Our 29-year-old listener has been hit hard by her breakup and, despite her ex being the issue, can’t see herself finding love again. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about TikTok pranks, free drinks, and chin hairs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We’re getting to the bottom of an on-again, off-again relationship in this Sunday Special! One of our listeners, Natalie, knows she’s dating a man she’s been seeing since September, but he keeps backpedaling on the seriousness of commitment. They’re in their 40s, she knows what she wants, and he claims to care for her, so what is the hold-up? When she listens to our podcast, some of Jared’s answers resonate with the way she perceives this man to be, so she wants answers from Jared and a reality check from Jordana. Is he just not that into her, or does he just need some more time before he gets tired of playing games? J&J give her some perspective to see a future for herself on the other side of this relationship, and help Natalie draft a text to follow up on their most recent hangout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
J&J have a lot to discuss this week! Jordana is finally about to get her vacation fill, but it’s going to take a JetBlue flight to get to her destination. Then, Jared retells the story that his followers (and Jordana) were convinced was a meetcute, and explains why it wasn’t a romcom setup in his mind. Plus, after meeting Rob at his Boston show, Jared gives an update on our SOS caller. Next, he and Jordana are asked about the rules around your parents’ involvement in your dating life. Should you wait for labels or a certain time to let them know you’re seeing someone new? The Awkward Encounter proves that some men never change. Then, we receive an “Are We Dating?” submission that ends with J&J drafting a text for our listener. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about dating types, app omissions, and a pet portrait. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This Sunday Special is a birthday gift to Jared! Joey Grazadei, the Bachelor and the internet’s newest boyfriend, is in the studio and ready to face Jordana’s questioning. We get asked endlessly about the two types of men, so we’re putting Jared and Joey to the test. Is a single man ready to get married pretty similar to a single man seeing how it goes, or are there questions to emphasize any polarizing differences? We’re pulling back the curtain and breaking down the perfect Bachelor image to see who the real Joey is. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Worst Month of the Year is wrapping up, but before it ends, we’ve got a lot of off-air moments to recap from the past week! Since last week’s recording, we surprised Jared with his apartment tour, hosted our first mixer, he had back-to-back sold out NYC shows, and now his birthday has finally arrived. Then, we hear from a listener who needs Jorge’s perspective on a guy she’s dating. Is she only uncertain because she’s used to dating Jareds? The Awkward Encounter is encouraging more listeners to join in on our dating challenge. Next, there’s an update to the “Are We Dating?” email from Valentine’s Day. The 95% girlfriend heard our advice, acted on it, and let us know what happened next. The episode ends in a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker? about a black eye, Valentine’s Day card, and yet another story about peeing in weird places. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Hopeful season is on the horizon, but for now, J&J are getting you through the bleakest part of winter with another Sunday Special! The episode kicks off with a round of “Petty or Prudent?” about a V-Day breakup. Is it automatically petty to break up with someone on Valentine’s Day, or was our listener within reason? Next, J&J hear from a listener whose biggest issue with her talking stage is the repeated breaking of her boundaries. Is her perspective skewed from being recently out of a long-term relationship, or is this guy being f*cked up? J&J read the texts and weigh in on why these red flags should be a deal breaker. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It’s the Worst Day of the Year, which happens to be the day Jared Freid was born! The episode starts with reflecting on Jordana’s unhinged rant that gave today its special name and how he feels entering his personal new year. Then, Emma Willmann, host of Ask Men Anything, returns and shares revelations she's gained as a lesbian questioning men on everything. Next, they hear from a listener in need of guidance on an internal debate. After having sex with the guy she’s been dating, he casually mentions being queer, and she wonders why he would not be direct about such a big part of his identity. Is it internalized homophobia making her question a non-issue, or was there a better way to go about this conversation? Jared, Jordana, and Emma debate all sides of a relatable issue in today's modern dating world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Still in awe of Tracy Chapman’s reemergence at the GRAMMYs, J&J’s pre-show talk spills into the start of this Sunday Special. Next, they jump into “Petty or Prudent?” about blocking your ex after a breakup text. Do you owe them a chance to respond, or nothing at all once a breakup is done? Then, a listener explains why her boyfriend seeking therapy is a growing problem for her and their relationship. What’s appropriate to share with your partner from sessions, and when is it OK to push back on what you’re being told? It’s his therapist she has an issue with, but J&J have a bone to pick with him too. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Happy Valentine’s Day! Today’s episode has something for everyone – lovers, new listeners, singles, and anyone struggling in a situationship. J&J have a dating challenge to share, but first, Jared kicks off with a pep talk for anyone alone on Valentine’s Day. Then, Jordana speaks on TikTok coming for her over last week’s Pookie and Jett debate. Next, a listener is starting to get back into dating, but just isn’t feeling it. Does she just need more time to get the spark back, or is there a deeper issue at play? The Awkward Encounter is an all too common issue of being on a date that isn’t a date. The episode ends in a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about your SO misspelling your name and thinking your friend is hot, and pranking a SO. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Comments (59)

Carson McDonnell

listening to this through headphones is awful. Jared's constant screaming and "singing" is awful. being louder doesn't make it funnier.

Oct 4th
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Carson McDonnell

love the pod but sick of hearing Jared sing or do his Renaissance voice rants.

Apr 26th
Reply

Carson McDonnell

the loud singing makes me want to gouge my eyes out, plz, for the love of God, stop...other than that, love ❤️

Jan 2nd
Reply

Aleja Yepes

I see nothing wrong with the "are we dating the same guy?" groups. it's basically a review. who wouldn't like to have a review about the person they are potentially dating.

Aug 25th
Reply

Lisa Lisa

Judging yourself during a date will probably not please anyone, although any form of revelation will certainly be of interest to the interlocutor and lover, but it is probably best to refrain from such conversations. By the way, how do you feel about lesbian romances on a dating site here https://www.lesbiemates.com/sugar-mama-dating.html . Young lesbians very often want to find the patronage of a lesbian sugar mommy and this is the most successful option for this purpose.

Jun 5th
Reply

Carina Leash

boring

Mar 24th
Reply

Lauren Brady

sang along with the Boston commercials 😄

Mar 13th
Reply

dee4frlyfe

ONG AWESOME BOOK LOL IT TOOK ME A FEW MINUTES TO REALIZE IT EVEN AFTER I WROTE IT DOWN ABD IT LOOKED FAMILIAR LOL . LOVE YOU GUYS. YOUR BOTH SO AWESOME AND AMAZING PLUS SOOO FUNNY !!!KEEP KILLING IT GRRR LOL THANK YOU FIR HELPING ME DURING BAD AND GOOD TIMES !!! CAN I SAY PODCAST #1!!!!

Jul 16th
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lynn

lmao girl if he says he doesn't want kids and marriage and thats what you want that's a deal breaker, it's so easy

Mar 23rd
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lynn

wtf I had no idea people put pots and pans in the fridge instead of using Tupperware?!?!

Mar 13th
Reply (1)

lynn

lmao Meconium is the baby's first stool and it is black and tar like and does cause problems if aspirated in the womb. Jared was pretty much right!

Mar 13th
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lynn

Happy 10 years Betches!! 🥳

Mar 13th
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KrisS73

Oh no -- you guys are really underestimating women older than you. I am 47 and part of a generation that was part of the explosion of the internet. Careful, don't alienate a group of women who are internet savvy and have a host of material you could really take advantage of like dating as a single parent, or while in pre menopause, etc. Such much needed dialogue in that realm!

Jul 20th
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Srishti Bose

Seriously disappointed in these two. They, as two white peoples talking about the Karen videos, come across as so fucking ignorant it’s disgusting.

Jul 20th
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Srishti Bose

Okay but how would he get your Instagram ID unless you gave it to him? Especially if you’re private.

May 23rd
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Sam Burke

This is the funniest podcast I've listened to! they literally hit the nail on the forehead with modern dating 😂

Jan 5th
Reply

Srishti Bose

“I do things ! I do things.”

Sep 7th
Reply

Srishti Bose

“Hard and Wet isn’t a one size fits all proposition” lmao

Aug 8th
Reply (1)

Calvin Thomas

Fantastic discussions, one of the best dating podcasts out there! Thank you J&J!

Jul 12th
Reply

Giga Guns

yep... he has BPD...

Jul 6th
Reply
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