Claim Ownership

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We often think romantic relationships have a natural progression, right? You meet the perfect partner, you start dating, and as things get serious you start talking about your future together — which usually involves moving in together, marriage, and maybe even kids. But the truth is, you and your partner always get to decide what your relationship looks like - even if it’s different from society’s expectations. This week on the podcast, in the conclusion of a 2-part series, the Gentleman Consort and I discuss getting to decide what our relationship looks like, how we’ve grown since we began dating, and what we love most about each other.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/265
This week, my partner, the Gentleman Consort (GC for short), is making his podcast debut and you’re going to get a behind-the-scenes peek at our relationship! In part 1 of this 2-part series, we cover the gamut from first impressions and first dates, to the GC’s introduction to thought work, to feeling disappointment in a relationship, to how perfectionism and communication affect your relationships.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/264
Just a few weeks ago we closed out our last Clutch College Live for a while. Over the course of the 3-day, live, in-person and virtual event, minds were blown and breakthroughs were made. A lot of what I coached on had to do with goals — and I want to share some of the amazing takeaways that came out of that weekend.   Tune in to find out the real reason you don’t set goals, what we’re actually afraid of when we’re agonizing over a decision, how to be prepared for the inevitability of your brain offering you an old thought that will not help you reach your goal, and how life is always 50/50, no matter what.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/263
How often do you spend time thinking about what’s possible for you? As women, we’re socialized to make ourselves small and not go after what we really want. That in order to have what we want, we have to suffer for it now to get our ‘reward’ later. But when we surround ourselves with other people who can help us hold space for the larger vision we really want for our lives, that’s when the “impossible” really starts to feel possible. Listen to this special episode to learn why we’re really afraid to imagine what’s possible and how women are changing their lives inside the Clutch. Doors to the Clutch are open now through November 8, 2022. 
Giving yourself permission to want the things you want *and* to go out and get them is one of the most powerful decisions you can make in your life – and it’s also one of the hardest. This week I continue my conversation with my friend and mentor Brooke Castillo where we dive into the feeling of worthiness, why it’s ok to want more than what you have, and how tapping into what you really want helps you show up most powerfully in the world.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/262
I’m extremely proud of all of the work I’ve created as a coach. But if I had to pick one thing I’m most proud of, it just might be the incredible, supportive community I’ve helped create inside the Clutch, my monthly feminist coaching program. New Clutch chickens are always amazed that a community of this size, with this much diversity, is truly showing up to engage in thought work *without* any drama and is working to create whatever results they want in life. Listen to this special episode to hear just a few of the incredible stories of how women and people socialized as women are changing their lives inside the Clutch. Doors to the Clutch are open now through November 8, 2022.  
What does it mean to have authority over your own life? When it comes down to it, having authority looks like having your own back, no matter what happens. This week I’m talking with my mentor, friend, and the person who trained me to be a coach and showed me how to have my own back no matter what, Brooke Castillo. Tune in as we discuss how we define authority, what the ultimate claiming of authority is, and how you can take the first steps toward claiming more authority in your life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/261
In this bonus episode, I’m giving you a little taste of a brand new collaboration I’ve been working on. I recorded five brand new podcast episodes for Radio Headspace, and I’m releasing the first episode today on the podcast. Tune in to this collaboration with wellness app Headspace as I dive into neuroplasticity, one question you can ask yourself to begin shaking things up inside your brain, the pitfalls of perfectionist thinking, and more.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/bonus-headspace
Women are taught that someone else always knows better than we do. Even in areas where women are stereotypically presumed the authority, like running the household, we’re still constantly told that we don’t know what we’re doing! (Think all of the messaging about how we should parent our children or how we’re doing meal prep all wrong.) Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to find out how this socialization plays out in our lives, what is the most important thought work you can do, and how you can start taking back your authority.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/260
“Maybe this is dumb, but… ,” “I know I shouldn’t feel this way… ,” “Does that make sense?”   These may seem like simple, innocuous words, but they’re just an outward example of the many ways that women and people socialized as women don’t trust their own authority. It’s no wonder that as women we struggle with people pleasing, seeking validation, and not being able to tune into what we really want - we’re literally socialized to do these things.   But from October 24-28 I’m hosting a live training series designed to help you grab your authority back so you can make decisions about your life from a place of empowerment and confidence. Tune in to this special bonus episode to learn more about the Claim Your Authority (AKA Stop Giving a Fuck What Other People Think) Challenge and how you can claim your ticket today.   Click here to learn more.
On this week’s episode of the podcast, I’m going to share what thought work really is, teach you how thought work is more than just working on your thoughts and show you how it encompasses your emotions, values, social conditioning, and more.   Tune in to find out why your body is actually a key part of thought work, learn one crucial aspect of my teaching, and hear why I think there’s no problem that thought work doesn’t help.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/259
This week on the podcast I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Elizabeth Sherman, Jill Angie, and Karen C.L. Anderson, as we begin to unravel how socialization affects the way women feel in their midlife years.   Tune in as we talk about why midlife is a great time to re-evaluate the relationship you have with yourself and the boundaries you hold with the people in your life, how to not allow your stage in life define your identity, and a better, more empowering alternative to the anti-aging tools society tells midlife women are a necessity.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/258
This week on the podcast I’m joined by one of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Lindsay Poelman, and her husband, Danny, as we discuss what it’s like for men to recognize their own patriarchal socialization.   Tune in as we talk about how patriarchal conditioning is not a zero sum game, how patriarchy can be oppressive to people of all gender identities (not just women), and why the feeling of disempowerment in privileged white men can actually lead to positive change.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/257
Something incredible happens when you introduce intersectional feminism into your coaching - you move from coach to change-maker. And my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching student Stephanie illustrates the transformation brilliantly in her ACFC reflection.   Tune in to this special bonus episode to hear how Stephanie’s life and business have transformed as a result of this work. Applications for ACFC are open through October 7.   To register, text your email address to +1-347-997-1784 and use the code word acfc, or click here: unfuckyourbrain.com/acfc
Have you ever wondered when you should manage your mind versus when you should take action? Would you like to know the single question that will get you 90% of where you need to go in a coaching session? Are you curious about what my best piece of business advice is for new business owners?   Tune in to this week’s episode as I answer these and more questions from coaches about business and coaching. You’ll find out why there’s no such thing as knowing your niche, how you can get your clients to take a different perspective, and how to know when to switch from offering 1:1 to group coaching.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/256
In this bonus episode, I dive deep into the perfectionist brain with my friend and coaching colleague, Dr. Katrina Ubell. Tune in to my conversation with Katrina to learn why not all coaching tools work for all brains, how perfectionist thinking can hold us back from reaching (or even setting) our goals and how it keeps us stuck in a cycle of allowing anyone but ourselves to be the authority over our own lives.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/bonus-katrina-ubell
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our bodies simply don’t work the way we want them to. Maybe it’s an occasional occurrence for you or maybe it’s something you live with every day. We take on all sorts of messages about what health is (and what it’s not), how we get healthy, and how we stay healthy. But is all of the social messaging we absorb really helping us measure health? Or is it something that has been designed and packaged to tell us how to measure our own morality and worth?   Tune into my conversation with two of my students, Deb Malkin and Michelle Kapler, to learn why health is so challenging for so many of us, how we try to control our health, and how (as usual) trying to control something we can’t control, can make everything feel worse.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/255
Self-confidence goes by many names - self-love, self-esteem, self-regard. But no matter what you call it, it’s important to dig deep and examine whether yours is conditional or unconditional. When you’re constantly looking to outside factors to feel good about yourself, that’s conditional self-confidence. Conditional self-confidence has a big impact on our relationship with ourselves, but what are the larger implications?   Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn the impact conditional self-confidence has on the way we seek out security, how it can create unhealthy patterns in our relationships with others, and how you can start cultivating unconditional self-confidence.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/254
Being a first-generation immigrant and experiencing dual socialization (of any kind) profoundly shapes how you experience the world. And that’s exactly what I talk about on the podcast this week with two of the coaches from my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching, Ana Lopez and Cris Berlingeri. Tune in to learn how dual socialization can help you clearly see how our thoughts are subjective, why it’s important to define cultural traditions vs. non-cultural traditions, and about the power of thought work to help you create the kind of life you want to live.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/253
I get a lot of questions from people who are new to thought work that have to do with gaslighting themselves. It’s a totally normal concern and one that I’ve talked about many times on the podcast. But here’s why it’s so interesting. It comes from the assumption that your original unconscious thoughts are better or carry more importance simply because it is your original subconscious thought. Why are we giving more importance to the first thing our brains spit out than the thoughts we intentionally cultivate ourselves?   Listen to this week’s podcast episode to learn why our original thoughts aren’t necessarily our most helpful thoughts and how the most real or ‘you’ thoughts can be the ones you choose intentionally.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/252
Comments (97)

Amanda Joy

love this ep! thank youuu 🙏🏼

Nov 10th
Reply

Maribel Castaneda

THANK U !! 🙌

Jul 8th
Reply

Hadi Lotfi

💯

Jul 7th
Reply

Amber Weekley

I totally needed this 💕💕

Apr 2nd
Reply

Tobin Prowant

I listen to these 2 women for more than 10 minute. And I have absolutely no idea what the h*** they're talking about!!! Their idiotic use of buzzwords was insane!!!!

Mar 29th
Reply

Maxine

POWERFUL. SO POWERFUL 🖤

Mar 3rd
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Maxine

I would love for you to do a podcast about feeling safe! defo need to talk more about this 🖤👌🏾🙏🏾 love your work. I will work with you one day soon. I'm on the waitlist x

Mar 1st
Reply

Amber Weekley

I love The Clutch & this podcast!! tysm!😍

Feb 22nd
Reply

Maxine

very good. I will say having a solid foundation in yourself - having the good self- esteem and confidence and knowing your value and belief in yourself is really the key to being brave enough to handle rejection and not making it about you. 🖤

Feb 13th
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Maxine

you were talking right at me!!! EVERYTHIGN 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Feb 8th
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Maxine

this. THIS was all the things. so much made sense to me. this was so helpful 🖤

Feb 8th
Reply

mozhgan

thanks for your perfect podcast😉I will use this instructions from now on but I couldn’t reach your website so if you are seeing this please send me that worksheet ❣️

Jan 14th
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Sweet Creature

Great!

Jan 5th
Reply

Phoenix Coolbaugh

I realize this is old and maybe you've had a change of opinion since then but as a poor and physically disabled person, I encourage you to reconsider whether or not we all really do have the same 24 hours. We don't and it's a privileged oversight to believe otherwise. For example, it takes me an hour to shower with the amount of chronic pain I deal with and how slow moving my body is. It also takes me longer to dress and brush my teeth than that of an able-bodied person. so if I have to go somewhere, I have to wake up earlier, and as a result I either lose sleep or have to go to bed earlier the night before, which shortens my usable hours in the previous day. often when I have morning appointments, I have to skip breakfast because I just don't have the time. it's physically not there. I could have planned better but that steals away time from the previous evening or sleep and I can't always predict my pain levels so on a bad day, a shower might take longer than anticipated throwing a well planned agenda out the window. yesterday, my fatigue stole time I needed to do my college math assignment so now I'm behind. I've been doing nothing but math all day and am now behind in English as a result. I've had no time to do anything else. I'm poor so I have to spend a lot of time that financially stable people don't, jumping through hoops to get assistance and to make ends meet. that reduces the number of usable hours I have. the number of doctors appointments I have limits my useable hours as well. the amount of available time I have to complete tasks is significantly less compared to someone without these disadvantages. they can just get up and do things, they can just complete tasks without fatigue forcing sudden naps, they can maybe hire people to do things for them that I must do myself because of being poor, etc. for people that have to use public transit, their usable hours in a day dramatically decrease as well. Trans people that must drop what we're doing to go find a safe bathroom while out in public have less usable time. lbgtqia people, people of color, or women that have to walk alternate routes because the shorter route isn't well lit have less usable time, the list goes on. marginalized and disadvantaged people have less time than others. You and I, for example, do not have the same 24 hours.

Jan 5th
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Yuka

I loooved it thank you

Jan 4th
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Nikki Brogden

WOW!!! I'm a complete procrastinator - Of all the self help courses/webinar etc. I've taken, I've Never heard procrastination/deadline pressure explained SO WELL!!! This Totally made perfect sense to me - This last 10 days I've been avoiding making calls to two companies that owe me money, hopefully tomorrow I can kick my Lizard Brain in to touch and pick up that phone!!! Thank you SO much 💜

Dec 3rd
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Vanessa Leigh

This is one of the worst podcasts I've listened to. I've listened to over 10 episodes and wasted hours of my life with the hope that she would give actuall solutions rather than talk about the problem and then say that you can find the solution to your issue by paying money and joining her 'clutch' group. This podcast is just a marketing ploy to drive business to her paid subscriber program. there is next to no value added by the pod. All of the good reviews are from years ago. There are hardly any recent reviews. I'll try listening to one of the original episodes before de-subscribing. The concept is great but there's no value add. It's just marketing. Also, her voice is grating.

Nov 25th
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Dawn Wilkinson Evans

Definitely one of the best episodes. I think many listeners can relate go some or all of it.

Nov 22nd
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Amber Weekley

it's amazing how this podcast can get me out of a negative headspace. I love it! Thanks Kara! xx

Nov 10th
Reply

Maribel Castaneda

Thank you for this ❤️

Oct 30th
Reply
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