115. S9 E10: An outcast in thick armour: from not fitting in to finding autistic pride and community
Description
Nigel Rising is the Founder and CEO of Autistic Women Emerging, a charity that aims to change the lives of undiagnosed and newly diagnosed autistic women. The charity was born out of her own personal struggle with depression and suicidal ideation, and it is her hope to help prevent autistic women taking their lives because they believe they are bad people, or a burden to others.
Nigel says: "My post-diagnosis journey has become a mission to understand and address why it took so long to discover why I had suffered a lifetime of painful isolation and loneliness. I cannot bear the thought that there are other people in the world right now experiencing the same dark pain I felt. I want other Autistic women to know that they are not alone in the pain, loneliness and isolation they feel when they are experiencing suicidal ideation."
Nigel was born in Germany to a military family, raised in Texas, and now lives in Denver, Colorado, in the United States. Her MENSA-level intelligence led to a corporate career, but her social limitations and heavy masking took their toll. Now 53, she was diagnosed autistic with ADHD in early 2023.
We talk about:
➡ The impact of her indigenous American upbringing, religious schooling, and her dad's military background
➡ Masking, hierarchies, her difficulties forming relationships, and her experience of suicidal ideation
➡ Her experience of asking for accommodations in a new role as an openly autistic person
➡ Her growing sense of autistic pride and community after a lifetime of not fitting in anywhere, and the conference for Autistic women she is running in Denver in October 2024, called Autistica Palooza.
CONTENT WARNING: Suicidal ideation. Nigel talks at some length about this, from around 0:48 minutes in to around 0:58 , so if you don't want to hear about this topic, you might want to skip this section
Squarepeg is a podcast in which neurodivergent women, and trans and nonbinary people, explore navigating a neurotypical world and share their insights, challenges and successes.
I hope that these conversations will be inspiring and thought provoking, open you up to new ways of thinking about being neurodivergent, and help you feel more connected to a worldwide community of people with similar experiences.
I'm Amy Richards, and after being diagnosed autistic at the age of 37 I'm now on a mission to learn more about different perspectives and issues around being a neurodivergent adult in a world that feels like it doesn't quite fit.
EPISODE LINKS:
Nigel's website:https://autisticwomenemerging.org/
Autistica Palooza event page: https://autisticapalooza.com
Her LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nigel-rising-esq-b874902aa/
Referenced article on suicide and suicidal ideation in autistic people from the National Autistic Society: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/suicide-research
Warning signs of suicide in autistic people: https://988lifeline.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Warning-Signs-Resource-Sept-2021-2.pdf
Autism in Heels, by Jennifer Cook: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Autism-Heels-Untold-Female-Spectrum/dp/1510758690
If you'd like to connect with me, get in touch or follow Squarepeg, you can find me on:
Website: https://squarepeg.community/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/squarepeg.community/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/squarepegautism
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/squarepegautism/
THANK YOU TO MY PATRONS!
A HUGE thank you to my amazing patrons, who support my work on the podcast:
Abby, Abi Hunter, Adam Klager, Alice Kemp, Amanda Ford, Amy Adler, Amy-Beth Mellor, Anika Lacerte, Annette, B Martinez, Basia, Becky Beasley, Ben Davies, Beth Kelly Herbert, Carly Melling, Caroline, Cat Preston, Cathy Oliver, Catrin Green, Charlotte Keen, Cindy Bailey, Corinne Cariad, DK, Dana Bradley, Danielle Warby, Deborah Cullinan, Dennis McNulty, Elizabeth Williams, Erica Kenworthy, Evgeniia Pupysheva, Ewan McNeill, Fiona Connor, Fiona Ross, Frederike, Galina, Grace, Gwyneth, H Arena, Hannah, Hannah Breslin, Heather Peake, Hegatronix, Jackie Allen, Jayne Hutchinson, Jeff Goldman, Jen Bartlett, Jess Dwyer, Jo, Julie, Katarzyna Tomaszewska, Kate and Kathryn, Kate Faust, Katharine Richards, Katherine, Katherine Lynch, Ken K, Laura, Leo Ricketts, Lesley McKenzie, Lilli Simmons, Linda Brown, Lisa, Lisa Joy Powley, Liz, LQ, Lyb, Lynn Vieira, Mandy Allen, Marjory Webber, Martine, Melissa Shaw, Meredith L. Freyre, Monica Toohey, Monique Francis, NC, Pete Burke, Rebecca, Rebecca Biegel, Sadie Slater, Sandy Ladkin, Sarah Ivinson, Sarah Jeffrey, Sarah Musgrave, Sarah Raine, Sarah Swanton, Shauna Schramke, Stefan Mundt, Suzanne, Talia's Nature, Tammie Fabien, Tamsen Staniford, Tara Blue Meyer, Tara Finlay Art, Tessa Valyou, Vic Wiener, Vicki Temple, Wendy Walker, Zephyrine Craster and Zoe Lee.
If you're enjoying the Squarepeg podcast and would like to help me carry on making new episodes, you can become a member of the Squarepeg community on Patreon from £3 per month: https://www.patreon.com/squarepegpodcast


![140 [S10 E12] Working with autism, not against: Mental health, masking and giving ourselves grace 140 [S10 E12] Working with autism, not against: Mental health, masking and giving ourselves grace](https://s3.castbox.fm/b5/61/73/747e27f2c720a1a00be87b6ef938308a4e_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![139 [S10 E11] Creating space to show up without shrinking: how we can thrive at work as autistics 139 [S10 E11] Creating space to show up without shrinking: how we can thrive at work as autistics](https://s3.castbox.fm/45/38/60/c526ce9f05448cdb89d434fad5f4a86081_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![138 [S10 E10] Working with our ocean and our tides: the impact of autism self identification 138 [S10 E10] Working with our ocean and our tides: the impact of autism self identification](https://s3.castbox.fm/7c/26/ea/abf41edb502b7516c19a58b32562571fd2_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![137 [S10 E9] Meeting myself again: sensory needs, autistic joys and building stronger relationships after autism diagnosis 137 [S10 E9] Meeting myself again: sensory needs, autistic joys and building stronger relationships after autism diagnosis](https://s3.castbox.fm/ce/55/3b/e23951b23d4692135be2c661be922c8496_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![136 [S10 E8] 'Undercover autistic': shaping a more just and inclusive future for autistic care users & practitioners 136 [S10 E8] 'Undercover autistic': shaping a more just and inclusive future for autistic care users & practitioners](https://s3.castbox.fm/01/89/8e/26314c48ba901ae9d85ed2b9b98709f328_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![135 [S10 E7] A blessing and a curse: autism, masking and miscommunication 135 [S10 E7] A blessing and a curse: autism, masking and miscommunication](https://s3.castbox.fm/de/1c/a1/b03d574e915147ab03867012a86c9b61e6_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![134 [S10 E6] Making your body a nicer place to live: autism and a different approach to physical fitness 134 [S10 E6] Making your body a nicer place to live: autism and a different approach to physical fitness](https://s3.castbox.fm/32/be/91/dfa0048c24f8bf7b16a4d1166191a7b38d_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![133 [S10 E5] The Mess and the Magic: from the good girl narrative to autistic self compassion 133 [S10 E5] The Mess and the Magic: from the good girl narrative to autistic self compassion](https://s3.castbox.fm/eb/41/7d/43dbf9c6a61bc5e900e6c795f58be85f2a_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![132 [S10 E4] "Layers of unravelling": autism, leadership and belonging with Kirsty Cullen-Campanelli 132 [S10 E4] "Layers of unravelling": autism, leadership and belonging with Kirsty Cullen-Campanelli](https://s3.castbox.fm/6a/ff/f4/943c9f22dc0665bb04b790157e4eb66a77_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![131 [S10 E3] Working at the edge of what we know: autism, trauma and identity 131 [S10 E3] Working at the edge of what we know: autism, trauma and identity](https://s3.castbox.fm/9a/10/70/f6f71dbb19ea20992734c89bf6cbe14428_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![130 [S10 E2] "Whenever I fell, autism caught me": autism, intersex and gender 130 [S10 E2] "Whenever I fell, autism caught me": autism, intersex and gender](https://s3.castbox.fm/83/c4/c9/93ffb86562726d2357273bb9c4258d9c92_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![129 [S10 E1] "I thought I was just disorders": navigating autistic and ADHD traits and challenges - with Mrs AuDHD 129 [S10 E1] "I thought I was just disorders": navigating autistic and ADHD traits and challenges - with Mrs AuDHD](https://s3.castbox.fm/a3/ab/5f/aaa60067dedf6f80e1e1fe66cd5c50abba_scaled_v1_400.jpg)




![113 [S9 E8] Making the invisible visible: getting comfortable with a late autism diagnosis 113 [S9 E8] Making the invisible visible: getting comfortable with a late autism diagnosis](https://s3.castbox.fm/40/97/69/9b61ebabed8f904a8548f6778c3f6d2a76_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![112 [S9 E7] Why the system is thwarting autistic people: reimagining neurodivergent health - with Dr Mel Houser 112 [S9 E7] Why the system is thwarting autistic people: reimagining neurodivergent health - with Dr Mel Houser](https://s3.castbox.fm/24/59/70/94ebf1fcd5928f1d1a18a904553e20007b_scaled_v1_400.jpg)
![111 [S9 E6] A magnet pulling me out of darkness: thinking through my body into autistic expression 111 [S9 E6] A magnet pulling me out of darkness: thinking through my body into autistic expression](https://s3.castbox.fm/bc/0d/81/bea4a17a6c5198ae292820350e00cb041c_scaled_v1_400.jpg)


