What You Do

The world’s largest great white shark breezed past swimmers in North Carolina, and a couple decides to divorce because their dog and cat couldn’t get along. I can clearly see that! JK Rowling is pissed off at Emma Watson, and lets her have it on social media, plus a guy was arrested doing 107 mph because he had to get to his barber appointment, which makes complete sense. You want to sell your fingernail clippings? Because China is buying, and I’m all in. Americans are cooling it on college saying it’s a waste of time and money, and Halloween is in trouble because Americans are saying it’s too expensive. I say pick one. And what are the best candies to hand out on Halloween? PETA is calling for a teacher to resign because of what she did to a new born kitten in front of her class, and that one is hard to hear. Florida comes through in a big way with a guy who presents a live alligator in court as his attorney. The crazies are clearly here, and that includes me.

Lots of good crap today. Example; A school administrator stole an ATM machine without his wife’s permission, and a mere skateboard sold at auction for millions. Cool Stories In Music pulls back the layers of Levi Stubbs career, and what would happen if you drove a tiny Barbie car in real traffic while drunk? This dude found out. The five activities that are banned in space, and a wannabe bride does a stupid thing, or did she? Marjorie is the latest hot craze name for your newborn child, and there’s a reason, plus I give you the top 10 one hit wonders. She did something because she thought it was really sweet. He didn’t! An Ohio school teacher was fired because he stole 14 lawnmowers, and you can now purchase the actual house from the Conjuring. Anybody? Push play so the haunting can begin!

A woman sued and won because her work mate kept rolling her eyes at her, and the new iPhone 17 has a bit of a problem. A single Pokémon card just sold for millions, and people are dropping their subscriptions to streaming services in droves. Prenups in marriage are very popular now, and they say the high divorce rate is a myth, and I say bullshit! An arriving plane couldn’t land because the traffic controller had fallen asleep, and what’s something you secretly judge someone for? Thinking about a do-it-yourself home project with your spouse? Don’t! What really stresses out most people at work? Hint, it’s not the job, and how would you like to see commercials on your refrigerator every morning? Why would someone send a package containing a pair of woman’s shoes to an island where only cows lived, and with that in mind; monkeys like to get drunk. Lastly, a car was pulled over and the woman in the car blamed the driving on her husband, but she was the only one in the car. Let’s light this candle!

Ellen DeGeneres is being sued and I’m not sure anyone cares. A guy owed a cruise ship a ton of money from gambling losses, so he jumped ship. Ladies, what did you not know about men until you started living with one? Men are more loyal to their barbers than their wives, and the cost of raising kids is out of control. Some states are taking control of your thermostat, which is scary, and did you know some airline pilots take naps during flights? I’m not kidding, and guess what the number one day of the year on which the most people are born, and there is a good reason for it. The top 5 happiest states in the US and I give you the most expensive Lego set ever put on sale. I share an easy way to get rid of anxiety, and I saved the best for last; she didn’t like her husband so she tried to kill him, twice. How can you not?

Guess what a Florida puppy store hired to attract customers? I give you the latest on Taylor Swift doing the Super Bowl, and are you a part of the foldable phone craze? More songs you’re embarrassed to admit that you love, and out of all generations, guess which one is the unhappiest? A Florida guy got arrested simply because he wanted to smell a woman’s feet, and what are scientists now saying about so-called astrologers? In what part of the country are the unhappiest couples found, and how would you feel if you were woken up in the middle of the night by a four-hundred-pound drunk guy who was completely naked and a stranger to you? And Darth Vader’s original light saber has sold at auction for crazy money. Details on this and more are yours, today, on What You Do!

You’ll never look at a cucumber the same way, and that’s a promise! Apparently, the Cincinnati Bengals are super cheap on every possible level, and would you give your pet to a local zoo to be fed to the lions and tigers? This lady did. I give you the top 3 most stolen cars, and did you know that AOL and its dial up internet still exists? A Florida man threatened a landscaper with a twelve-inch knife while wearing a jester outfit, plus, is there anything you have aged out of? Walmart is doing a great thing for you if you own an EV car, and Americans are sick of tipping. Plus, the butt sniffer is back, so be careful if you live in Burbank. Let’s light this candle.

What’s a guy to do when an ex-lover totals his car because she’s pissed at him? You got millions of dollars and want to live in luxury? Then I’ll share the 5 most expensive zip codes in America. A new world record has been set for holding his breath, and a guy went to the doctor complaining of chest pain; you’ll never guess what they found. Guess what broke into a family’s home, and there were eight of them, plus I reveal the best time for you to go to bed. Discover what guys are now spending large amounts of money on, and it isn’t legal in the US. And we wrap it up with a guy who has an uncontrollable fetish and he’s in jail for it. Another day, another show. How can you not?

What’s the most attractive hobby a man can have? A dog finds human body parts in the nearby woods and proudly brings them home. Apparently, the couple that gossips together stays together, and a Florida couple sells golden tickets at only $100 that secures your spot in heaven. The Labubu craze leads to jail for some very fine Americans, you might want to get in on the car auction craze but you’ll need several million for that, and when a guy needs his phone, he seriously needs his phone. The top 5 most relaxing cities in the world and Chino isn’t one of them. Plus, Starbucks says some people have gone too far, and wait till you hear about a female California mail carrier’s side hustle. It’s way too much to process on your own so let me help you with that. All you need to do is push play!

Dude scored 1.8 million playing slots… or did he? They had to scare off a pack of wolves, and you won’t believe how they did it. AI may be watching you during your next hotel stay and proceed with care the next time you’re in a brothel. A farmer gave away 650,000 because God told him to, and people in China are calming their nerves in a completely new way. A guy’s sister fell off his motorcycle doing 60 mph and he didn’t go back for her, top 5 cities for BBQ, and pray you never have rats like they found under a British family’s home. Plus, we say goodbye to a friend. Most of these stories are complete bullshit, but it’s kind of fun to listen to them.

Today we welcome in Noah Wyle for an extended chat about his HBO Max show, “The Pitt,” and I will have a much shorter chat with my granddaughter Onyx. A decent round of “Songs I Hate,” and what would you pay for an original Star Wars storm trooper helmet? A super pissed off woman takes her revenge on a car dealership who she says wronged her. Complete proof your dog loves you, and a naked man gets revenge in court for being naked. I’ll explain that. What’s the ideal bedtime, and the top 10 favorite pies, plus Bill Gates is selling his super yacht, so get out your piggy bank. How many friends do you think you need and what are things you don’t miss about the 80s and 90s? Unless you got something better to do, join me.

Today, we travel back in time on Cool Stories in Music to meet the Wellingtons, and clearly, you’re pumped. Half of all working people in the US don’t take their paid vacation time; I’ll tell you why for a dollar. Sports betting is surging to problematic levels, and that’s not good. What happened on a dinner date that caused you to leave in the middle of it, plus the #1 thing not to do on an airplane. I have the top 10 unhealthiest fast-food restaurants, and what are you starting to like more as you get older? And to top it all off, Florida continues to prove themselves as the most entertaining state in all of the US. Every week they surprise us with a new level of vileness. Plus, by the time you push play, I will have thought of something else, so don’t ignore me!

Pretty good show today considering the fact that I don’t give a shit. What do most psychopaths say is their favorite color? Apparently super-fast internet is coming soon, and what is the best super hero movie of all time? What things are you starting to lose interest in, and something is apparently up with Pringles chips. A chunk of planet Mars just sold at auction. How much would you pay? And the question of the day; what would you be willing to do for a million dollars? Some of the answers may surprise you; they did for me. And a final word of warning; be careful the next time you’re at Lowes, especially if you’re looking at the sheds on display out in the parking lot. This and more are fully explained today in colorful detail. It’s better than most of the shit you have planned.

John Hamm has been replaced as the voice of Mercedes Benz and take a guess by who. One of the biggest social media stars can’t buy a place to live and wait until you hear why. A man stole 53 women’s shoes but only for the right foot. What did someone do or say that caused you to never go out with them again? The top 5 best French fries in the world of burger joints and a California lady simply can’t stop the Amazon packages from coming to her house. I give you What Year Is It, and I’ve seen Super Man, and I will review it. Don’t leave me alone I here, join me.

What would you say if I told you they have developed a drone the size of a mosquito? Well, they have, and some folks are freaked out about it. Men are concerned because they are doing more housework than ever before. And while men are cleaning house, guess where moms like to go to get away from it all? Today’s mainstream would rather scroll on their phones than have sex, and safety tip here; try not to put fireworks down your toilet if you can help it. We have fun with Alexa, a rousing round of Lynda’s fun fact follies, and we remember Kevin Gilbert. Don’t know him? Well, I think you’ll like what you hear. Throw up the shutters and batten down the hatches, I’m going to share common pieces of life advice that are complete bullshit. So, if you don’t listen, you won’t hear it…so take that!

We celebrate this July holiday with a landscaper who throws a massive party in a huge mansion that isn’t his? How about a seven-month cruise that takes you all the way around the world in luxury? Take a guess how much it costs! The question has been posed, “Is sex dead?” We head back to Florida because there’s a gator in the pool, and he aint doing the backstroke. What do you think the single best restaurant is for the eleventh straight year? There was pirate booty found in a dead guy’s bedroom wall. He had an entire secret room hidden behind a framed picture on the wall. We also give you ten 4 th of July fun facts, and we wrap it up with the single best weird and wacky story in our two-year history. I’ve got a firecracker for you! Guess where it is!

If it weren’t for the criminally insane in the state of Florida, I wouldn’t have a show. Today, we offer a twofer from that wonderful land of the lame. It’s summer, which means lots of folks are flying, so we look into the sketchy world of a flight attendant who was found in the first-class lavatory of an airborne plane, completely naked, and dancing to music that wasn’t on. One man thought he saw snakes on his plane and demanded the aircraft land immediately. And you can’t say the word “bomb” on a plane and expect to get away with it. Don’t worry, he didn’t. An interesting fun fact about the octopus, a rousing round of “What Year is it” and maybe we shouldn’t pee while in the shower; just a thought. The heat of summer has brought out the nutty, and I have every bit of it to share, so hop aboard.

First off, we celebrate the return of hotdog eating champion Joey Chestnut, plus another solid round of, “Songs I Hate.” What’s an odd smell you secretly love but can’t explain? Can you imagine a dog park where dogs aren’t allowed to bark? I give you a firm example of the fact that crazy doesn’t always know it’s crazy, and being a self-confessed lover of fun facts, I have a nice one for you today. Our playground welcomes you, and your barking dog, so come on in.

Today we learn what dry begging is, and your next hotel stay might have service robots clean up your mess while you’re in the room. Men are reporting more penis in their pants, all by taking a pill which is intended for a completely different reason. I give you the holy grail of baseball cards, and details of the all-new gold digger test, which the recipient didn’t seem to appreciate. There is a two-million-dollar power ball winner but no one has showed up to claim it, and one of the creepiest weird and wacky stories we’ve had to date. Plus, Rocket Bob has knocked one out of the park, and it was social media that did the trick. All of that packed into one show? Crazy!

Yes, there was a bear in someone’s kitchen, and he was sitting on their stove. He appeared to be rather comfortable there. As shocking as it may sound, the semi colon is becoming extinct. What would we do without it. A man stole a ferret by shoving it down his pants and fleeing the store. I give you the five rudest fan bases of NFL teams, proof that big foot is real, and just because a little kid calls you fat doesn’t mean you can smack him around, especially when he isn’t your kid. I’m tired just from typing all of it. Yes, the sordid details will be yours simply by pushing play.

It’s a beautiful thing when our segment “SONGS YOU HATE” returns to the program, and one of the hated songs will have some people strap on some weapons. You may possibly have a penny worth thousands of dollars and not even know it. We give you the rudest possible days of the year to have your wedding, and people are calling this guy the worst neighbor possible. Plus, what are some things you pretend to enjoy but secretly hate. We tackle the hard news here, so jump in.