Say This, Get the Date (No Flaking!) How To Never Run Out of Things to Say (Part 3 of 4)
1Digest
This podcast episode, part three of a four-part series, focuses on improving conversation skills after initially approaching a woman. Conno Barrett, a dating coach, presents a three-step roadmap for flirty conversation: explore the initial topic, exchange names, and transition to a second topic (environment, her, shared activity). He emphasizes natural interaction over "game." The episode then details seven common conversational mistakes: running out of things to say, awkward silences, failing to ask for a number/date, only asking questions, asking boring questions, talking about oneself boringly, and asking for a number too soon. Solutions are provided for each, including using open-ended questions, the 80/20 rule (80% casual, 20% flirty), and "back pocket" questions. Finally, the episode offers advice on approaching women at the gym, suggesting a friendly, non-creepy approach using compliments, questions, or observations, and respecting her disinterest. The importance of reading her responses and waiting until the "two-minute mark" before asking for a number is stressed.
Outlines
Introduction & Conversational Roadmap
Introduces the podcast and Conno Barrett; outlines a three-step plan for engaging conversation: explore initial topic, exchange names, and discuss a second topic. Emphasizes genuine interaction.
Common Conversation Mistakes & Solutions
Identifies seven common conversational pitfalls (running out of topics, awkward silences, not asking for a number, only asking questions, boring questions, self-centered conversation, asking for a number too soon) and offers practical solutions, including using open-ended questions, the 80/20 rule, and "back pocket" questions.
Approaching Women at the Gym
Provides guidance on approaching women at the gym respectfully and effectively, emphasizing friendly interaction, reading her cues, and respecting her disinterest. Suggests using compliments, questions, or observations.
The Two-Minute Mark & Beyond
Highlights the importance of the "two-minute mark" for establishing comfort and connection before asking for a number or date. Further emphasizes the importance of reading body language and respecting boundaries.
Keywords
Natural Approaching Method
A dating technique focusing on genuine interaction, using compliments, questions, or observations to initiate conversation, avoiding contrived "pickup lines."
Two-Minute Mark
The crucial timeframe in a conversation where comfort and connection are established, making it ideal for asking for a number or date.
Radical Authenticity
A dating philosophy emphasizing genuine self-expression and honest interaction, fostering deeper connections.
80/20 Rule
A conversational guideline suggesting 80% of interaction should be casual chitchat, and 20% flirty/teasing.
Open-Ended Questions
Questions designed to elicit detailed responses, fostering deeper conversation and avoiding simple "yes/no" answers.
Back Pocket Question
A pre-prepared question to use when conversation lulls, preventing awkward silences.
Phone Number Bandit
A person who obtains a phone number but abruptly ends the interaction, leaving the other person feeling used.
Approaching Women at the Gym
Strategies for initiating conversations with women at the gym in a respectful and non-creepy manner.
Conversation Fails
Common mistakes men make in conversations with women, such as running out of topics or asking inappropriate questions.
Q&A
What is the three-step roadmap for engaging conversation after approaching a woman?
Explore the initial topic, exchange names (potentially discussing them), and then transition to a second topic related to the environment, her, or your shared activity.
What are some common mistakes men make in conversations with women, and how can they be avoided?
Running out of things to say (use the 80/20 rule and back pocket topics), awkward silences (prepare back pocket questions), not asking for a number/date (always go for it if interested), only asking questions (answer your own questions), asking boring questions (use open-ended and emotion-based questions), talking about oneself boringly (use "I love," "I hate," "I feel" statements), and asking for a number too soon (wait for the two-minute mark).
How can I approach women at the gym without being creepy?
Initiate conversation when she's not exercising, using a friendly, G-rated approach (compliment, question, observation). Read her response; if negative, move on; if positive, follow the three-step roadmap and ask for her number after the two-minute mark.
Show Notes
You’re About to Learn:
2:47 : The 3-Step Roadmap to Keep Conversations Flowing and Get the Date
5:37 : What to Talk About First After You Approach
8:15 : The Magic Word that Makes You More Interesting to Her
12:30 : The Exact Way to Ask Her Out
21:51 : How to Get Her Phone Number
27:07 : The BIG Mistake that Will Get You Ghosted
28:45 : The 7 Conversation Fails that Kill Attraction and How to Avoid Them
47:10 : Why Women Ghost You—and the Simple Move to Fix It
56:54 : How to Meet and Charm Women at Your Gym
Listen now to have flirty conversations with women you meet IRL—so you can get dates!
FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE GREAT FIRST DATES:
http://www.datingtransformation.com/contact
TO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:
http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30
WANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:
Connell@datingtransformation.com
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