It's time for your Indulgence Gospel! And today we’re talking all things Fat Travel!

We’ll be answering your questions, sharing travel hacks, and just getting into the nitty gritty of how to be a fat person going places in the world.

And so much more!

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CREDITS

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Episode 162 Transcript

Virginia

Okay, so I have a quick vent—a rant, if you will—before we get into questions, about being a fat person in public. Which is this: In the last three weeks, I have been mistaken for pregnant twice by strangers. 

This is something that has happened my whole life, as you know, as we’ve discussed on the pod and in essays many times. And then, it didn’t happen for a long time. And I thought I was out, Corinne. I thought I was done with it. I thought I was old enough and fat enough that I could just present as a fat lady past her reproductive prime.

But apparently not.

So the first time happened while we were on the platform at Grand Central Station. We were taking the kids to the Natural History Museum and we’re walking along a crowded platform, and this lady rushes up to me. And at first she says, “I love your green Birkenstocks!” So I liked her, because that is an appropriate way to talk to people. Compliment their shoes. And then she said, “You have such a beautiful family!” And I was like, “Thank you! Sure!” I won’t get into the fact that this is actually my ex-husband, you don’t need all that information. You’re right. We are a beautiful family.

And then she looks at me, and she goes, “And another girl on the way!”

Corinne

Oh my God!

Virginia

And I was like, “Where?!”

Corinne

Watch out!

Virginia

And then I realized what she meant. And so I just said, “Oh no, just fat.” And then she goes, “Oh, I’ve been there.” And this was a very thin person. I was like, I don’t know that you have?

Corinne

That is a wild thing to say. 

Virginia

But I was proud of myself because my kids were there and I was proud that I just really took it in stride and was like, “Nope, just fat!” Like, no apology. Just kept walking down the platform. So that was the first one. 

Then the second one was Sunday night. I was in my driveway, in the privacy of my driveway. My mailbox is across the street from my house, so I was at the end of my driveway about to cross the street to go get my mail. And a lady stopped her car, leaned her head out of her car—a woman I have never seen before—and she said, “Your garden is so beautiful! And are you expecting?”

Corinne

I don’t like that at all. 

Virginia

And look, I don’t want to be ageist, I don’t want to stereotype. But both of these comments came from over-enthusiastic Boomer ladies who were trying to be complimentary and appreciative of me in these ways. But no. Just talk about people’s shoes and their gardens! Don’t talk about their bodies.

Corinne

And if you had said yes for that second one, then what? 

Virginia

She would have been like, “When are you due? Oh, my God, that’s amazing!”

Corinne

That’s it? That’s the whole conversation?

Virginia

I think? I mean, I said, no. 

Corinne

She’s not like, trying to give you baby clothes?

Virginia

No, no, no, no, no. She was like, “I live up the road. I’m Vivian.” We’ve never met. She’s not a neighbor I know. She was like, “I just always love your house when I drive by,” which is very lovely. I have done that if I see a neighbor outside I don’t know, and I like their house, I’ll stop and be like, “I love your garden.” But we don’t know each other in a commenting on my stomach way! There are very few people who know me in a commenting on my stomach way. I think that list is limited to my six-year-old honestly.

Corinne

I do think the takeaway here is that you look very young. As someone in their 40s, I feel like it’s flattering that all these people think you are 25 and pregnant. 

Virginia

I mean, they don’t say, “You look 25.”

Corinne

You’re glowing! 

Virginia

Maybe I was sweaty?

It’s such an annoying phenomenon that I know people in all body sizes experience, so I wanted to discuss it again. In fact, as we’ve talked about—the fatter you are, the less it happens. But it is such a weird way that people insert themselves into someone else’s experience of their body. And then they always feel awkward and you’re expected to make it less awkward. So I was really proud—when the second lady said, “Are you expecting?” I just said, “No.” And then I just stood there. And she goe