Gold is back in the headlines, but should it be in your portfolio? Don and Tom take a fresh (and frequently hilarious) look at the shiny metal that never seems to deliver. From Fort Knox to Costco’s gold bar rush, they trace gold’s lackluster long-term returns and its overhyped reputation as a hedge. They break down why physical gold fails as an investment, why GLD is better (but still meh), and why long-term investors might already have enough exposure through diversified funds. Plus: a Medicare premium surprise fix, the case of the copper penny, and a brief but loud murder of crows.

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  0:04  Gilded White House jokes lead into a serious look at gold


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  1:00  Don and Tom reunite—same page, same side, same skepticism on gold


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  1:57  Yahoo Finance: gold’s biggest quarter since 1986


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  2:34  Gold’s ancient history and the Second Boer War detour


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  3:48  What’s a hedge, really? Gold vs. inflation


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  4:21  15-year performance: gold vs. S&P 500


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  5:40  1980 to 2024: gold’s long climb back to break even


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  7:10  110 years of gold prices—brief spikes, long plateaus


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  8:54  The emotional allure of physical gold (and why it’s irrational)


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  9:44  Physical gold: storage, insurance, and Armageddon prep


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  11:10  GLD: a better, but still limited, gold investment


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  12:49  Gold’s chart pattern: flat, spike, crash, repeat


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  13:26  Why gold isn’t a real investment—it doesn’t grow


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  14:16  Gold mining stocks as an indirect investment


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  15:02  Surprise! Taiwan Semi uses gold in chip production


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  15:34  Crypto vs. gold: at least gold is pretty


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  16:07  Atomic number nerdiness and family science failures


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  16:39  Q&A: Will one-year income spike raise Part B premiums?


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  18:06  IRMAA form and exceptions for life-changing events


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  20:02  Medicare Part B premium ranges and adjustments


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  21:10  Listener Perry wonders: if pennies go away, can we melt them?


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  22:34  Today's pennies: mostly zinc, not a copper mine in your jar


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  23:56  Will the penny ever die? Bureaucratic inertia says no


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  24:14  DIY penny production? Just don’t.


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  25:16  Podcast etymology: Apple vs. The Guardian debate


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  26:51  Outro chaos: crows, jokes, and how to ask your questions

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