DiscoverBlack Girls Heal#319: How to Put Yourself First Pt. 1
#319: How to Put Yourself First Pt. 1

#319: How to Put Yourself First Pt. 1

Update: 2026-01-07
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The Black Girl Tale Podcast focuses on the critical importance of self-prioritization and self-care as the foundation for healing, resolving trauma, and building healthy relationships. It highlights that the relationship with oneself is the most crucial, impacting all other areas of life. The podcast explores various domains of self-care, including mental, physical, financial, sexual, and spiritual health, emphasizing their interconnectedness. It suggests that focusing inward empowers individuals to navigate relationship challenges, foster clarity, and enhance self-worth. Practical advice is offered through elements like cultivating a safe inner circle, engaging in hobbies for pleasure, and establishing beneficial morning and evening routines to support nervous system regulation and overall well-being. A free resource, the "Loved Woman" checklist, is available to guide listeners in their self-prioritization journey.

Outlines

00:00:00
The Foundation of Healing: Prioritizing Yourself

This podcast introduces its focus on healing, intimacy disorders, trauma resolution, and building healthy relationships by emphasizing the paramount importance of prioritizing oneself. It explores various domains of self-care—mental, physical, financial, sexual, and spiritual—and how self-focus is the solution to relationship challenges, fostering empowerment and clarity.

00:06:02
Practical Steps for Self-Care and Well-being

This section delves into actionable strategies for self-care and healing, including cultivating a safe inner circle for emotional support, engaging in hobbies for pleasure and inner child healing, establishing an evening wind-down routine for nervous system balance, and creating a gentle morning startup routine to set intentions and ground oneself.

Keywords

Self-worth


The inherent value and importance a person places on themselves. It influences self-esteem, confidence, and how individuals approach relationships and life challenges. Cultivating self-worth is crucial for personal growth and well-being.

Trauma Specialist


A professional trained to help individuals process and heal from traumatic experiences. They utilize specific therapeutic techniques to address the psychological and emotional impact of trauma.

Intimacy Disorders


Conditions affecting a person's ability to form or maintain close, meaningful relationships. These can manifest as fear of intimacy, emotional unavailability, or difficulties with vulnerability.

Unhealthy Patterns


Recurring behaviors or thought processes that are detrimental to an individual's well-being and relationships. Identifying and breaking these patterns is key to personal growth and healing.

Self-Care


Intentional actions taken to care for one's physical, mental, and emotional health. It encompasses a wide range of activities aimed at promoting well-being and preventing burnout.

Inner Child


The childlike aspect of an individual's personality, representing their early experiences, emotions, and needs. Healing the inner child involves acknowledging and nurturing these past experiences.

Nervous System Regulation


The process of managing and balancing the body's stress response. It involves techniques to calm the fight-or-flight response and promote a state of rest and relaxation, crucial for trauma healing.

Morning Routine


A set of activities performed consistently upon waking to start the day. Effective morning routines can enhance productivity, reduce stress, and set a positive tone for the day.

Evening Wind-Down Routine


A sequence of calming activities performed before sleep to prepare the body and mind for rest. This routine aids in improving sleep quality and promoting relaxation.

Q&A

  • What is the main purpose of the Black Girl Tale Podcast?

    The Black Girl Tale Podcast aims to guide listeners through healing, addressing intimacy disorders, resolving trauma, and building healthy relationships, starting with oneself and then extending to others.

  • Why is prioritizing oneself considered the most important relationship?

    How we feel about, treat, and give to ourselves directly influences every aspect of our lives. Recognizing this relationship as paramount is key to overall well-being and success in other areas.

  • What are the different domains of health discussed in the podcast?

    The podcast mentions mental health, physical health, financial health, sexual health, and spiritual health as crucial domains for self-care and overall well-being.

  • How can focusing on oneself help in difficult relationships?

    Prioritizing yourself fosters empowerment and clarity, allowing you to re-evaluate relationship dynamics, understand your needs, and communicate them effectively, leading to healthier interactions.

  • What is the "Loved Woman" checklist and how can it be accessed?

    The "Loved Woman" checklist is a free resource designed to help individuals prioritize themselves. It can be downloaded from blackgirlsheal.org/checklist.

  • What defines a "safe inner circle" according to the podcast?

    A safe inner circle consists of people who make you feel secure, can be trusted with your innermost thoughts, offer genuine support, and genuinely enjoy your company, fostering mutual respect and connection.

  • Why is having hobbies not connected to one's vocation important for healing?

    Engaging in hobbies for pure pleasure helps heal the inner child, reconnects individuals with their sense of play, and is vital for nervous system regulation and overall emotional well-being.

  • What is the significance of an evening wind-down routine?

    An evening wind-down routine is essential for nervous system balance, physical restoration, and preparing the body for restful sleep, ultimately contributing to a more balanced and productive day.

  • What is the core principle behind a healthy morning startup routine?

    A healthy morning routine should be a gentle way to greet the day and oneself, focusing on grounding and intention-setting rather than regimented tasks that can feel like work or pressure.

Show Notes

In this episode, I dive into the foundational steps of learning how to truly put yourself first without guilt, fear, or feeling like you’re letting others down.


Resources mentioned:

The Loved Woman Checklist: https://blackgirlsheal.org/checklist

The BGH Method: https://blackgirlsheal.org/method


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#319: How to Put Yourself First Pt. 1

#319: How to Put Yourself First Pt. 1

Shena Lashey