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Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer
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Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

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Nicole Byer is single and has been for decades. She’s smart, funny, has a fat ass and loves giving blow jobs. So the question is why is she perpetually single? This podcast is a quest to find that answer. Every week, Nicole invites a comedian, friend, or ex-fling to interview their dating life and figure out her own.

151 Episodes
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Drag queen Latrice Royale (RuPaul's Drag Race, RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars) joins Nicole for a good teeheehee. She discusses getting into drag on a dare, writing on AJ and the Queen, meeting their husband Chris at a meet & greet, and the story behind their Chicago pride festival proposal.Check out Latrice's podcast: The Chop.Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Comedian and writer Dewayne Perkins (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Break with Michelle Wolf) joins Nicole to talk about getting back together with his ex, the importance of checking in with your partner, and how America has failed everyone. They also get into the systemic racism present in writers' rooms, and how to turn the thought of death into something positive.Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Lady Game (w/ Sam Jay)

Lady Game (w/ Sam Jay)

2020-09-0401:05:3013

Comedian Sam Jay (writer at SNL) discusses how she met her girlfriend, the influence of wealth in a relationship, and the difference between flirting with men and women. Sam teaches Nicole about bad bitch energy, and how she developed her "lady game". Plus, why aren't interviewers asking White people about #BLM?Check out Sam Jay's special on Netflix: netflix.com/title/81078802Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Ziwe (writer for Desus & Mero) and Nicole chat about being horn'd up, what they've been crying over, and are trying to learn to love what they see in the mirror. Nicole's back on the apps, where it seems like performative activism is the growing trend in dating bios. On the plus side, Nicole's been getting treated better on dating apps since the #BLM protests. Oh boy, life is wild and there's lots to unpack in this one.Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Writer and actress Amber Ruffin (Late Night with Seth Meyers, A Black Lady Sketch Show) chats with Nicole about the weight of having to discuss politics on Late Night, how they can make racism funny, and what the upcoming Zoom Emmy awards will be like. Plus, Amber helps write some Hinge messages, and Nicole challenges white people to come up with a good slave joke.Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Gabby Sidibe (Precious, American Horror Story, Empire) joins Nicole to discuss the problematic expectation to have to code switch at work, why Black women are often dealbreakers for Black men, and the crazy story behind dating a gay man for 3 years. Plus, they chat about watching 90 Day Fiancé in quarantine, and how they get mistaken for each other all the time.Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Fatphobia (w/ Roxane Gay)

Fatphobia (w/ Roxane Gay)

2020-08-0701:13:5216

Oh boy this is a juicy one. Author Roxane Gay (Bad Feminist, Hunger) joins Nicole to discuss their experiences with institutional racism, dealing with fatphobia in interviews, and how she treated school like a videogame. Then, Roxane shares the story behind eloping, how quarantine is testing the strength of relationships everywhere, and how her wife woo'd her through podcasting.Be an active ally. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
'Do you want to be an active ally, or do you just want to say that out loud?'Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman (Judge/host on Canada's Drag Race, Unreal) joins Nicole to unpack racial traumas from childhood, discuss the systematic racism in society, and rise in performative allies instead of active ones. After the break, Nicole shares her experience finding love at a Lassens.Be an active ally. For a list of resources and ways to help, check out blacklivesmatters.carrd.co.Follow Nicole Byer:Twitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Actress/comedian Ele Woods (The Good Place, CollegeHumor) shares her experiences being White-passing, and how she's using it for good. Her and Nicole discuss rollerblading and sewing in quarantine, and argue why 2020 is actually a good year. Plus, Nicole attends a virtual strip show, and teaches a 12 year old it's OK to pole dance.Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and places to donate check here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Drag queen The Vixen (Rupaul's Drag Race S10, host of Black Girl Magic) chats about calling out microaggressions on Drag Race, the type of hate mail they receive, and how appearing on the show lead to an amicable break in their relationship. Plus, they share the secret to flirting (which they learned working at Olive Garden), the fun of having a 'Weekend Boyfriend', and sleeping with someone just for the story.Also, Nicole needs to know the CDC's guidelines on doggy style. What's the safest way to find and lock down a fuckbuddy during quarantine? The Vixen weighs in.For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8EpuSupport Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
"I was just looking for butthole. And then wrapped around the butthole was a really nice, young, Jewish man."Bob the Drag Queen (winner of RuPaul's Drag Race S8) chats about systematic racism, his two partners, and the confusing social construct of dating, and so much more. Plus, Bob shares some wildly embarrassing hookup stories involving race chasers, and offers Nicole a very interesting dating proposition.For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8EpuSupport Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Actress and comedian Santina Muha (One Day at a Time, Curb Your Enthusiasm) answers the worst questions to ask someone in a wheelchair, shares some of the aggressive messages she's received on dating apps, and asks to include disability in today's conversation about diversity. Plus, Nicole recaps her experience 'Facetime dating' in quarantine.Support BLM. For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746Advertise on Why Won’t You Date Me via Gumball.fm
Actress Kirby Howell-Baptiste (The Good Place, Barry, Why Women Kill) discusses the rise in "Karens", managing life after death, and the reality of the Black experience. Plus, they share personal stories of racial bias, the importance of seeing representation in media, and how to raise a new generation of active allies.Check out @black.owned.everything on Instagram or officialblackwallstreet.com for a list of Black-owned businesses near you.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
Rapper and former drag queen AJA (RuPaul's Drag Race S9, All Stars S3) catches up with Nicole on the #BlackLivesMatter protests, discussing Black history erasure and how people can be a good ally in the movement. AJA dishes on Drag Race, admitting they were extremely high on edibles during the filming. Plus, they share how they met their biological parents this year, and provides advice on the foundational layers every successful relationship needs.For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8EpuSupport Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
"Sex is always better when you can be yourself during it"Jinkx Monsoon (Winner of Rupaul's Drag Race S5) dishes about fulfilling race chaser fantasies, heteronormative roleplay, how their Grindr use has changed since being on Drag Race, and so much more. Also, Nicole shares the only appropriate time to yell 'NAILED IT' at her.For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8EpuSupport Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://linktr.ee/dragherFollow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
Drag queen Monét X Change (RuPaul's Drag Race, winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars S4) shares the story about how they got their first STD from a race chaser, breaking up with their partner on Thanksgiving, and offers tips how to ease into butt stuff.Support Black Lives Matter. For a list of resources and places to donate click here: https://linktr.ee/dragherFor more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8EpuFollow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
The wonderful comedian Michelle Buteau (Always Be My Maybe, host of The Circle) discusses owning her sexuality, raising twins, being denied the ability to adopt kids, and so much more. Nicole and Michelle share their worst moments getting drunk on a plane, how the public keeps mistaking them for one another, and if having big tiddies makes it easier or harder to dateFor more Nicole Byer, check out her other podcast - Newcomers! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode.Rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a dirty comment for a chance to have it read on-air.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Order Nicole's new book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
BenDeLaCreme (RuPaul's Drag Race, RPDR All Stars) chats about how he deals with other people's traumas, getting gaslight by their therapist, and whats it's like to move in with a new boyfriend right before the pandemic. Plus, he explains his initial excitement to attain Race Chasers, and what made him so angry before his proposal.For more drag queens on Why Won't You Date Me, check out our episode playlist on Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3fg8EpuFollow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Pre-order Nicole's new book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
Oh boy, this episode is a juicy one. Comedian/actress Giulia Rozzi (Girl Code) speaks to Nicole about the struggles of being pregnant in quarantine, if she has any worries about raising a bi-racial child, and learning to not feel guilty about your privilege. Plus, Giulia teaches Nicole the best way to reach out to an old fling, and how to remain friends with an ex-husband.For more Nicole Byer, check out her other podcast - Newcomers! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode.Rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a dirty comment for a chance to have it read on-air.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Pre-order Nicole's new book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
Comedian Tawny Newsome (Space Force) chats with Nicole about learning how to do your own hair in quarantine, their crazy fashion phases, and the current state of "Zoom dating" along with the crazy logistics behind it.For more Nicole Byer, check out her new podcast - Newcomers! Her and Lauren Lapkus are watching and reviewing Star Wars films for the very first time. Subscribe today so you don't miss an episode.Rate Why Won't You Date Me 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a dirty comment for a chance to have it read on-air.Follow Nicole Byer:Tour Dates: nicolebyerwastaken.com/tourdatesTwitter: @nicolebyerInstagram: @nicolebyerFacebook: www.facebook.com/nicolebyercomedyBuy Merch: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/nicole-byer?ref_id=964Pre-order Nicole's new book: www.indiebound.org/book/9781524850746
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Comments (148)

Nae S.

You guys are speaking truth on this episode!! Dating is like the 5th dimension of Hell these days! 🙄

Sep 14th
Reply

TLS

This episode is so sitting around with friends in your 20s smoking weed and talking about life and the world; feeling super deep. Very deja vu.

Sep 9th
Reply

Ess Bee

Roxane Gay is always good value. Funny, insightful, intelligent. Excellent.

Sep 5th
Reply

Bosco's Bitch

am I going crazy or have we heard the story of her meeting her girlfriend before? did they rerecord this episode????

Sep 4th
Reply

Lindsey Giroux

I couldn't make it past the 3.5 minute mark with this one. The guest's attitude made it impossible to go any further.

Sep 2nd
Reply

Tasia

Oh no I like Mark Wahlberg...so he tried to murder a man so people say...at least he didn't molest anyone thats a plus right? (Crying inside because I love MW) wahhhhh Sort of how I felt when i found out about Cosby years ago!! Wahhh'

Aug 27th
Reply

Tasia

Shoot I don't have a dildo....but i do have a cucumber...hmmm cheaper! lol GROSS!! But Hilarious!!

Aug 27th
Reply

Pinkbunny Lasvegas

slavery isn't funny.... TF is this shit.

Aug 27th
Reply

Nae S.

👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Aug 25th
Reply

Nae S.

Awesome Episode! Gabby Guuurrrllll I love hearing this side of you! It would be LIT hanging out with you both! lol

Aug 25th
Reply (2)

Galacticlad

This gal is delusional. She cheated and she called him a piece of shit? What a self entitled garbage

Aug 22nd
Reply

Carissa Brown

Wow, Gabby... Just wow. What a wild experience. I would love to hear how you unlearned all that gaslighting. I can't imagine 3 years of dealing with that. Nicole, thank you for giving her the space to express herself completely.

Aug 21st
Reply

Carissa Brown

Yes to legit everything in this episode!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Aug 18th
Reply

Nae S.

Loved this episode!! You both had me cracking up! 🤣

Aug 18th
Reply

Sneaky Coll

I am in love with this podcast and hang on to every word! I would love to see a YouTube talk show as well. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Aug 16th
Reply

Tasia

That IS A.D.D when you can't "hear" when the radio is on even quietly. It's a lack of concentration. You can't focus on the conversation. LOL Everyone has a touch of either ADD or ADHD!! :)

Aug 14th
Reply

samantha chong

"he works at a building" Sidibe is hilarious!

Aug 14th
Reply

Tasia

Oh my God!! That is hilarious she said "and then the eggs come down the highway and stay in the cervix?" LOL

Aug 14th
Reply

Tasia

Oh no!! Ovum means eggs hahahahah

Aug 14th
Reply

Tasia

Amen about 90 day fiance! That was so intrusive. Now with all the shit going on with her!

Aug 14th
Reply
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