You know that moment when you find yourself in the same situation again… just with different names and faces? Maybe it’s a new job that feels oddly familiar to the last one, or a new relationship that somehow has the same emotional dynamics. In this episode, Betsy unpacks why that happens, what the universe (and your subconscious) are really trying to teach you, and how to finally integrate the lesson so you can move forward…not in circles.

This episode explores:

• The energetic and psychological reason we repeat patterns





• How to identify your “loop moments”





• The role of self-trust and awareness in breaking cycles





• The difference between recognizing a lesson and embodying it





• A 3-step reflection process you can use anytime you realize you’re back in a familiar pattern

It’s an invitation to stop asking “Why does this keep happening to me?” and start asking, “What in me is ready to be healed?”

Transcript

 You know that moment where you find yourself in the same situation again, right? Different names, maybe different faces. Maybe it’s a new job that feels oddly familiar to the last one. The situations that happen are the same, or it’s a new relationship that somehow has these same emotional dynamics. All right, today we’re gonna talk about this.

Why does this happen? What does the universe, and of course, your subconscious. Really want you to know, and I’m gonna teach you how to integrate the lesson so you can start moving forward and you don’t get stuck in circles. Okay? Alright, let’s go. Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy.

I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big.

Hi everybody. Welcome to the Art of Living Big. I’m Betsy. I’m happy that you’re here today. All right, a couple quick updates. ’cause you know, I like to give you a couple of quick updates. So this week, tomorrow, in fact, when you’re listening to this, if you are a subscriber and you listen in the morning when this comes out, while you’re listening, I’m getting my brackets taken off for my Invisalign, which the last couple weeks, the liners that I’ve had have made me.

Like Lispy and it’s so hard to talk. I took them out to do this episode, but it is something that I’m really excited about and I’m happy that my teeth are perfect and it’s like just something to celebrate. So I wanted to celebrate that with you here. If you follow me on Instagram, then you may have noticed, , every morning I do like a good things post.

So thank you guys for loving those and for liking my outfits. You know, it’s kind of funny because nobody sees my outfit all day ’cause I’m, because I’m at work from home, but you guys, when I post, so it makes it fun to get ready and I like to get ready. Someone did ask me that, like, why do you get ready every day if you work from home and nobody sees you?

And I know this sounds kind of strange, . There’s no judgment if you don’t do this, but I do it because I believe that it makes me show up as my favorite version of myself, and I think my clients deserve that. So I like to get up and get ready and feel good and start my day. So if you have been watching those, you may have noticed earlier this week I posted something about the portal 2025.

So. Typically this time of year, I do some special things for people that are coming into the Navigate Method. So we are gonna be taking a handful of people through the regular process, but there’s gonna be some additional. Things that we’re gonna do. And the reason that we’re doing those is two parts.

One is because it’s funky, it’s a funky time of year to do the navigate method because there’s breaks for the holiday, right? So, , like the week of Thanksgiving, we have a group, but it’s earlier the week of Christmas. Christmas falls on a Thursday, right? , And that’s when we meet. So like there’s changes to the schedule.

So because of that, I like to make it a little bit more. Fun for the people that go through and I have some extra things that we’re doing to support you. I also think right now is the most important time of the whole year to go through this, and the reason is because we kick the can down the road so much for so many things in our lives.

I mean, I know I do it for things too, right? There’s things that we want and things that we said in January that I’m not gonna live another year like this. Whether, whatever that is for you in this job, in this relationship, in this uncomfortableness, in this body, whatever it is, right? Things we wanted to do different, and now it’s, now it’s showtime, right?

You still have an opportunity to make a lot of the changes that you wanted to make. The truth is a lot of the things that we set out to do at the beginning of the year really don’t take that much time because once you start there becomes momentum and then that just becomes the way that you live, right?

And so I wanted to invite you in if you are that woman that you are, the kind of woman that you’re, like I said, I wasn’t gonna do this another year. Last year, the year before, the year before. And I’ve gotta do something different. And one of the things that I posted earlier today was just about change.

And someone asked me about asking our husbands to change and they were like, I don’t wanna ask him to change. And, and I kind of laughed ’cause I’m like, you’re not asking him to change. You’re asking him to be aware of who he is. You’re asking him to notice the things that he does that create disconnection and struggle, like you are just , asking him to be aware because you can’t shift anything if you’re not aware that you do it.

And so it sounds to me like so many times women are caught in this back and forth because they’re like, I don’t wanna ask him to change. I should accept him the way he is. And I, you’re not asking him to. Change who he is. You’re asking him to recognize his patterns that aren’t helping him to live the way that you guys decided to live together.

And it may be that he can never do that, that’s a possibility, but you don’t know unless you do things radically different. And that’s what we teach you inside the Navigate method. Okay? So I didn’t mean to go off on all that. I just feel like that’s important and important for you to know that we’re doing that right now, so you could get in on it and you know, if you’re listening to this and it’s December or even early January, there’s still ways for you to get in on that.

And , we have special ways for you to be able to still participate in the things that we’ve done for the holidays. So, okay, so let’s get into this episode. We are gonna be talking today about something that I think that we’ve all felt at some point, and it is that feeling of, wait, have I been here before?

Like I’ve done this before. You know, the details might change. It might be a different relationship, like I said, or a job or a new city, but somehow the emotions, the dynamics, they all feel the same. And you’re like, why haven’t I learned the lesson? Like there is a lesson for me to learn and I never learned it, but what is it?

And it’s, it can feel like. The universe keeps sending you this same test. I hear people say that a lot, like it’s just a test until you finally learn the material. And the truth is,, it sort of does. It’s not really a test, but we’re gonna talk about this, all right? I used to think that if I worked a little bit harder, or I got a little bit smarter, or if I made better choices.

That I would stop ending up in the same emotional places. But what I learned is that , the universe isn’t punishing us, but it is partnering with us. It’s showing us again and again. The places where we’ve abandoned ourselves, right? , The parts of us that are like seeking attention or validation, and it will keep showing up until we are ready to see it differently.

So first, let’s just start with what’s actually going on, because I think that this. This is an important thing to notice. , Anytime I talk about the universe, I’m using air quotes like the universe. I do believe in an energy around things, and also there’s always a way to track it back to your subconscious mind.

So here’s what’s really going on from that level. So our subconscious mind runs the show about 95% of the time, and what I mean by that is. It is the thing that is reacting, deciding, sifting, and sorting through what you are consciously aware of. We think we have free will, but we only have free will enough to the 5%.

The other place that we can impact our free will is by understanding our subconscious mind, and I think this is so important if we want to be and experience new things. Otherwise we become where we are running this track, right? That kind of runs the same thing over and over and over again. And that is actually really helpful.

Biologically, it’s really helpful because we don’t have to remember everything. Like I know exactly how to brush my teeth. I don’t even hardly remember doing it until I realize I’ve done it. It is a habit. It’s unconscious. And if I had to remember everything or look at a YouTube every time I wanted to put pants on, like it would become, life would become very hard, right?

So our subconscious is running the show and it loves things that are familiar, even if the thing that’s familiar really hurts. So if deep down we believe that love means taking care of everything, right, or safety means just pushing it under the rug, or just ignoring thing