Savage Lovecast Episode 957
Savage Lovecast Episode 957
1Digest
The Savage Lovecast podcast begins with a film review of "My Old Ass," praising its insightful portrayal of sex, family, and mortality. The episode then delves into the "sex recession" affecting younger generations, contrasting it with the fulfilling sex lives of Gen X women in their 50s. Dan emphasizes the importance of risk-taking in sexual experiences and challenges the prioritization of safety and comfort. Listener questions address navigating bisexuality/pansexuality, managing dynamics in a polyamorous relationship, and the challenges of dating as a non-passing transgender woman. The episode also tackles age gaps in relationships, highlighting the "campsite rule"—the older partner's responsibility to leave the younger partner better off than they found them—and the importance of consent and avoiding exploitation. The podcast concludes with further listener feedback and discussion.
Outlines
Film Review & Sex Recession Discussion
The episode opens with a positive review of the film "My Old Ass," followed by a discussion on the "sex recession" among younger generations and the contrasting experiences of Gen X women. The importance of risk-taking in relationships is highlighted.
Listener Questions: Sexuality & Relationships
This section addresses listener questions about navigating the bisexual/pansexual spectrum, the complexities of polyamorous relationships, and the unique challenges of dating as a non-passing transgender woman.
Age Gaps, Consent, and Listener Feedback
The episode explores the dynamics of age-gap relationships, emphasizing the "campsite rule" and the crucial role of consent. The segment concludes with additional listener feedback and comments.
Keywords
Sex Recession
A decline in sexual activity among younger generations (Millennials and Gen Z), attributed to various factors including social atomization, mental health, technology, and changing social norms.
Campsite Rule
A guideline for older partners in relationships with significantly younger partners, emphasizing the responsibility to leave the younger partner in a better state than when the relationship began, avoiding exploitation or harm.
Pansexual
Describes someone who has the potential for emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to people of any gender.
Polyamory
The practice of having multiple consensual romantic relationships at the same time.
Age Gap Relationships
Romantic relationships between partners with a significant age difference.
Consent
Voluntary agreement to participate in a sexual act or relationship.
Transgender
An umbrella term for people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth.
Bisexual
Attraction to people of more than one gender.
Q&A
Why are younger generations experiencing a "sex recession"?
Multiple factors contribute, including social atomization, increased use of antidepressants impacting libido, the constant distraction of technology, readily available pornography altering expectations, intense modern parenting, and an obsession with personal safety and avoidance of discomfort.
What is the "campsite rule" in age-gap relationships?
The older partner should leave the younger partner in better shape than they found them, avoiding exploitation, STIs, unplanned pregnancies, and broken promises.
How should one navigate an age gap relationship ethically?
Consent is paramount. The older partner should be mindful of potential power imbalances and ensure the younger partner is not being exploited or manipulated. Open communication and mutual respect are crucial. Scrutiny of the older partner's motives is warranted.
Is it problematic to date as a non-passing transgender woman?
It depends on individual comfort levels and goals. Dating within the LGBTQ+ community might lead to interactions based on perceived gender rather than affirmed gender identity. Dating outside the community might be more affirming but potentially less accessible at certain stages of transition.
Show Notes
Age gap relationships! Sometimes they are a-ok. Sometimes they are not. A woman is having an argument with her boyfriend about whether his previous relationship was dicey because of the 9-year age difference. She dated a younger person too, but the circumstances were different. Dan Savage (who knows from age gap relationships) weighs in.
A man in a throuple with two ladies can't sleep because their bed gets too toasty at night. Somebody call 911!
On the Magnum, we welcome back sex & culture writer Magdalene Taylor to talk about gooning, and the gooners who goon all day long. (Gooning is obsessive porn use.) She and Dan talk about conspiracy theories around keeping young men on their phones and disgruntled. And, she and Dan discuss a call from a woman who wants to make sure her NEXT boyfriend wants to have as much sex as she does.
A gay man was in a casual relationship for 9 months. His hook-up wouldn't ever host because he said he had a "roommate." Guess what! That roommate was actually his husband. Now that the caller is over the burn of being lied to, he's considering letting the sessions continue because the sex is so good. Should he?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From adult babies, to thruples, trans rights to pansexuality and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
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