Welcome to Indulgence Gospel After Dark!

We are Corinne Fay and Virginia Sole-Smith, and this month we’re discussing… Things Thin People Say. 👀

The list includes:

⭐️ The most bananas comment about swimsuit shopping

⭐️ That thing where they think their boyfriend’s clothes will fit you

⭐️ How Caroline Chambers’ thin privilege shows up

⭐️ Our thoughts on Haley Nahman’s sugar addict essay.

⭐️ And more!

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Is weight loss surgery the new Ozempic?

Does Dr. Becky have a privilege problem?

Is Kids Eat In Color anti-diet?

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Episode 204 Transcript

Corinne

So, today we’re going to talk about the fatphobic things that people say without realizing it. And I think any fat person you talk to probably has an example of this.

Virginia

Or a dozen examples of this.

Corinne

Or a dozen examples of this.

We asked Burnt Toast readers to share stories. And we’re going to talk about a couple of examples that we stumbled across recently…

Virginia

On the Internet.

Corinne

In the course of our jobs.

Virginia

We are going to talk about Caroline Chambers. We are going to talk about Haley Nahman. We’re going to get into some stuff that’s been happening with the thin folks.

Obviously, since I just mentioned some high profile people, you might think this is going to be a really juicy, gossipy episode. That’s not really the goal here.

I think of this as more an opportunity to have some moments of catharsis. As fat folks, we so often have to endure these comments, which can be unintentional but still really harmful. And that’s something we all live with. So it’s just good sometimes to list them and be like… Yep. That happened.

And hopefully, this is instructive for thin listeners. If you’re listening to this podcast, I assume it’s because you are interested in divesting from diet culture. You are interested in unlearning anti-fatness. And that is not always easy or comfortable work. Sometimes we have to be willing to look at ourselves. You might realize, “wow, I did say a not cool thing, and that was my thin privilege.” And I hope the place you go with that is: I didn’t even realize it was harmful. But now I know, so how can I show up as a better ally?

Corinne

I also think a good thing to mention about that is that, as fat people, we experience thin people making these type of comments. But as humans, we also make these types of comments about other groups of people. I’m sure I’ve made an offhanded comment that was harmful to someone who’s Black, or to someone with kids. You know?

Virginia

You offend me all the time, as a person with kids.

Corinne

I am so sorry. I try not to. I love kids.

Virginia

You have literally never said anything offensive about children.

Corinne

Well, I just can imagine—we don’t always have other people’s sensitivities in mind.

Virginia

Right. The whole thing about privilege is it makes you unaware of other experiences. This is why we have to look at it.

Corinne

So anyone who does this is not bad or evil. It’s a normal part of life and still worth talking about.

Virginia

OK, soI think I first sent you the Caroline Chambers piece we’re going to chat about a few weeks ago. She wrote about what she was wearing during her fourth pregnancy. It’s called Getting Dressed Is Kind of Hard Right Now, and that is very relatable. Getting dressed during pregnancy is very hard, no quibbles with that.

Corinne

I was going to pretend that I had just organically stumbled across this article about getting dressed while pregnant, Virginia.

Virginia

How would you?

Corinne

I was going to be like, “I write about clothes… Caroline Chambers, of whom I’m a fan. I own her cookbook.”

Virginia

All true. But I am the one who was like, “Oh, did you see that piece?” Because there were a few comments in it that that made me pause.

Corinne

The comment that made me pause—which I then quickly highlighted and restacked—was Caroline saying, “I think loose dresses like this polo number”—with a link to the dress— “are really cute while pregnant, until your stomach extends past your boobs, and then it starts to look like you’re wearing a circus tent. I’ve reached circus tense status.”

Virginia

And you said, “here to tell you that it is, in fact, cute to wear loose dresses when your stomach extends past your boobs, whether you’re pregnant or not.” Which I support 100 percent.

Corinne

I stand by that.

Virginia

This is just a perfect example of these kinds of comments. When you are a thin person and you gain weight during pregnancy, it’s a disorienting experience. Your body feels very unfamiliar. I mean, everybody’s body feels unfamiliar during pregnancy, but this aspect is disorienting. Suddenly, your shape is more similar to a shape you have been told is not desirable, and so you have to reckon with that. And I don’t want to say what her intention was, but I read this and thought, “She’s saying this, and she doesn’t know what she’s saying.” Caroline Chambers probably hasn’t considered how many people in the world have stomachs that extend past boobs. That’s a pretty common way to have a body regardless of pregnancy status.

Corinne

Yeah, I think it was one of those kind of slightly self-effacing comments that you don’t realize can be hurtful. You think you’re critiquing yourself, but… there’s actually a lot of other people that fall into that category.

Virginia

I think we’re going to see this as a recurring theme. One of the most common ways thin people display their anti-fatness is by saying something critical about themselves, without realizing they’ve just described every fat person’s regular body.

Corinne

I do also want to say that I posted this on the Substack social media, and Caroline Chambers saw it and responded to it and edited the post and was apologetic.

Virginia

Props for that. She wrote, “I’m sorry that this clearly came off in a way I didn’t mean it to. I love your Substack, and I did not mean this to be a global commentary. I’ll do better.”

Yeah, we want people to be doing better. Also, read Big Undies, everyone. Corinne’s Substack is great, and I’m glad Caroline knows that.

Corinne

Yeah, there’s definitely a lot on my Substack about wearing loose clothing.

Virginia

Your recent loose clothing roundup definitely inspired me to do some shopping for big loose clothing. And it’s entirely possible I will be mistaken for pregnant in those outfits, and that’s fine. I will be very cute.

Another high profile one we wanted to chat about is a recent piece by Haley Nahman. The essay is called Making Bad Decisions On Purpose. This one is really interesting because there is a