Digest

This podcast features Austin Wheeler, a former Mormon who attended West Point, sharing his experiences navigating faith, military service, and trauma. His upbringing in a devout Mormon family in Southern California is detailed, including a traumatic childhood sexual assault and his parents' divorce. He discusses the militaristic and nationalistic themes prevalent in his Mormon upbringing, the influence of the US Constitution in Mormon theology, and his decision to pursue a military career. His time at West Point, including the unique ward culture, is explored, along with the challenges of dating within the Mormon community and the intense pressure surrounding pre-mission sexual morality. His missionary experience in Taiwan, marked by illness, cultural clashes, and exposure to church hypocrisy, led to a significant deconstruction of his faith. The podcast also covers his struggles with mental and physical health, the abrupt end of his military career due to injury, and his journey of overcoming nihilism after experiencing significant loss and trauma. He discusses the prevalence of MLMs in the Mormon community, the dangers of Christian nationalism, and the civilian-military divide. The interview concludes with a book recommendation and a reflection on the importance of diverse perspectives within the Mormon experience.

Outlines

00:00:00

Introduction: Mormonism, Military, and Trauma

Introduction to Austin Wheeler and the podcast's topic: Mormons in the military. Highlights Austin's military experience, perspectives on Mormonism, Christianity, and Christian nationalism. Includes a trigger warning for themes of abuse.

00:03:59

Austin's Mormon Upbringing and Early Trauma

Details Austin's family's conversion, his devout upbringing, early engagement with Mormon scripture, and the impact of sexual assault at age 10 and his parents' divorce.

00:21:21

Mormon Culture, Militarism, and the Constitution

Explores militaristic and nationalistic themes in Austin's Mormon upbringing, the glorification of violence in scripture, and the role of the US Constitution in Mormon theology.

00:31:37

High School, Military Aspirations, and Brother's Struggles

Covers Austin's high school years, his motivations for seeking acceptance, and his decision to pursue military service, including West Point, influenced by his brother's struggles with Mormonism.

00:51:34

West Point and Military Service: Shaping Identity and Faith

Austin shares his experience enlisting at 17, attending West Point's prep school, and his time at the academy, reflecting on the military's role in shaping his identity and the intersection of his faith and military service.

01:05:57

West Point Ward Culture and Initial Reflections

Compares ward culture at West Point to Southern California, highlighting similarities and differences, and discusses challenges and opportunities for Mormons in the military.

01:17:34

Mormon Family Dynamics, Dating at West Point, and Missionary Preparation

Discusses the "forever family" ideal in Mormonism, dating challenges at West Point, and the pressure to find a spouse before a mission, including unusual efforts by senior missionary couples.

01:21:13

Dating, Pre-Mission Anxiety, and Sexual Morality

Covers dating experiences, anxieties about pre-mission behavior, and the intense pressure and fear surrounding sexual activity before a mission.

01:28:52

Taiwan Mission, MTC Experiences, and Fight Club

Details his mission call to Taiwan, extended time at the MTC, cultural clashes, racism, a positive MTC companion, and the surprising establishment of a fight club.

01:42:56

Church Hypocrisy, East Coast Mormonism, and Missionary Illness

Discusses growing awareness of inconsistencies and hypocrisy within the Mormon church, comparing experiences in Southern California and the East Coast, and details his severe illness in Taiwan and insensitive worthiness interviews.

01:59:32

Return Home, Medical Diagnosis, and Second Mission Attempt

Recounts his return home, illness diagnosis, and attempt to return to his mission.

02:22:20

Reconciliation, Marriage, and Deconstruction of Mormon Narrative

Discusses deconstruction of the Mormon narrative, his relationship with his wife, and navigating faith differences.

02:28:48

Early West Point Experiences, Faith Reinforcement, and First Cracks

Describes initial West Point experiences, faith reinforcement, and a pivotal moment leading to a shift in perspective on church authority.

02:40:14

Thought Stopping, Deconstruction, and Military Parallels

Discusses "thought-stopping" mechanisms in Mormonism, the process of suppressing critical thoughts, and parallels with dehumanization in military training.

02:52:07

MLMs, Mormon Community, and Financial Exploitation

Discusses the prevalence of MLMs within his Mormon community and the financial and emotional damage suffered by members.

02:56:45

Deconstruction, Christian Nationalism, and Gospel Shortcomings

Discusses shortcomings of the Mormon church, concerns about Christian nationalism, and its dangers to a free republic.

03:07:35

Military Career End, Medical Trauma, and Post-Military Life

Details the end of his military career due to injuries and medical complications, reflecting on the emotional and physical toll.

03:16:41

Post-Military Life, Identity, and Veteran Support

Discusses post-military life, struggles with identity, supporting fellow veterans, and the civilian-military divide.

03:45:17

Military Experiences, Violence, and Mental Health

Discusses incidents involving military personnel and violence, highlighting mental health challenges faced by military members and veterans.

03:47:58

Rebuilding After Loss, Overcoming Nihilism, and Self-Defined Values

Austin discusses overcoming nihilism after experiencing significant losses and trauma, shifting from a faith-based framework to finding meaning in self-defined values and goals.

03:54:04

Book Recommendation and Conclusion: Diverse Mormon Perspectives

Includes a book recommendation and concludes with thanks to Austin, highlighting the importance of diverse perspectives within the Mormon experience.

Keywords

Q&A

• How did Austin's Mormon upbringing influence his decision to join the military?

  Austin's upbringing fostered a strong sense of duty, patriotism, and a belief in the righteousness of violence in certain contexts, all of which were reinforced by both Mormon scripture and his community's strong military and law enforcement presence. This created a pathway towards military service as a fulfillment of religious and societal expectations.

• What were some of the key challenges Austin faced in reconciling his faith with his military experiences?

  Austin struggled with the inherent violence of military training and service, particularly given the glorification of violence within Mormon scripture. He also grappled with the expectations of his Mormon community, which sometimes conflicted with his military commitments and personal growth.

• How did Austin's experience with abuse shape his perspective on Mormonism and the military?

  The sexual abuse Austin experienced at a young age, coupled with the lack of support within his religious community, led him to question the church's teachings and authority structures. His military experience provided a framework for self-improvement and a sense of purpose, but also highlighted the potential for violence and the need for critical self-reflection.

• What is the significance of the US Constitution in Austin's Mormon worldview?

  Austin's Mormon upbringing emphasized the divine inspiration of the US Constitution, viewing it as a sacred document akin to scripture. This perspective contributed to his strong sense of American exceptionalism and patriotism.

• What is Austin's current perspective on the relationship between faith and military service?

  While Austin's initial motivations for joining the military were deeply rooted in his Mormon faith, his experiences led him to critically examine the intersection of faith, violence, and national identity. He now holds a more nuanced perspective, acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of this relationship.

• What were the biggest challenges you faced as a Mormon missionary?

  The speaker faced severe illness, cultural clashes, racism, and insensitive handling of his health concerns by church leadership. He also struggled with the strict moral code and pressure to conform.

• How did your experience lead to a deconstruction of your faith?

  The speaker's experiences with hypocrisy, insensitivity, and the punitive nature of the church's response to his illness led him to question and ultimately reject many of his previously held beliefs.

• What role did your illness play in your overall experience?

  The speaker's illness became a catalyst for his deconstruction, highlighting the church's failure to provide adequate support and medical care, instead focusing on perceived unworthiness.

• How did your experiences at West Point shape your perspective?

  West Point provided a contrast to the Mormon culture, highlighting differences in social dynamics and expectations. The structured environment also contrasted with the perceived lack of autonomy during his mission.

• What advice would you give to someone considering a Mormon mission?

  The speaker would advise careful consideration of the potential challenges, including the strict rules, potential for cultural shock, and the possibility of encountering insensitive leadership. He emphasizes the importance of prioritizing mental and physical health.

Show Notes