The vibration began in Jesus' pocket
It wouldn't normally be a problem
but Jesus was in the middle of a live stream
with his iPhone connected to his AirPods

Unfortunately, there was a bug in the software
which sent the vibrating and buzzing
over the top of his audible address
to millions of his fans and followers

Meanwhile, Kanye had joined the room
and was also live on the voice channel
along with Taylor Swift, who was already there
She's always been a big fan of Jesus

The buzzing didn't stop
Indeed, it only got louder across the airwaves
awakening in Kanye a certain sense of artistic absurdism
He began to repeat the phrase 'doo doo dum dum?'
The pitch went up at the end like that
apparently signifying a question
He kept saying it, over and over
while the buzzing continued
'doo doo dum dum?'

Taylor started giggling
and whispered a question to Jesus
with imitation tears
'Jesus, what are you trying to say to us?'
Jesus knew that this entire live stream
was compromised
He couldn't work out how to stop the buzzing
which was still growing louder
And Kanye continued, 'doo doo dum dum?'
Jesus replied to Taylor with as much authority as he could manage
aided by turning up the reverb on his console 'I don't know'

The words echoed around the globe
For some followers this was all too much
and they tuned out
Others waited
to see what would happen next
'doo doo dum dum?'

Thousands of trolls were now typing into the live chat window
insensitive comments and hurtful remarks
however true, difficult to read
for the small number of true followers left
But none of this had any effect on Jesus
He had removed his headphones
and was no longer listening, to anyone
He's been missing ever since