Lost My Pentecostal Faith Studying Mormonism - Anna Schreyer and the Assemblies of God | Ep. 1993
Digest
This podcast features Ana Shryer, a never-Mormon raised in a Pentecostal family in Utah, who shares her life story and faith deconstruction. She details the origins and beliefs of Pentecostalism, specifically within the Assemblies of God (AG) denomination, contrasting them with Mormonism. Her family's mission to convert Mormons in Utah is discussed, along with their beliefs about divine healing and spiritual warfare. Ana recounts her childhood cancer diagnosis and the faith-based approach to treatment. She describes her upbringing, emphasizing the close-knit Pentecostal community and the influence of prophetic words and her "spiritual father." The podcast explores her social experiences in a predominantly Mormon community, the challenges of maintaining friendships, and her transition to public school. Key theological differences between Pentecostalism and Mormonism are highlighted, including beliefs about the Trinity, the nature of Jesus, and additional scriptures. Ana shares pivotal moments of faith and doubt, including her experiences speaking in tongues and the cultural pressure surrounding it. A significant portion of the podcast focuses on Ana's eventual deconstruction of faith, triggered by factors such as the documentary "Going Clear," Bart Ehrman's work, and personal experiences in Mozambique. She describes the emotional and practical challenges of leaving her faith community, including the loss of community, intense grief, and the difficulty of communicating with her family. The podcast concludes with Ana reflecting on her healing process, the importance of finding support, and the role of online communities for those leaving high-demand religions.
Outlines
Introduction: Ana Shryer's Faith Journey
Introduction to Ana Shryer, a never-Mormon raised Pentecostal in Utah, and a preview of her faith journey, experiences growing up in Utah, and the comparison of Pentecostal and Mormon beliefs.
Pentecostalism's Origins and Development
Details the origins and development of Pentecostalism, tracing its history from Charles Parham and the Azusa Street Revival to the Assemblies of God.
Ana's Family, Utah, and Missionary Goals
Describes Ana's family's Pentecostal background, their move to Utah to establish a church aiming to convert Mormons, and their Pentecostal views on Mormonism.
Comparing Pentecostal and Mormon Doctrines
Compares Pentecostal and Mormon doctrines concerning the Trinity, the nature of God, spiritual gifts, healing, and interpretations of scripture.
Ana's Life in Utah: Community and Cancer
Shares Ana's experiences growing up in a Utah Pentecostal community, including the close-knit nature of the church, its influence on her life, and her childhood cancer diagnosis and spiritual experiences surrounding her illness and recovery.
Demons, Spiritual Warfare, and Early Life Influences
Discusses beliefs about demons and spiritual warfare, sharing personal experiences and how these beliefs shaped her childhood, including the influence of her parents' faith and the instilled sense of exceptionalism.
Religious Differences, Social Dynamics, and Public School
Recounts incidents highlighting religious differences and social dynamics, including a prejudiced view of Mormons and the family's decision to move Ana to public school, emphasizing the significant shift in her social and religious environment.
Mormonism vs. Mainstream Christianity: Theological Differences
Focuses on key theological differences between Mormonism and mainstream Christianity, explaining why many mainstream Christians don't consider Mormons to be Christians.
Childhood Faith, Obedience, and Early Religious Experiences
Reflects on her childhood faith, early "sinner's prayer," baptism, and behavioral markers of her devout AG upbringing, including modesty standards.
Prophets, Prophetic Experiences, and the Mozambique Narrative
Delves into the concept of prophets within the AG context, contrasting it with the Mormon understanding, and recounts how she adopted the narrative of a missionary's call to Mozambique.
Adolescence, Friendships, and Social Exclusion
Discusses social experiences as a teenage AG girl in Utah, including challenges of maintaining friendships with Mormon peers and the eventual shift towards friendships outside religious communities.
Speaking in Tongues, Meditative States, and Imposter Syndrome
Concludes with Ana's experience of speaking in tongues, highlighting the cultural pressure and eventual realization that it had become a habitual response. Explores feelings of imposter syndrome and self-deception in faith.
Childhood Conditioning, Religious Identity, and Early Aspirations
Connects experiences to childhood conditioning, emphasizing parental influence, seeking approval, and pressure to maintain a specific religious identity; recounts plans at age 18, focusing on missionary work in Mozambique.
First Job, Loss of Innocence, and Religious Discipline
Discusses her first job, a subsequent sexual encounter, ensuing disciplinary actions, and intense questioning from church leaders.
Shame, Public Humiliation, and Discovering Mormon Stories
Compares her experience to public humiliation, unexpected disciplinary actions from the church, and discovering Mormon Stories and her subsequent work for the Kingston clan.
Working for the Kingstons, Fraud Scandal, and Mozambique Mission
Details experiences working for the Kingstons, unawareness of the fraud, observations of the group's practices, and missionary experiences in Mozambique, intensification of religious beliefs, and development of scrupulousity.
Early Missionary Experiences, Disillusionment, and "Going Clear"
Describes initial missionary zeal, subsequent disappointment, and the influence of the documentary "Going Clear" on her perspective.
Faith Deconstruction: Doubts and Unraveling
Details the gradual unraveling of her faith, citing inconsistencies in her experiences and a growing sense of unease with the demands of her religious life.
Bart Ehrman's Influence, Further Deconstruction, and Moving to Tennessee
Discusses listening to Bart Ehrman's podcast, which further challenged her understanding of the Bible's historicity, leading to a deeper questioning of her beliefs and experiences; describes her move to Tennessee and a new church experience.
Leaving the Tennessee Church, Consequences, and Discovering a False Prophet
Details her difficult departure from the Tennessee church, including a sermon attacking her reasons for leaving and subsequent job loss; describes discovering a fabricated prophetic word, leading to complete faith loss.
Processing the Loss, Rebuilding Life, and Leaving Charismatic Christianity
Discusses the emotional and practical challenges of her post-faith life, including the emotional toll of her deconstruction and the difficulties of rebuilding her life after leaving her faith community; describes leaving charismatic Christianity.
Grief, Loss, Healing, and Finding Joy and Community
Identifies her primary losses, explains the difficulty of communicating with her family, shares her methods of grieving, discusses overcoming spiritual bypassing, and finding joy and community.
Online Communities, Reflection, and Healing Through Sharing
Shifts to online communities for ex-charismatics, reflects on the healing power of sharing her story, and acknowledges the importance of creating a space for others to find support and understanding.
Keywords
Pentecostalism
A branch of Protestant Christianity emphasizing spiritual gifts like speaking in tongues, divine healing, and prophecy.
Assemblies of God
One of the largest Pentecostal denominations, known for its emphasis on biblical literalism and the experience of the Holy Spirit.
Mormonism
A branch of Christianity with unique beliefs about Jesus Christ, salvation, and the nature of God.
Glossolalia
The practice of speaking in tongues.
Divine Healing
The belief that God can heal physical ailments through prayer and faith.
Cognitive Dissonance
The mental discomfort experienced by holding conflicting beliefs or values.
Prophetic Word
A message believed to be divinely inspired.
Imposter Syndrome
Feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy despite external evidence of success.
Religious Trauma
Psychological harm resulting from religious experiences.
High-Demand Religion
Religious groups characterized by intense demands on members' time, resources, and loyalty.
Q&A
What are the key differences between Pentecostal and Mormon beliefs regarding the nature of God and Jesus?
Pentecostals believe Jesus is eternally God, while Mormons believe Jesus was created and became a god.
How did Ana's family's faith influence their response to her cancer diagnosis?
They combined medical treatment with fervent prayer and sought divine intervention.
What role did the Mormon Stories podcast play in Ana's faith journey?
It exposed her to diverse perspectives, prompting her to examine her own beliefs.
How did Ana's family's experience in Utah shape their understanding of the supernatural?
Living in Utah exposed them to what they perceived as intense spiritual warfare.
What are some of the common misconceptions about Pentecostalism?
It's often stereotyped as homogenous, but it encompasses diverse beliefs and practices.
How did the speaker's upbringing in a devout AG family shape her worldview and understanding of faith?
It instilled a strong belief in God and Jesus, emphasizing an experiential approach to faith.
What were the key theological differences between the speaker's AG faith and Mormonism?
Differences centered on the Trinity, the nature of Jesus, and acceptance of additional scriptures.
How did the speaker's experiences with emotional expression and prophetic words influence her faith journey?
Emotional responses were interpreted as signs of God's presence, reinforcing her beliefs; prophetic words shaped her identity and life choices.
What were the social challenges faced by the speaker as a result of her religious background?
She experienced social exclusion and prejudice from Mormon peers due to her strong AG faith.
How did your childhood experiences shape your later religious beliefs and actions?
Upbringing within a charismatic Christian family, coupled with parental expectations and a desire for approval, significantly influenced their intense pursuit of religious experiences.
Show Notes
Anna shares her personal journey growing up as a Pentecostal Charismatic in Utah, detailing her experiences within the Assemblies of God (AG) church, and the struggles and beliefs that shaped her faith. Although she has never been Mormon, Anna has a unique perspective of the LDS church as she grew up surrounded by Mormonism in Utah. Anna also delves into her time as a missionary in Mozambique, her eventual questioning of her beliefs, and the emotional journey of leaving the church. The conversation touches on the challenges of leaving a high-demand religion and finding new paths to healing and authenticity.
00:04:14 Anna’s intention
00:15:35 “Gift of Tongues” vs “Speaking in Tongues”
00:25:43 Both of Anna’s parents are pastors
00:40:00 The belief in “healing” abilities in Assemblies of God
00:56:00 Anna diagnosed with cancer around age two, they thought religion could heal her
01:19:20 Why do “mainstream” Christians not see Mormons as Christians?
01:33:18 Anna was conditioned to believe that expressing emotion shows closeness to God
01:52:08 Anna talks about what it was like to have Mormon parents not want their kids to be around her
02:01:17 Speaking in tongues for the first time
02:16:50 Creating false memories
02:26:45 How are sexual transgressions seen in evangelicalism vs mormonism?
02:38:05 Anna stopped attending church and school because she felt so ashamed
02:40:50 Anna’s connections with the Latter Day Church of Christ or the polygamist Kingston Group
02:52:41 Anna’s time in Mozambique
03:02:45 It took Anna years to adjust back to normal after her work on her mission
03:10:20 Anna felt like God was calling her home to “save the Mormons”
03:21:10 Anna voicing: “I have created an image of myself that isn't real”
03:38:30 Questioning what to do with her life after leaving that mission
03:47:20 Anna began to see red flags in her pastor -he was not financially transparent and sexist
03:52:15 Anna’s pastor gives sermon called “Four Bad Reasons that People Leave the Church”
04:12:04 Anna feels extremely alone now after leaving
04:25:00 Her parents are still not very willing to view things that are critical of the church
04:45:13 Watched Margi’s “Coming home to myself” THRIVE presentation
04:50:08 What are her moments where she taps into beauty or pleasure?
04:53:46 Final questions for Anna
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