DiscoverWhere Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Claim Ownership
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Author: Esther Perel Global Media
Subscribed: 142,845Played: 2,591,470Subscribe
Share
© 136272
Description
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? Part of the Vox Media Podcast Network.
103 Episodes
Reverse
This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening.
Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. This week, Esther talks to a woman stricken with grief--one year ago, her sister and father died in quick succession. Her remaining family was torn apart and she feels left to pick up the pieces on her own. Esther walks her through how to make space for the immeasurable grief.
If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard time having with ourselves let alone with others. Oftentimes, our sexual fantasies exist in this space and reveal us at our most bare, showing us not just what we want sexually, but what we want emotionally and psychologically. Even with a loving partner, it can be difficult to share our most personal sexual fantasies. There's often shame, stigma, and a fear of being judged. Award-winning actress, Gillian Anderson, joins Esther to discuss Want, her collection of women's anonymous fantasies from around the world.
To purchase Gillian Anderson's new book, Want: https://bit.ly/3O8CVcZ
If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
A year after explosive revelations of cheating and the existence of a 14 year old son her partner never told her about, a woman receives a call about a fresh round of betrayal. She is humiliated and in crisis, while her partner’s ability to compartmentalize has rendered him a ghost in his own life. They love each other and parent two boys but may not be able to find a shared reality in which to move forward.
If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
He's been searching for someone for so long that he questions if he's actually looking for a unicorn. He wants someone who holds the same religious values as he does. As is often the case with Esther, the conversation that unfolds breaks down what's really underneath his seemingly high demands. This episode contains references to sexual abuse, please take care while listening.
If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin?, but might still be new to many of you. What began as an eight-year affair between two women has stretched into a 19-year partnership. But despite their private commitment to one another, they’ve never quite managed to move beyond the shame of their origin story. Esther takes a novel approach to revealing a long-held secret.
If you have an individual question you would like to talk through with Esther, please send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com. If you would like to apply for a couples session with Esther, please click here: https://bit.ly/40fGHIU.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Imagine meeting the love of your life at work. And a few months in, you want to keep the guy but ditch the job. Which is fine—until your fiancé wants to invite your evil ex-boss to the wedding. In this Esther Calling a young woman seeks advice from Esther on how to handle the conflict arising with her fiancé and his decision to invite her former abusive boss to their wedding.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter"
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Theirs is an accelerated love story. They moved in, decided to have a baby, and are now struggling to weather the hardships of parenting together. She feels unsupported and like she's the only adult in the room. He is overwhelmed and constantly feels put down by her. They have split up emotionally but not yet physically. Esther helps them sort through the power, gender, and trust issues that so often arise with new parents to see if it's enough to help them find their way back.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
They have been best friends for years. He opened a book store and she was his first employee. Things were great until they weren't. She left to preserve the friendship- but a year later they still haven’t talked about what went wrong with them professionally. Esther talks to her about how to start a different kind of business relationship if they were willing to give this another go.
This is a special episode of How's Work?, a one-time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. It was edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This is a classic session, from the first season of How's Work? They were mates in university before co-founding a successful communications company. They still work together from different coasts, but they barely speak. One wants to move on; the other is grasping for his former friend. Neither can find the words to talk about it.
Esther’s two new courses on desire are now available inside The Desire Bundle. Go to https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle to learn more about Bringing Desire Back and Playing with Desire.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This week, Esther is in a borrowed bedroom in Los Angeles, the perfect place to talk about desire and the novel on every bedside table, All Fours. The writer, director, and artist, Miranda July, joins Esther to examine the erotic and to explore how love and desire relate and how they conflict in modern relationships. They discuss the tension between the domestic and erotic through the lens of Esther's new desire course, which Miranda had a sneak peek at.
For more details on Miranda July's book, All Fours, visit https://mirandajuly.com/all-fours/
If you are interested in Bringing Back Desire or Playing With Desire in your relationships, then click the link below for more on Esther's course The Desire Bundle: https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Esther speaks to a woman who feels frustrated and stuck in her dating patterns. She loves going on dates, regularly meets people out and about, and feels open to having multiple forms of a relationship. And still…she gets to one or two or three dates before the relationship fizzles out. Esther gives her a new way to think about it and reframes her frustrations.
Esther's has two new courses out. If you are interested in Bringing Desire Back or Playing With Desire in your relationships, then click the link below for more.
For more go to: https://www.estherperel.com/course-bundles/the-desire-bundle
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
They were in a consensual, non-monogamous relationship and happily growing their family. But he broke the first rule of their relationship, and it resulted in a major crisis—an unplanned pregnancy involving another woman. They are committed to each other, but this unforeseen transformation of their family has many unexpected consequences that involve their entire world—family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. Will their relationship be able to survive all of these upheavals?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
They're amicably divorced divorce lawyers, carving out a new kind of relationship after the end of their marriage. Esther reframes their situation and proposes a radical solution.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Often when a relationship ends, we're left with regrets, questions, and conversations we wish we could have had. Esther helps a woman process the things she left unsaid including the sexual grief and loss she feels after her husband unexpectedly died.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. The suicide of his first wife left four traumatized children in its wake; she's spent six years putting the pieces back together. They're both ready to experience joy in their marriage, but can't quite figure out how. Esther coaches them through the difference between survival vs. revival, and how to live after loss.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Ten years and two kids later, a wife comes to Esther looking for answers: does she want to explore her attraction to women because she's bisexual, or because she no longer wants to be married to her husband?
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Join Esther for a dinner table conversation on the topic of polyamory. The dinner was held to mark the anniversary of a panel discussion Esther was part of on the same topic ten years earlier. Together the original panel and a few new friends explore what has changed in the last decade as consensual non-monogamy has become more mainstream, why some advocate for their choices, and what consequences and challenges they still face as well. This is not a session but a fly on the wall conversation. Some of the guests chose to be anonymous, while others allowed us to use their names.
To watch the talk from ten years ago "Special Arrangements: The Changing Face of the 21st Century Relationship"discussion panel on non-monogamy and polyamory with Sunny Bates (moderator), Reid Mihalko, Diana Adams, Esq., and Esther Perel, go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iDluKrMvYw
Diana Adams is the Executive Director of nonprofit advocacy group www.ChosenFamilyLawCenter.org and a mediator serving families nationwide to negotiate polyamorous agreements with www.DianaAdamsLaw.net.
Reid Mihalko is a sex and relationship educator. More about his work at http://ReidAboutSex.com.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
It began as a passionate affair and ended two marriages. Now, they're struggling as they try to build trust. Esther encourages them to be brutally honest--with themselves.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
They met in college; he's a U.S. citizen and she's trapped in a cross-border limbo. Their young love complicated by immigration status and politics, Esther helps them appreciate each other's sacrifices as they contemplate marriage.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
The Arc of Love is my gift to you as your summer beach listen of 2024. A curated collection of stories about trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, attraction and disgust, rupture and repair. As the stories mirror and amplify our own experiences, they help us grapple with the parts of ourselves that hold the same emotions, conflicts, and forbidden truths. Inevitably, one of these episodes will resonate with you, even if it’s not your story. I invite you to listen and tell me which one speaks to you.
A man has never thought of himself as a father but the partner he's devoted to is now unsure if she wants kids or not. With additional unknowns in his life, Esther helps guide him through his different questions about what the future holds.
Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to producer@estherperel.com.
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Top Podcasts
The Best New Comedy Podcast Right Now – June 2024The Best News Podcast Right Now – June 2024The Best New Business Podcast Right Now – June 2024The Best New Sports Podcast Right Now – June 2024The Best New True Crime Podcast Right Now – June 2024The Best New Joe Rogan Experience Podcast Right Now – June 20The Best New Dan Bongino Show Podcast Right Now – June 20The Best New Mark Levin Podcast – June 2024
United States
I'm searching everywhere for the follow up and even did a plus subscription in Apple podcasts. I can't find it!
What a kind, articulate, and courageous young man. Wishing him all the best in everything, may he have all the fulfillment he desires
This is fixable! ♡♡
As a single mother myself, this irked me. She refers to single mums like we are scum, almost like laying blame. He is unreliable and a cheat. She can choose to walk away and not be a doormat, alas she will be a single mum but a happier one at it.
At the moment the woman started crying, I felt my heart was scratched. I could guess what she needs. but, unfortunately, the people who have no idea about this stuff, don't search for learning it in podcasts or therapy room
Esther did a masterful job getting to the heart of the matter in this conflict. It's enthralling to be a fly on the wall for these counseling sessions!
a life story, not just a love story. lovely place to end :) I relate a lot to her stories, ghosting is so common. I love the idea of inviting over 4 people who bring 4 people. I think I might start doing online dating on just one day of the week...!
It is easy to see how this lady could scare men off. Too serious, and impatient.
Ghosting is not a mysterious social trend. It is merely low consciouse-avoidant people moving on in a passive and immature way. Avoidants find ghosting gives them an empowering feeling. But in actuality it is false empowerment. It ruins any social connection that could otherwise grow from that discarded person.
I love the way Esther works with people but i have to say in this episode no one talked about if the husband actually wanted to try out his wife's fantasies. He seemed uncomfortable but was sort of told to just do it anyway. It left me feeling that there needed to be a whole lot more discussion around how to proceed and concern if he was supported to work with her so they could both be happy.
young widow here, I lost my husband when I was 41, two children aged 4 and just turned 7. I can relate to everything she said. I am 45 yo now and have rebuilt my life, but I am not the same person and never will be. Also, financially stable like her, he looked after us.
I’m continually amazed by the depth and empathy Esther Perel brings to each episode of 'Where Should We Begin?' Her ability to explore complex relational dynamics with such nuance and understanding is truly enlightening. Each session feels like a masterclass in emotional intelligence and communication. https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/9a41649e-db29-4424-913d-92e16842d048/episodes/8449617d-14e9-4d94-895f-defd2acae2f4/customise-stickers-regulations-and-compliance-in-custom-packaging
I absolutely love listening to 'Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel.' Esther's deep understanding of human relationships and her ability to navigate complex emotional landscapes is truly remarkable. https://castbox.fm/episode/Reducing-Plastic-Waste-Alternatives-to-Traditional-Packaging-id6225473-id720078952?country=us
I’ve been there. It’s extremely hard and had absolutely no help taking care of my dad.
This lady is so immature. Zero self-awareness. I pity any man who is unlucky enough to get involved with her.
What does the husband need? Are his needs being met? This starts out with the story that he's awful and she needs him to change. But the wife mocks him several times! He just has a different way of processing information and protecting himself. Wife lashes out to protect herself, husband take in information and distances himself by being logical or smoothing things over to protect himself. They communicate at cross purposes and BOTH need to learn to understand and trust each other.
I've listened to a few episodes of this podcast, and so far this was the best one. I Know a few years have passed 😅. but still, thank you Ms. Perel.
This was one of the most incredibly painful episodes I have ever listened to. I thought you handled it masterfully. Truthfully, it really does under score the importance of really and truly deeply listening to your beloved. Thank you so much for sharing this. 
Girl save yourself time, therapy and heartache. This guy is a controlling idiot with very little empathy, he thinks he is superior.
Yes she did