Safe Slut joined me to tell me all about her dating life as an HSV+ queen, shared her thoughts on disclosure, and gave us some insight into her first date rituals. Spoiler alert: an HSV diagnosis isn't going to end your sex life! In fact... it might make it even better. How Herpes Became A Sexual Boogeyman (Slate) Join Patreon at $11/month to get the complete interview here, as well as access to the archives of interviews with discussions ranging from how to find a sex positive therapist, to how to navigate your local kink scene, to the scientific origins of masochism. Oh yeah, and my only public recorded convo with Mr. Dune.  To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month!  Miss the Friday Q&As? They live on here & are totally free and public. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com  Go here for information on how to record a voice memo   Subscribe to the subby substack here. Twitter | @Lina.Dune | @askasub2.0 CREDITS Created, Hosted, Produced and Edited by Lina Dune With Additional Support from Mr. Dune Artwork by Kayleigh Denner Music by Dan Molad  

A sub wants to know how to bring forward feminine energy and suppress the masculine during aftercare. Lina’s response? Gender is fake, privilege is real, and pegging your Dom is a submissive act. How did we get there? Guess you’ll have to listen. To support the pod and engage in our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $5/month! http://www.patreon.com/askasub  Free & Public Friday Q&As: https://discord.gg/askasub  Conscious Kink Online Course: http://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink  The Endangered Celebrity Daddy (And The Pedro Pascalification Of My Mental Health): https://askasub.substack.com/p/the-endangered-celebrity-daddy  Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com  How To Record A Voice Memo: http://www.askasub.com/podcast   More on my breakup with Instagram: https://askasub.substack.com/p/my-last-abusive-relationship  Subscribe to the subby substack: https://askasub.substack.com  Twitter | @Lina.Dune | @askasub2.0 CREDITS Created, Hosted, Produced and Edited by Lina Dune With Additional Support from Mr. Dune Artwork by Kayleigh Denner Music by Dan Molad

Cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, we’re taking a walking tour through the heart of leather culture in the 1970’s - San Francisco’s South of Market neighborhood (home of Folsom Street) and the many bars, clubs, and bathhouses that made it famous. Check out my substack piece on the walking tour (which contains a link to download the PDF): https://askasub.substack.com/p/1970s-leather-culture  Free & Public Friday Q&As: https://discord.gg/askasub  Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com How to record a voice memo: http://www.askasub.com/podcast  More on my breakup with Instagram: https://askasub.substack.com/p/my-last-abusive-relationship To join our live Q&A with Safe Slut on 3/12, join Patreon starting at $5/month: https://www.patreon.com/askasub  Twitter | @Lina.Dune | @askasub2.0 CREDITS Created, Hosted, Produced and Edited by Lina Dune With Additional Support from Mr. Dune Artwork by Kayleigh Denner Music by Dan Molad

Today’s episode is all about feeling your feelings. One sub asks whether it’s possible to introduce kink to her partner in a non-sexual context, while another wants to know how to react in a subby way to conflict with their Dom.  Support the pod at http://www.patreon.com/askasub Free & Public Friday Q&As on Discord: https://discord.gg/askasub  Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com How To Record A Voice Memo: http://www.askasub.com/podcast  More on my breakup with Instagram: https://askasub.substack.com/p/my-last-abusive-relationship Subscribe to the subby substack: https://askasub.substack.com  

On this month's Deep Dive interview, Brat Whisperer Lola Jean joins me to talk all about how to find your inner brat and, more importantly, negotiate the conditions that will allow (controlled, joyful) chaos to reign. You are a cute puzzle!  Going patreon at $11/month to get the full hour-long interview here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/brat-motivations-79112905  Or join at $5/month to join us live for our next Deep Dive interview with @safeslut all about STI’s, safer sex, and her life as an HSV+ queen!  https://www.patreon.com/askasub  Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com More on my breakup with Instagram: https://askasub.substack.com/p/my-last-abusive-relationship Subscribe to the subby substack for free short form content: https://askasub.substack.com  Free & Public Friday Q&As: https://discord.gg/AvkZ9f6BtY  Follow Lola: Instagram | Twitter | Her Website 

Lina ponificates on curating kinky community beyond the algorithm, then stands at the crossroads with a listener who wants to go from book learning to street smarts. And finally, some thoughts on overthinking, and the perfectly nice orgasms it chases away. Submit questions for this podcast as voice memos to podcast@askasub.com Free & Pubic Friday Q&As: https://discord.gg/AvkZ9f6BtY  More on my breakup with Instagram: https://askasub.substack.com/p/my-last-abusive-relationship Subscribe to the subby substack for free short form content: https://askasub.substack.com  To join our live Q&A with Lola Jean all about Brats, join patreon starting at $5/month: https://www.patreon.com/askasub  Twitter | @Lina.Dune | @askasub2.0 CREDITS Created, Hosted, Produced and Edited by Lina Dune With Additional Support from Mr. Dune Artwork by Kayleigh Denner Music by Dan Molad

In our season finale, we wade into the waters of respect, romance, and all things mushy gushy. First, hear Lina’s thoughts on training collars and creating contracts – how to set up expectations, needs, and all the rice-kneeling moments in between, including a little peek into Lina’s accidental protocol misinterpretation at the start of her own dynamic! Next, Lina talks about something we don’t hear covered often – the romantic side of D/s dynamics and what happens if you fall in love with your Dom(me). Finally, Lina offers advice on how to kinkify a wedding and marriage as a whole. And make sure to stay tuned to the end for the big, juicy reveal y’all have been waiting for!    Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon to show your support for the show and to join the kinky party as we wait for season 2! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   Check out Voodoo’s Flower Power vibe at voodoo.toys and use promo code “ASKASUB30” for 30% off your entire online order!    Get 20% off Lina’s Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink    You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad  Art by Kayleigh Denner

This week, we cover all the basics of dating and finding kinky people to play with. First, Lina covers the FAQs of dating app profiles – what to do if you’re looking for your ideal Dom(me), how to signal to people that you’re kinky without screaming “I’M A SUB” (but also totally cool to do this too), and how to connect from there. Next, Lina offers tools and criteria to navigate how to safely transition from apps to IRL to explore your kinks. And finally, Lina serves up some radical advice while covering the dilemma of getting you someone who can do both – aka, be your Dom(me) but also be a compatible partner outside of a scene.    This episode is brought to you by Pure App, the shameless, sex-positive place to date! Visit https://puredating.app.link/jklrkuzrFlb for your dating needs!    Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad  Art by Kayleigh Denner

CW for the Episode: Assault–please skip to 16:14 to go straight to question 2.  Lina starts this week’s episode by talking about how trauma informs Kink and BDSM, and the healing aspect that can come along with it. But big spoiler alert, there is no magical cure for trauma. And that’s okay! In fact, your trauma doesn’t need to even be involved with your Kinkiness at all if you so choose. Next up, Lina covers what loneliness can look like in BDSM and the self-shaming tendencies we have towards figuring out our roles and desires–and provides validation in having likes and dislikes and how to address those needs as submissives. And finally, hear Lina wax on the poetics of Cucking and what it can bring to the Kinky table, especially as a potential bridge between monogamy and non. And what to do about that lil thing called jealousy and how best to address it in moving towards threesomes, cucking, and/or ENM together.  Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity: https://bookshop.org/a/14567/9780060753641 Ethical Slut: https://bookshop.org/a/14567/9780399579660 Dan Savage: https://www.thestranger.com/savage-love/2020/01/14/42559563/savage-love    Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   Get 20% off Lina’s Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink    You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad  Art by Kayleigh Denner

CW for the Episode: CNC–please skip to 13:50 to go straight to question 2. This week, Lina breaks down Consensual Non-Consent – what it is, where the fantasy comes from, and how to safely proceed in play while still feeling seen and taken care of. Her secret?Starting slow. Lina then pivots to BDSM collaring, how it has changed over time, what it means now, and what it signifies to you and your dynamic. Over at Ask a Sub HQ, we personally love collars so strap in for your options and permission to do whatever kind of collaring works for and empowers you. And finally, Lina addresses the dilemma of a 24/7 sub in an ethically non-monogamous relationship who wants to maintain their protocols and stay true to their Dom's wishes, but also meet the needs of their other partners. Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   Get 20% off Lina’s Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink    You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad  Art by Kayleigh Denner

This week on the table of sub wisdom is something a lot of subs historically have a past with – people pleasing. There is no magic solution, but Lina does her best to unpack it like the classic algebra problems that we definitely don’t miss from highschool (but can we all agree that sexy problem-solving would have made the class a whole lot more fun?) Like what if “X” was monogamy and “Y” was kink–how do we get to “Z”?? And how about if “X” is people pleasing, and “Z” is being a Good sub, what is the value of “Y?” Okay, maybe too far but Lina still gets to the bottom of why people pleasing isn’t healthy and how to try to shut it down, stay authentic to yourself, and go on to live your happy submissive life. And finally, Lina discusses what to do if you experience shaming from your friends and/or family about your kinky ways (no algebra here, we promise, just straight facts and support).  Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   Get 20% off Lina’s Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink    You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad  Art by Kayleigh Denner

This week, Lina takes on Society at Large! Hear her thoughts on how to navigate the social stigma around BDSM culture – especially turning those “oh, that’s not normal” comments into something more expansive and inclusive. Lina then digs into those shamey sub drop feels that society and culture have reinforced in our spongy brains and how to retrain your thoughts and be gentle with yourself in those moments. She’s also serving up a hot take on countering toxic positivity, especially in the sex-positive sodia media landscape. And finally, Lina reveals her secret of How to D/s Quietly! (Just kidding, there is no secret). Really though–cohabitating with adults and having a dynamic may seem tricky, but Lina gives her advice on how best go about this because spoiler alert, most people have sex and no matter what, you’re probably going to hear it–dynamic or not!     Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   Get 10% off your first order at Momotaro Apotheca with code “SUBPODCAST” - www.momotaroapotheca.com   Get 20% off Lina’s Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink    You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad  Art by Kayleigh Denner

This week, Lina goes straight into what it feels like to find a new Dom(me)–what it means to navigate the feels of frenzy and swooning, and is it possible to balance leaning in and not overextending yourself? (Spoiler alert: it is!) She also covers the basics of subspace, the power and security of Safe Words, what nonverbal Safe Words can look like in practice, and why the word “No” is so intense and scary sometimes. And finally, Lina yells from the top of the BDSM mountain that there is 👏🏻not👏🏻a👏🏻top👏🏻shortage! Kissing some frogs is just part of the process and that’s okay!   Your Brain On BDSM (Vice) Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   Get 50% off your first month of Isabella Frappier’s Eros Workshop Membership with code ASKASUBEROS at https://isabella-frappier.teachable.com/p/eros-workshops-membership   Get 20% off Lina’s Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink    You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad  Art by Kayleigh Denner

On this week’s episode, Lina tackles the foundational questions of who are Dom(me)s? What do they get out of D/s, and how does trauma play into everything? What about Fake Doms? What are they and how does one *not* be a Fake Dom–especially on dating apps? And finally, Lina addresses the age old question: can you be a feminist *and* a submissive? 💖   Let us be the part of society that tells you your kinks are okay, your wants are valid and they can be so, so much fun!   Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours by emailing a voice memo to podcast@askasub.com - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub    Get 20% off Lina’s Conscious Kink course with code PODCAST at checkout https://www.askasub.com/conscious-kink    To learn more about the Armie Hammer Sitch– https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/armie-hammer-cannibal-jokes-hide-abuse-allegations   You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad 

In today’s episode Lina goes in deep on what aftercare is and how to incorporate it with all kinds of people and all kinds of sex. She also covers some ways to build and structure a dynamic from scratch – in particular punishment, funishment, and the glory of being a Brat. Finally, Lina discusses the spectrum between vanilla and kink relationships and how to adapt and grow within those rainbow shades of intimacy 💖   Let's be the part of society that tells you your kinks are okay, your wants are valid and they can be so, so much fun!   Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit yours over at www.askasub.com/podcast - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Still thirsty for community? Join us on the Ask a Sub Patreon and have access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter!    Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann  | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad

​​Ready to demystify kink and head out into the world? In this episode, Lina talks about her own history with submission and how she decided 24/7 lifestyle D/s was for her. What do you do if you know you're kinky but not sure what comes next? What about that important thing called aftercare? Lina goes over the basics, the nuances of orgasm control, and also how to enter the dating world as a third looking for respectful, fulfilling and fun play. 💖   Let us be the part of society that tells you your kinks are okay, your wants are valid and they can be so, so much fun!   Have a question about BDSM, sex, dating, relationships, Dom/sub dynamics, and anything else you’d like to ask Lina? Submit your q’s at www.askasub.com/podcast - there is no question too bizarre or too basic!   Get 10% off your first order at Momotaro Apotheca with code “SUBPODCAST” - www.momotaroapotheca.com   Still thirsty for community? Join us on Patreon and get access to the most wholesome and kinky discord community! Check it out over at www.patreon.com/askasub   You can follow Lina over at @askasub on both Instagram and Twitter   Make sure to subscribe, drop us a 5-star rating, and tell all your filthy friends about the show!   Host, Producer - Lina Dune | Producer, Editor - Stella Hartmann | Producer, Research - Caroline Stephens | Music - Dan Molad Artwork - Kayleigh Denner

New weekly episodes of ask a sub coming 2/17. Send your voice memo questions, comments, prompts, anecdotes and success stories to podcast@askasub.com <3

Masculinity and Dominance - some say they cannot peacefully coexist. But the men and masc-identifying folks of the ask a sub discord community say different. These are their voices on a deeply important and under-discussed topic. Together let's explore the ways Dominance can transform toxic masculinty into mindful masculinity, and bring men and masculine people deep healing and joy. Join Patreon here, or at patreon.com/askasub. Once we hit 2K subscribers the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! Sign up for patreon at http://www.patreon.com/askasub   To access the full length recording of this episode go here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/deep-dive-healed-72468088

Every wondered how to find a good therapist? And actually get your needs met by said therapist? What about sleeping arrangements for your 4 person polycule? Non-Monogamous therapist Rachel Wright has your back in this lovely interview. Join Patreon here, or at patreon.com/askasub. Once we hit 2K subscribers the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! Our next Deep Dive with Gaby Herstik all about sacred sex and witchcraft is on 10/20 at 5PT. Join Patreon at $5/month to listen live, and at $11/month to get the recording.  Sign up for patreon at http://www.patreon.com/askasub   To access the full length recording of this episode go here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/deep-dive-how-to-70767312  Socials / Links: https://www.instagram.com/thewright_rachel/  https://twitter.com/Thewrightrachel  Rachel also hosts donation based non-monogamy support groups which can be found here: https://rachelwrightnyc.lpages.co/nm-support-group-landing-page/ 

It's official! Once we hit 2K subscribers on Patreon the Ask A Sub podcast is coming back full force! In the meantime I want to share a teaser of a series I'm doing for Patreon members called DEEP DIVE.  Deep Dive is a monthy series where I'll bring you deep conversations with luminaries in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, always with the focus of asking them educated, insider questions about their work. Not only are these interviews fun and informational, but with your support we're creating an oral history of kink at this moment in time. Exciting stuff! Pain is a sensation that is heavily stigmatized in our culture. It can be hard to understand why masochists do what they (we) do when you're working from that cultural understanding alone. Which is why I brought in Leigh Cowart, science reporter and self-proclaimed masochist, to explain to us not only why humans pursue pain on purpose, but how it all works in your brain and body. And they have all the answers, having written one of my favorite books on a kink-related topic, Hurts So Good: The Science And Culture Of Pain On Purpose. As as we put it in the interview, we're all just goopy primates trying to have some fun in our meat sacks. So cue up this interview and let the goop between your ears understand a little bit more about itself :) Sign up for patreon at http://www.patreon.com/askasub   To access the full length recording of this episode go here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/deep-dive-all-of-69147471 Socials / Links: http://www.instagram.com/voraciousbrain http://www.twitter.com/voraciousbrain