Daily Boost Podcast Show Notes

Why Knowing What You Don’t Want Is Better Than Knowing What You Do Want

05-27-25 | Episode - 5102

Host: Scott Smith

Episode Description

In this episode, I share a powerful lesson I learned from women in my life, particularly divorced women who taught me something counterintuitive about making positive changes. While most motivational advice tells you to focus on what you want, I’ve discovered that starting with what you don’t wish to can be far more effective.

This isn’t about dwelling on negativity or being unmotivated. It’s about crystalizing what’s not working in your life right now so you can create the space for what you actually want to emerge.

Featured Story

I share stories from conversations with divorced women who’ve completed their “mandatory year off” and are ready for new relationships. When asked what they’re looking for in a partner, they always start with what they don’t want - and there’s wisdom in that approach.

One memorable conversation involved a woman who said she didn’t want a man with a motorcycle, only to discover she loved motorcycles. The actual issue wasn’t the bike; her ex-husband used it to ride around with someone half her age. Understanding what you don’t want helps clarify what you want.

Important Points

Identifying what you don’t want isn’t negative thinking. Practical awareness motivates positive change.

Most people are already thinking about what’s bothering them anyway, so why not use that natural tendency constructively?

Once you see what you don’t like about your current situation, what you want becomes magically revealed to you.

Memorable Quotes

“You had garbage going on today. That’s what you don’t like today. That’s your problem today.”

“If you will look at what you don’t like that’s going on and then realize it and start changing it, life changes.”

“There’s always going to be bugs. Just get the better bugs.”

Scott’s Three-Step Approach

Look honestly at what you don’t like that’s happening in your life right now, without judgment.

Realize these situations and acknowledge them as your starting point for change.

Let this clarity motivate you to create the opposite actively; your actual desires will become clear.

Connect With Me

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