The Psychology of your 20s

We all know the feeling of oversharing at a party or work function and feeling the sting of embarrassment and shame the next day. So why do we feel the need to overshare with others, even though it has emotional and mental consequences? In this episode we explore the psychology of oversharing, from the difference between trauma dumping and authenticity, why oversharing soothes our social anxiety or can be used subconsciously to fast-track a relationship. We also discuss the links to ADHD and the emotional aftermath, particularly the experience of a 'vulnerability hangover', as well as my 5 key tips to stop oversharing. Listen now.  Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

One of the hardest dilemmas we have to face is when it's time to walk away from someone you still love because you know the relationship isn’t right for you. We can often find ourselves stuck in a constant battle between knowing what is right, and what our heart wants us to do. In this episode we break down the five key signs its time to walk away, particularly for those of us in our 20s, and why these reasons matter the most, exploring ideas of:  Fatal Attraction Theory The biology behind our 'gut instinct'  The Reciprocity Principle  Equity Theory  Sunk costs  Expectant thinking  Fear of being lonely or of the unknown We also explore why we find it so difficult, the reasons that hold us back, including as the stigma around being the one to initiate the breakup and feeling like a failure for your relationship not working out.  You should not be with someone who is not adding to your life in your 20s. This is your time to be your own person, to prioritise exactly what is going to make YOU happy, not stay out of obligation or because of fear, family pressure or expectations. Is this the life you want, with this person? Are they making you the best version of yourself? Are they making you happy? Why don’t you deserve someone who does, even if it takes a while and is a bit scary.  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Resources:  https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/helplines/  https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a question I have been asking myself a lot recently as someone who is VERY invested in the self-help space. Have we reached a point where we are too aware of our problems, faults, thoughts, actions and behaviours? Self awareness can free us from so many mental restrictions, it allows us to make better decisions, be a better friend, a better person, invest in our dreams and values. But at some point, we can reach a stage where we are too invested in self-reflection and introspection that it interrupts our enjoyment of the moment, can isolate us or even result in obsessive overthinking and rumination. In this episode we explore what it means to be self-aware and how online self help content might be causing us more harm than good. Listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Consider supporting me on Patreon if you enjoy my content: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many of us battle with a deep-rooted fear and anxiety that those we love will leave us. Maybe we have been hurt in a past relationship, or witnessed a messy divorce or the passing of ones we love and we have unconsciously learned to associated vulnerability, intimacy and love with pain and disappointment. This fear of abandonment can cause us to sabotage otherwise perfectly healthy relationships or to push people away out of an irrational fear they will leave us, only to end up just as alone as if they had. In this episode we explore the following:  What is the root cause of the fear of abandonment? The different types of abandonment reactions - the saboteur, the clingy, the avoidant and the serial dater  Links to codependency and emotional unavailability  How to heal our abandonment wounds  We all want to accept others into out lives and trust the people we love will stay by our side so if you're struggling with an irrational fear or anxiety of abandonment, listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  If you enjoy this content, please consider subscribing to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The new reality of dating in your 20s is that the majority of us who are single are on the dating apps. Tinder, Hinge and Bumble have completely changed how we approach dating by expanding our options, making dating convenient and accessible and are increasingly becoming the way many of us meet our partners. A study conducted by the Pew Research Centre found that almost half of us between 18 and 29 have used a dating app. Yet, this has also transformed a lot of our offline behaviours towards dating. In this episode we break down the psychology behind dating apps including:  The impact of choice overload The psychology behind our romantic preferences  The scarcity effect  Seeking validation through dating apps Dopamine and swipe based dating  Dealing with rejection and dating app burnout  We are also joined by the wonderful Lucille McCart from Bumble who discusses how we can use dating apps to their full potential in our 20s. She explains how we can convert our online matches into real world connections, why you should be the one asking people on dates and the benefit dating people outside of your 'type'. All of that a more. Listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this week's episode we discuss the psychology of your ego and what its trying to tell us! Ego can feel nasty and entitled but it comes from a place of deep insecurity that we need to unpack before we can truly understand ourselves. We look at the 6 signs your ego is in control, where ego comes from and how to replace it with self esteem and humility. We also discuss why ego and self confidence are different things even though they sometimes look similar: how ego is insecure, inconsistent and relies on the perceived inferiority of others whilst confidence is stable, sure and kind. Remember, you are not your ego so in this episode we talk how to rein it in, accept it as part of who we are and move forward. Listen now.  My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Love, dating and friendships can feel like a black box in our 20s when we're trying to make the most out of our formative years. None of us have the answers or a guide to some of our biggest questions - how do I actually make new friends, how many friends should I have, should I be settling down this early or exploring my options? In part two of this series we breakdown how to make the most out of our personal relationships during this decade. We discuss why your answer should always be 'yes', why quantity over quality may actually be more correct when it comes to friendships in our 20s and the benefit on getting our heart broken and loving as deeply as possible during this period. We also cover my 7 tips for personal growth to make the most out of this decade, from letting go of our ego to taking time to uncover our childhood wounds, as well as the power of just having a laugh at yourself every now and then. All that and more, listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How do we actually make the most of our 20s? Career anxiety, feeling stuck, taking risks and managing our money (do we spend or save) are all big concerns we have in this period. So how do we manage these dilemmas and choices to create our dream life in our 20s, and what does that dream life even look like? In part one of our mini series, we examine the major decisions we make during this decade around our future and how we can approach them to get the best outcome. We discuss the importance of taking risks, moving to a new city, quitting your terrible job and trying as many things as possible. We also talk money, dymystifying some of the stigma around how people in their 20s are actually spending their money and why you should be spending on experiences rather than temporary things. Listen now! Part two out Friday!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trauma seems like a bit of a black box at times, something that we all experience as part of our life journey as humans but surrounded by a lot of misinformation. In this episode, we are joined by our guest, Dr MC McDonald, author of The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong to break down all of the science and psychology behind why we react to trauma the way we do, suppressed memories, what actually counts as 'traumatic' and the impact of trauma on our body. We also explore some of the more unexpected traumas we encounter and attempt to answer the question "will I ever heal from my trauma?". All that and more in this episode.  Follow Dr MC: https://www.instagram.com/mc.phd/ Purchase her book here: https://www.amazon.com/Unbroken-Trauma-Response-Never-Things/dp/1683648846 Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Love and attachment feel very similar, and it's very easy to confuse the two especially in the early stages of dating when we are overwhelmed by infatuation and the novelty of a new relationship. However, they are very different. Whilst love is a deliberate choice, mutual, selflessness, and long lasting, attachment is unconscious, can be one-sided and based on what serves our needs. Confusing these two feelings can cause us to pursue the wrong people, invest too quickly and, at times, end up hurt and disappointed. Today we're going to explore how to tell the difference, why we need to protect ourselves from getting attached too quickly, especially when we are prone to fantasy bonding or bread crumbing, and how to detach and let that bond develop slowly. We're also going to talk about the 6 questions we can use to answer the question: am I in love, or am I just attached? Listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Everyone is talking about healing our inner child, but what about our inner teenager? We experience certain things in adolescence that we don't experience as children and these can manifest in different behaviours, defence mechanisms and emotional wounds that continue with us into adulthood. Whilst the inner child is seen as gentle and vulnerable, the inner teen may be angry, misunderstood and lonely. So in this episode we break some some of the psychology and theories behind healing your inner teen, including the interactions with our hormones, certain life experiences and the impact of our first romantic encounters and sexual experiences. We also explore how we can release the rage of our inner teen, express those wounds and use the adult chair method to feel more connected with this past version.  The Adult Chair Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4FzdV2nB2BZlywCxowM1Xw?si=080b7a4a392d4dde Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All of us are going to mess up. In our 20s and every decade thereafter. But its what we choose to do with those mistakes that's important. In this episode we explore why we often regret past decisions and actions, looking at the development of our brain and personality, we also explore the distinction between regret and guilt and why both emotions may actually be protecting us from future pain. Part of this is understanding the difference between our actual and ideal self and the psychology behind why we choose to punish ourselves for past mistakes rather than embrace them and move on. Self forgiveness is the most powerful antidote and we'll dive into exactly how to enact this practice and release those painful memories and mistakes from our past through accountability and shared humanity. Listen now! Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we're discussing the secret and the science behind the healing powers of nature. Our generation has become increasingly detached from the outdoors and our wild roots, with over 90% of our days spent indoors or on a screen, often at the expense of our mental wellbeing, sense of self, psychological and spiritual connection with the land and overall physical health. In this episode we explore ideas around nature deficit disorder, recent longitudinal studies on the impacts of green spaces on our mental health and practices such as forest bathing, forest schools, water therapy and what we can learn from the deep connection that Indigenous groups have with the land. We also discuss how we can easily integrate more time outdoors into our daily routine to radically improve our psychological wellbeing. Listen now.  Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Independence is highly regarded as an admirable personality trait - we are obsessed with people who are self made, who solo travel, pay their own bills and don't seem to need anyone. However, our sense of independence can become problematic when we approach the point of hyper-independency. Hyper-independence refers to an excessive sense of self sufficiency and self reliance, in which we deny the help of others, prefer doing things on our own and avoid emotional vulnerability. Researchers have since suggested that this kind of behaviour may actually be a trauma response, whereby we push others away to protect ourselves from being hurt due to past experiences. In today's episode we break down the psychology of hyper-independence, specifically its origins in childhood emotional neglect and being forced to grow up too soon. We examine the major indicators of hyper-independence, the links to codependency, as well as the consequences this can have for our love lives and careers, whilst also exploring how we can heal. Listen now.  Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this week's episode we discuss why we fall into a so called 'rut' and how to pull ourselves out of it and rekindle our sense of self! Our 20s represent a transition into adulthood where we can find ourselves more and more detached from ourselves, uninspired, unmotivated, unexcited by life. The reasons for why this occurs varies, from the transition to full-time work, experiencing failure, the monotony of daily routine and even chronic stress. We're going to discuss six psychological strategies and theories for how we can break out of this cycle, including the benefits of impulsive behaviour, the healing power of nature, how to set a weekly challenge and much more. For all my 20-something year olds out there, stuck in a bit of a rut. This episode if for you.  Subscribe on Patreon for exclusive bonus content: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

TW: Domestic violence, sexual abuse. In her early 20s, Amy suffered an unimaginable loss. Her mother was murdered at the hands of her brother. But what came next is an even more incredible story of growth, advocacy and overcoming adversity and trauma. In this week's episode, we speak to Amy about trauma in our 20s and how we can push through grief and loss. We discuss the power of positive self talk, the psychology of complex PTSD, unlearning generational trauma and how to use your pain to help others. Listen now.  Follow the incredible Amy to hear more about her work: https://www.instagram.com/amybchesler/ Amy's podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3amRVnSbdrioaBoaHcNRiq?si=364be5d8f92043b1  Buy Amy's book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Working-Justice-Familys-Betrayal-Healing/dp/1642937541  If you found this episode distressing, please see the following resources for additional assistance: Reachout: https://au.reachout.com/ Beyond Blue: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/  Mental Health America: https://www.mhanational.org/get-involved/contact-us See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Being single has never been more common, with more people being single than ever before in history. And yet, we still experience a great degree of social and internal stigma, and even shame, around our relationship status. From the comments of family or friends saying that "you'll find someone soon", to the movies where marriage and partnership is the happy ending, sometimes we feel the need to settle in order to be happy or live up to societies expectations. In today's episode we explore the psychology behind this - from gender schema theory, to the scarcity effect, media psychology, identity fusion, and the hidden benefits of our single years. We also discuss whether it's wrong to want a relationship and whether we need to be fully healed before dating again? The answer is, it's complicated. Listen now!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Overthinking can sometimes feel like an endless mental maze that we're trapped in. This tendency to overthink can also lead to chronic indecisiveness and obsessive acknowledgement of the opinions of others. But overthinking is much more common that when we think, and may actually indicate a greater sense of self awareness and emotional intelligence. In this episode we explore why we have a tendency to overthink, from the illusion of control, to perfectionism, childhood learning and the link to ADHD and depressive rumination. We'll also dive into the strategies and ways we can control our overthinking and become better decision makers without needing to consider every outcome or ruminate for days. This episode is for all my fellow chronic overthinkers, listen now! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The desire to be unique and individual is one that we all feel, especially in our 20s as we begin to establish our 'adult' identity and make efforts to distinguish ourselves. In this weeks episode we discuss seven major tips and strategies for being the most interesting and unique person in any room - from embracing unconventional thinking, rejecting the herd mentality of trends and the desire to be the "it" girl, spending time in nature, and challenging yourself creatively, being different is no longer and bad thing. Listen now to learn the psychology behind how we can be completely unique. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we sit down for an intimate conversation with the incredible Claud Bailey, a queer film director and queer youth advocate based in Sydney, Australia to discuss what our gender and sexuality means for our 20s. We dive into the meaning of community, gender expression, the beauty of queerness and how to navigate coming of age as a queer person in the 21st century, along with the role of being a responsible and compassionate ally. Alongside this we also explore the power of rituals, the relationship between pleasure and pain and the role of beauty in enjoying our lives to the fullest. Listen now to hear more from our wonderful guest!  Follow Claud: https://www.instagram.com/ /?hl=en Wear It Purple: https://www.wearitpurple.org/  The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.