Savage Lovecast Episode 963
Savage Lovecast Episode 963
3Digest
This Savage Lovecast episode begins with Dan Savage's reflections on recent protests, emphasizing the importance of visible demonstrations. He then introduces "Do the Thing" as a potential political slogan for Democrats, advocating for concrete action over abstract ideals. The episode features several listener questions: one about the appropriateness of a "coming out party," another about navigating conflicts in a blended family, and a third about fluctuating romantic feelings towards men compared to stable relationships with women. Other questions address the complexities of labeling polyamorous relationships and understanding intense post-BDSM "swoony" feelings. Savage emphasizes open communication in all these scenarios, highlighting the importance of clear boundaries, shared responsibilities, and honest conversations in navigating complex relationships and personal challenges. The episode concludes with listener feedback and further discussion on polyamory and inviting ex-partners to social events.
Outlines
Protest Reflections & "Do the Thing"
The episode opens with reflections on impactful protests and introduces "Do the Thing" as a pragmatic political slogan for Democrats, prioritizing action over rhetoric.
Coming Out & Relationship Dynamics
Discussion on the appropriateness of "coming out parties" contrasts with negative coming out experiences. This segues into questions about navigating household conflicts in blended families and fluctuating romantic feelings.
Polyamory, BDSM, and Relationship Labels
Listeners seek advice on labeling complex polyamorous relationships and understanding intense post-BDSM feelings. Savage emphasizes open communication and reframing post-subspace feelings as gratitude.
Listener Feedback and Closing
The episode concludes with listener feedback on previous topics, including advice on polyamorous relationships and reactions to inviting ex-partners to events.
Keywords
Do the Thing
A proposed political slogan emphasizing action over rhetoric for Democrats.
Polyamory
A relationship style involving multiple romantic relationships with consent from all involved.
Coming Out
The process of revealing one's sexual orientation or gender identity.
BDSM
Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism; sexual activities involving power dynamics and consent.
Subspace
In BDSM, an altered state of consciousness achieved through intense sensory experiences.
Relationship Dynamics
The patterns of interaction and communication within romantic relationships.
Household Conflicts
Disputes and disagreements arising from living with others.
Open Communication
Honest and transparent dialogue within relationships.
Political Slogans
Short, memorable phrases used in political campaigns.
Q&A
What is the significance of the phrase "Do the Thing" in the context of Democratic politics?
"Do the Thing" advocates for concrete action and policy implementation, urging Democrats to focus on tangible results rather than abstract political goals.
How can individuals navigate complex polyamorous relationships and their associated labeling challenges?
Open communication and honest conversations are crucial. Finding the "perfect" label is less important than understanding and communicating the dynamics of each relationship.
Why might someone experience intense post-subspace feelings after a BDSM session with a non-romantic partner?
These feelings are likely a combination of oxytocin release and gratitude for the shared experience, not necessarily romantic or sexual attraction.
Is it appropriate to have a "coming out party" in today's society?
While reflecting societal shifts towards acceptance, the listener's resentment towards the concept is valid, highlighting the varied experiences of coming out.
How should one handle conflicts arising from living with an adult child and their pets?
Clear communication, established boundaries, and a shared understanding of household responsibilities are essential. Consider whether cohabitation is sustainable given the existing tensions.
Show Notes
A chill married lesbian is a little annoyed to hear that her consistently straight friend, engaged to a man, has announced that she is pan. She is pan, but she plans to remain monogamous with her husband. What's more, she is throwing herself a coming-out-as-pan party. When the caller came out as lesbian, she got kicked out of the house. Is she an asshole to feel less than exhilarated by her friend's new sexual identity?
Yikes! Hear the unpleasant tale of the woman who shut her boyfriend's son's dogs in a room for so long, that they did what dogs do when shut in a room all day. Oh, and as she was cleaning the mess, she saw that the 20 year-old son had a sex toy.
On the Magnum, should you be stockpiling poppers? Dan brings on our favorite poppers expert, Adam Zmith, author of Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures. He explains why gay men use them, a bit of their history, and what to do now that they're in the crosshairs of JFK Jr's FDA.
A submissive woman mistakes the swoony feelings she experiences during sub space, for genuine emotional connection. But she doesn't want emotional connection. She just wants to have some tied-up fun. How can she stop her heart from getting all hot and bothered?
Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
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Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, father, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From poppers, to parenting, kissing to ghosting and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since days of old when magic ruled the air.
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