Today’s topic centers around a book written by my guest, Dr. Margo Lowy. She has researched and written about maternal ambivalence, including how to understand it and why it remains a taboo subject. We will discuss destigmatizing uncomfortable feelings and normalize the understanding that motherhood is not “all or nothing.” We’ll cover the darker emotions of anger, guilt, and resentment, and we'll refute the myth of “the perfect mother” and recognize that motherhood can be viewed in different ways. Join us to learn more!

Dr. Margo Lowy is a psychotherapist specializing in mothering. She is the author of Maternal Ambivalence: The Loving Moments and Bitter Truths of Motherhood and her previous book, The Maternal Experience: Encounters with Ambivalence and Love. Dr. Lowy earned her doctorate from the University of South Wales in Sydney, Australia, and she has spoken on maternal ambivalence at universities and in media interviews worldwide. She is a columnist for Psychology Today, a member of PEN America, and a former advisor to the founder of the Australian Jewish Fertility Network (AJFN). As a mom of three adult children, she makes her home in NYC with her husband. 

Show Highlights:

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  Understanding maternal ambivalence and ALL the associated emotions

  
  


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  Motherhood, at its essence, involves complicated feelings.

  
  


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  Unrealistic expectations of mothers

  
  


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  In motherhood, we ONLY learn by making mistakes and repairing them.

  
  


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  Mothering means we make mistakes and learn from them.

  
  


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  Perfection is an impossible, rigid goal; we need humor and laughter in motherhood.

  
  


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  Children seeing us encounter challenges and NOT being perfect

  
  


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  Importance of discernment in social media messages

  
  


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  Finding your team and community

  
  


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  Emulating our mothers vs. finding our own mothering style 

  
  


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  When it’s hard to give yourself a pat on the back

  
  


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  Understanding the value of difficult emotions

  
  


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  Indicators of maternal ambivalence

  
  


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  An example of advocating for YOUR motherhood journey

  
  


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  Dr. Lowy’s practical advice to mothers

  
  

Resources:

Connect with Dr. Margo Lowy

 Website, Instagram

Dr. Lowy’s Books 

Maternal Ambivalence: The Loving Moments and Bitter Truths of Motherhood

The Maternal Experience: Encounters with Ambivalence and Love

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov.

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. 

There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services.

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms.

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course. 

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today! 

If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients

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