Savage Lovecast Episode 960
Savage Lovecast Episode 960Digest
The Savage Lovecast podcast episode begins by dismissing "micro-cheating" as an overblown concept used to promote relationship counseling. It then addresses several listener questions. One listener confesses to reading their wife's journals, prompting advice on honest communication. Another details a difficult breakup with a trans man, leading to a discussion on healthy communication and the book "Conflict is Not Abuse." A listener shares an intense emotional experience during sex after sensory deprivation, highlighting the impact of sensory input on emotional responses. Another listener discusses their ex's mental breakdown after losing a "spank bank" USB drive, prompting a discussion on the normalcy of such collections and the importance of consent. Finally, the episode addresses a boyfriend's discomfort with oral sex, suggesting consensual role-playing as a solution. The episode concludes with listener feedback and additional resources.
Outlines
Debunking Micro-Cheating & Relationship Dynamics
The episode challenges the concept of "micro-cheating," arguing it's a manufactured problem. It then transitions into listener questions about relationship challenges.
Journal Snooping and Honesty in Relationships
A listener reveals reading their wife's journals. The host advises honesty, acknowledging potential positive and negative outcomes.
Navigating a Messy Breakup and Abuse
A listener discusses a difficult breakup with a trans man, prompting discussion on potential manipulation and the book "Conflict is Not Abuse."
Sensory Deprivation and Unexpected Emotional Responses During Sex
A listener describes an intense emotional experience during sex after sensory deprivation. The host explains the phenomenon and its potential impact.
"Spank Banks," Mental Health, and Digital Privacy
A listener discusses their ex's mental breakdown after losing a USB drive containing sex videos. The host normalizes the behavior and emphasizes communication.
Addressing Discomfort with Oral Sex Through Consensual Role-Playing
A listener seeks advice on helping her boyfriend overcome discomfort with oral sex. The host suggests reframing the act as consensual role-playing.
Listener Feedback and Closing Thoughts
The episode concludes with listener feedback, offering additional advice and resources.
Keywords
Micro-cheating
The debated concept of minor relationship boundary violations, often criticized as overblown.
Sensory Deprivation
Reduction or removal of sensory input, impacting emotional responses during sex.
Spank Bank
A collection of personal sexual content, raising issues of consent and digital privacy.
Relationship Communication
Open and honest communication as crucial for healthy relationships.
Consensual Role-Playing
Engaging in sexual activities with explicit consent, used to address sexual discomfort.
Breakups and Ghosting
Navigating difficult breakups and the impact of ghosting on involved parties.
Conflict Resolution
Healthy strategies for resolving conflicts in relationships.
Sexual Consent
The importance of clear and ongoing consent in sexual relationships.
Q&A
Is "micro-cheating" a real phenomenon?
The host argues it's an overblown concept used to generate business for relationship counselors.
How should one handle discovering intimate partner information through snooping?
Honesty is key, but the outcome depends on context and the partner's reaction.
What to do after ghosting someone post-breakup?
A brief message apologizing for the abrupt departure can be constructive.
Is a strong emotional reaction to restored senses after sensory deprivation during sex normal?
Yes, sensory deprivation can heighten other senses and lead to unexpected emotional responses.
Is it normal for men to collect and rewatch sexual content of past partners?
It's a common behavior, but consent regarding retention is crucial.
How can one help a partner overcome discomfort with a sexual act they both enjoy?
Open communication and reframing the act as consensual role-playing can help.
Show Notes
A man chanced upon his wife's journals when he was cleaning the closets. He simply couldn't help himself. He read some of them, and learned about her erotic desires in a way he hadn't known before. It made him fall in love with her all over again. But now what? Should he tell her what he did?
Blindfold magic! A woman had a transcendent experience when her boyfriend blindfolded her and then...removed the blindfold. There he was! And he was suddenly more beautiful than ever.
On the Magnum, Dan welcomes writer, and actor Jeffery Self. What do two introverted, homosexual men have to talk about? Plenty, it turns out! Self's new memoir is deeply personal and fearless. He and Dan chat about the pros and cons of male sex work, why straight men are so jealous of gay men, and the deep dread the words "gay cruise" inspire in them both. Also, they take a call from a woman whose boyfriend is unaware of how stinky his balls are. So you don't want to miss that.
And, a woman's boyfriend is wracked with guilt when she gives him deep, gag-inducing blowjobs. She loves it, but he can't get over the misogynist associations.
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
This episode is brought to you by Dame Products, Sex toys designed by Women, For Women. For 20% off your first order, go to Dame.com and use offer code SAVAGE20
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SAVAGE and get on your way to being your best self.
This episode is brought to you by Beam’s Dream Cocoa Powder- packed with all-natural ingredients to help improve sleep. For a limited time, Beam is offering my listeners up to 40% off. Go to shopbeam.com/SAVAGE and use code SAVAGE at checkout.
Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.
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