DiscoverThe SqueezeAllison Holker: The Silent Struggles
Allison Holker: The Silent Struggles

Allison Holker: The Silent Struggles

Update: 2024-05-29
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This podcast episode continues to explore the journey of grief and resilience with the guest, a dancer and wife of a renowned dancer. She shares her honest reflections on her current relationship with dance, acknowledging that she hasn't fully returned to it yet but feels it will be an important part of her healing process. The conversation then shifts to her children's book, "Keep Dancing Through," and the decision to release it despite the emotional weight it carries. She emphasizes the importance of the message for her children and the hope that it will resonate with others. The episode concludes with a series of insightful questions and answers, revealing the guest's strength, her perspective on self-care, and the profound impact her children have had on her mental health. She emphasizes the importance of being honest about emotions, finding joy in the simple things, and embracing the journey of life, even amidst challenges.

Outlines

00:00:00
Introduction

This Chapter introduces the podcast and its guest, a dancer who shares her personal experiences with mental health and grief.

00:06:23
Dancing as a Calling

This Chapter explores the guest's journey into dancing, her inspiration from her sister, and how she discovered storytelling through dance.

00:08:57
Auditioning for 'So You Think You Can Dance'

This Chapter recounts the guest's audition experience for the popular dance show and how it impacted her career.

00:11:38
Meeting Stephen 'tWitch' Boss

This Chapter details the guest's first encounter with her future husband, Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, and their unique connection.

00:15:09
Stephen's Energy and Impact

This Chapter explores the guest's admiration for Stephen's energy and how he made people feel seen, heard, and loved.

00:23:55
Stephen's Mental Health Struggles

This Chapter discusses the guest's observations of Stephen's mental health struggles and the societal pressures he faced.

00:26:24
Supporting Men's Mental Health

This Chapter delves into the importance of therapy and open communication for men's mental health and the societal pressures they face.

00:39:20
Navigating Grief as a Parent

This Chapter explores the guest's experience with grief after her husband's passing, the challenges of navigating it in the public eye, and the importance of open dialogue with her children.

00:52:09
Returning to Dance

This Chapter delves into the guest's current relationship with dance, acknowledging that she hasn't fully returned to it yet but feels it will be an important part of her healing process.

00:53:55
Releasing 'Keep Dancing Through'

This Chapter discusses the guest's decision to release her children's book, "Keep Dancing Through," despite the emotional weight it carries. She emphasizes the importance of the message for her children and the hope that it will resonate with others.

Keywords

Stephen 'tWitch' Boss
Stephen 'tWitch' Boss was an American dancer, actor, and television personality. He was best known for his appearances on the dance competition show 'So You Think You Can Dance' and as a DJ and co-host on 'The Ellen DeGeneres Show.' He was a beloved figure in the entertainment industry and known for his positive energy and infectious smile.

Mental Health
Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and behave. It is essential for overall health and well-being, and it is important to prioritize mental health just as we do physical health.

Grief
Grief is a natural human response to loss. It can manifest in a variety of ways, including sadness, anger, guilt, and loneliness. It is a complex and individual process, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It is important to allow yourself to feel your emotions and seek support from loved ones or professionals.

Therapy
Therapy is a form of treatment that involves working with a mental health professional to address emotional, psychological, or behavioral issues. It can provide a safe space to explore thoughts and feelings, develop coping mechanisms, and improve overall well-being.

Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage one's own emotions and the emotions of others. It involves self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills. It is an essential skill for building healthy relationships and navigating life's challenges.

Open Communication
Open communication is the ability to express thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly, while also actively listening to and understanding the perspectives of others. It is essential for building trust, resolving conflicts, and fostering healthy relationships.

Support System
A support system is a network of people who provide emotional, practical, or social support. It can include family, friends, colleagues, or community members. Having a strong support system is crucial for navigating life's challenges and maintaining overall well-being.

Public Figure
A public figure is an individual who is well-known and often in the public eye. They may be celebrities, politicians, athletes, or other individuals who have a significant public profile. Public figures often face unique challenges related to privacy, scrutiny, and the pressure to maintain a positive image.

Paso Robles
Paso Robles is a city in San Luis Obispo County, California, known for its wine country and rolling hills. It is a popular destination for wine tasting, dining, and outdoor recreation.

So You Think You Can Dance
So You Think You Can Dance is a popular dance competition television series that showcases talented dancers from various dance styles. The show has been running for over a decade and has launched the careers of many successful dancers.

Keep Dancing Through
"Keep Dancing Through" is a children's book written by the guest and her children, inspired by the life and legacy of her late husband, Stephen 'tWitch' Boss. The book encourages children to embrace the ups and downs of life with resilience and a positive outlook.

Q&A

  • What are some of the societal pressures that men face when it comes to mental health?

    Men are often expected to be strong, stoic, and the providers for their families and communities. This can lead to a sense of pressure to suppress their emotions and avoid seeking help when they are struggling.

  • How can we create a more supportive environment for men's mental health?

    We can encourage open communication about mental health, normalize therapy, and create safe spaces for men to express their emotions without fear of judgment.

  • What advice would you give to parents who are navigating grief with their children?

    It is important to have open and honest conversations with your children about grief, even if it is difficult. Allow them to express their emotions and provide them with support and understanding. Remember that grief is a process, and it is okay to take things one day at a time.

  • How can we teach children about emotional intelligence?

    We can model healthy emotional expression, provide them with tools to identify and manage their emotions, and create a safe space for them to talk about their feelings.

  • What is the importance of having a strong support system?

    A strong support system can provide emotional, practical, and social support during challenging times. It can help individuals cope with stress, navigate difficult situations, and maintain overall well-being.

  • How did the guest's experience with grief impact her relationship with her children?

    The guest shared that she and her children have had open and honest conversations about grief, which has helped them to understand and process their emotions together. She believes that this open dialogue has been instrumental in their healing process.

  • What is the guest's perspective on the public's reaction to her husband's passing?

    The guest acknowledges that the public's outpouring of love for her husband has been both heartwarming and overwhelming. She recognizes that seeing her and her children without him can be triggering for some people, and she is working to help them adjust to this new reality.

  • How has the guest's experience with grief changed her perspective on self-care?

    The guest has learned the importance of prioritizing self-care and recognizing that it is essential for being able to love and support others. She believes that taking care of oneself first allows one to be a better partner, parent, and friend.

  • What is the guest's advice for navigating grief?

    The guest encourages individuals to allow themselves to feel their emotions, seek support from loved ones or professionals, and remember that grief is a process. She believes that it is important to be patient with oneself and to allow time for healing.

  • What is the guest's perspective on the role of dance in her life?

    The guest recognizes that dance has always been a powerful outlet for her to express her emotions and connect with others. However, she is still processing her husband's passing and has not yet returned to dancing in the same capacity. She believes that she will eventually find her way back to dance, but she is taking her time to heal and learn from her experience.

  • What is the guest's favorite form of self-care?

    The guest enjoys cold plunging and working out every day. She finds these activities to be non-negotiable and essential for her well-being.

  • What is the most misunderstood thing about the guest?

    The guest believes that her strength is often misunderstood. She feels that people sometimes see her as unrelatable, but she emphasizes that her strength comes from being a parent and having to be strong for her children.

  • Who has had the most positive impact on the guest's mental health?

    The guest credits her children, especially her oldest daughter, for having a profound positive impact on her mental health. She shares that her daughter has been a source of strength and support, and she has learned valuable lessons about resilience and compassion from her children.

  • If the guest could go back to one moment in her life, what would it be and what would she say to herself?

    The guest would go back to her younger self when she was 20 and feeling lonely. She would tell herself that everything will be okay and that she will be alright.

Show Notes

This week the Lautners are joined by dancer and choreographer Allison Holker! Allison talks about her audition process for So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD) and what drew her to her late husband, Stephen "tWitch" Boss. She openly shares how Stephen's ability to give so much love and life to everyone around him ultimately took a toll on his well-being, then talks about the subtle signs that indicated he was struggling with his mental health. Allison and the Taylors discuss the large stigma that continues to surround men's mental health and stress the importance of going to therapy, even when you may feel like everything “feels fine”. Allison explains how she has navigated grief as an individual and as a parent while being in the public eye, then offers heartfelt advice for other parents with kids who are grieving. Finally, Allison talks about her relationship with dance now, her favorite form of self-care, and what she has learned from her children over the years. We hope you enjoy this powerful and vulnerable episode!


Be sure to follow Allison @allisonholker! To email us your questions or share your story, you can reach out to lautner.thesqueezepodcast@gmail.com. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast so you don't miss an episode! Plus, follow us on Instagram, @thesqueeze and personally @taylautner and @taylorlautner + on TikTok @thesqueezepodcast To learn more from The Lemons Foundation, follow @lemonsbytay on Instagram and visit lemonsbytay.com


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Allison Holker: The Silent Struggles

Allison Holker: The Silent Struggles