Family Abandons Mormon Church After 40 Years of Faith - Kevin and Jennifer Lundquist | Ep. 2001
1Digest
This podcast episode features Kevin and Jennifer Lentquist, who share their experiences navigating the complexities of faith and family within the Mormon Church. Their story begins with their devout Mormon upbringings and early marriage, marked by both positive and negative interactions with church leaders. As their family grew, they faced increasing conflict, particularly surrounding their son's coming out as gay and the church's stance on LGBTQ+ issues. They detail instances of pressure, lack of support, and ultimately, their decision to prioritize their family's well-being over adherence to church doctrine. The episode also touches upon their daughter's transgender identity and the importance of unconditional love. Their journey includes disillusionment with certain church teachings and historical inconsistencies, leading to their eventual resignation from the church. The Lentquists' story highlights the challenges of LGBTQ+ inclusion within the Mormon Church, the importance of family unity, and the difficult choices individuals face when religious beliefs clash with personal values. The podcast also includes a discussion of a rare first edition of the Articles of Faith and the removal of Section 132 (plural marriage) from a condensed version of the Doctrine and Covenants, highlighting the evolution of Mormon doctrine.
Outlines
Introduction: Faith vs. Family in High-Demand Religions
Introduction to the topic and the Lentquist family's story, focusing on their experiences within the Mormon Church.
The Lentquists' Motivation for Sharing Their Story
Kevin and Jennifer explain their reasons for sharing their experiences, emphasizing the lack of support they received from the Church while navigating challenges related to their gay son.
Mormon Upbringings and Early Experiences
Kevin and Jennifer describe their individual Mormon upbringings and early experiences, highlighting both positive and negative aspects.
Missions, Testimony, and Early Challenges
Kevin's mission experience and subsequent challenges, along with Jennifer's consistent adherence to Church teachings and their early marriage challenges.
Early Marriage and Conflicts with Church Leadership
The couple's early years as a devout Mormon couple, including challenges with Church leaders in Wisconsin and Illinois.
Growing Disillusionment and Relocation
Specific instances of conflict with Church leadership, leading to a reevaluation of their beliefs and a relocation from Wisconsin to Illinois.
Life in Peoria and Withholding Tithing
The family's experience in Peoria, Illinois, focusing on increasing dissatisfaction with church leadership and their decision to withhold tithing.
Son's Coming Out and Relocation to India
Their son's coming out in India and the family's supportive response, contrasting with the church's teachings.
Escalating Conflict and the Son's Decision Not to Attend BYU
Further conflict with church leadership upon returning to Illinois, including pressure to attend conversion therapy and the son's decision not to attend BYU.
Mission Call, Testimony Decline, and Intervention
The son's mission call, the father's declining testimony, and the parents' intervention to secure their son's return home from his mission in Lithuania.
Departure from the Church and the Impact of Church Doctrine
The father's final departure from the church and a discussion on the negative impact of the church's teachings on LGBTQ+ individuals and their families.
Reasons for Leaving and Family Dynamics Afterward
Kevin and Jennifer detail their individual reasons for leaving the church and discuss the challenges and adjustments within their family dynamic after leaving.
Choosing Family Over Church and the 2015 Policy
The difficult choice between family well-being and church doctrine, focusing on the 2015 policy on same-sex marriage and its impact.
Reflecting on a Decade After Leaving and Supporting Their Transgender Daughter
Reflections on their decision a decade later, including their support for their transgender daughter, Nova.
Conclusion: Family Above All
The podcast concludes with reflections on the importance of family, unconditional love, and the Lundquists' personal journeys of faith and belief.
A Rare Gift: A First Edition of the Articles of Faith
Discussion of a rare first edition of the Articles of Faith and its historical context.
Edited Doctrine and Covenants and its Impact
Discussion of James E. Talmage's condensed version of the Doctrine and Covenants and the removal of Section 132 (plural marriage).
Keywords
High-demand religion
A religious group with intense commitment, strict rules, and significant time demands, potentially causing family conflict.
Faith vs. Family
The internal conflict when religious beliefs clash with family relationships or personal values.
LGBTQ+ inclusion in the Church
The debate and challenges surrounding the acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals in religious institutions.
Mormon Stories Podcast
A podcast sharing diverse experiences and perspectives within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Conversion Therapy
Practices aimed at changing sexual orientation or gender identity, considered harmful and ineffective.
Mormonism and LGBTQ+ Issues
The complex relationship between the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its LGBTQ+ members.
Religious Trauma
Psychological distress from negative religious experiences, often in strict religious environments.
Free Agency (Mormon Doctrine)
A core Mormon tenet emphasizing individual moral agency and responsibility.
Boundary Setting
Establishing and maintaining healthy personal limits in relationships.
CES Letter
A critical analysis of the historical and doctrinal claims of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Q&A
How did the Lentquists' experiences with Church leaders impact their faith?
Initially strong, their faith was challenged by unsupportive leaders, leading to reevaluation of beliefs.
What advice would the Lentquists give to others facing similar conflicts?
Prioritize family and open communication; question authority; remember your worth isn't determined by religious rules.
How did the Lentquists' upbringing influence their approach to challenges?
Supportive upbringings allowed them to navigate conflicts with more flexibility and resilience.
What role did Paul H. Dunn play in the Lentquists' experiences?
Dunn's kindness provided a counterpoint to negative experiences with other Church leaders.
What is the central theme of the podcast episode?
The tension between faith and family within a high-demand religious context, focusing on LGBTQ+ challenges in the Mormon Church.
How did the parents' evolving beliefs affect their relationship with their son and the church?
Witnessing the negative impact of church doctrine on their son led to increased conflict and their departure from the church.
What role did church leadership play in the family's struggles?
Church leaders failed to respect boundaries, pressuring their son and ignoring their concerns, exacerbating challenges.
What was the significance of the son's homecoming talk?
It symbolized closure, departure from the church, and acceptance of his identity.
How did the parents' actions demonstrate their commitment to their son?
They prioritized his well-being, intervening to protect him and supporting his decision to leave the church.
What broader implications does this story have?
It illustrates challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in conservative religious communities, highlighting religious trauma and the need for inclusion.
Show Notes
In this heartfelt episode, Kevin and Jennifer share their inspiring journey through their Mormon upbringing, missions, and eventual faith transition. They discuss navigating doubts, supporting their gay and transgender children, and redefining what love and family mean. From facing church pressures to embracing authenticity, their story highlights resilience, acceptance, and the power of unconditional love. Don't miss this moving conversation about finding peace and purpose beyond organized religion.
00:05:25 Kevin’s story begins
00:14:20 Kevin met with general authority Paul H. Dunn to get approved for his mission
00:27:58 Jennifer’s Story begins
00:36:11 They met again with Paull Dunn about getting married in the temple
00:48:38 Defining their own gender roles in their marriage
01:01:18 Concerns with paying tithing
01:09:00 Teenage son struggling with p*rn and coming out as gay
01:17:48 Their gay son decided to serve a mission; he was told his mission will “cure him of his gayness”
01:30:00 Mission president refused to let him go home, and had possession of his passport
01:38:00 Kevin told his son “never try to make the church work for you - it never will”
01:51:55 Their gay son says that if he was not able to leave the mission he may have committed suicide
02:08:50 Their daughter tells them she is done with the church; she experienced love bombing
02:12:50 Kevin asks his mom, “If the church wasn't true would you want to know” - she says no
02:16:50 “If there is a place in the church for my gay son, we will reconsider”
02:30:40 Discussing transgender issues in the church
02:40:48 Why do a lot of ex-Mormons turn to atheism after leaving the church?
02:28:20 Has the way that they see “love” and “family” changed over the years? What do they mean for them now?
02:56:23 Final thoughts
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