Etiquette, by Emily Post, Part 6

Etiquette, by Emily Post, Part 6

Update: 2024-06-031
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This episode of Boring Books for Bedtime delves into the intricacies of social etiquette as outlined in Emily Post's "Etiquette." The episode focuses on the proper way to leave cards, pay visits, and navigate the complexities of formal invitations. The episode begins by explaining the meaning of "not at home" when a servant answers the door, emphasizing that it simply means the lady of the house is not available to receive visitors. The episode then explores the history and modern practices of leaving cards, including the appropriate number of cards to leave and the proper etiquette for both formal and informal visits. The episode also provides a detailed guide to formal invitations, including the correct wording and format for wedding invitations, announcements, and replies. The episode concludes with a reminder that the book is available as a free e-book from Project Gutenberg, encouraging listeners to connect with the podcast and suggest future readings.

Outlines

00:00:00
Introduction

This Chapter introduces the episode and welcomes listeners to another episode of "Boring Books for Bedtime." The host expresses hope that the chosen book will provide the necessary boredom for listeners to relax and fall asleep.

00:00:41
Etiquette in Society

This Chapter delves into the intricacies of social etiquette as outlined in Emily Post's "Etiquette." The episode focuses on the proper way to leave cards, pay visits, and navigate the complexities of formal invitations.

00:38:51
Invitations, Acceptances, and Regrets

This Chapter provides a detailed guide to formal invitations, including the correct wording and format for wedding invitations, announcements, and replies. The episode covers various aspects of wedding invitations, including the use of crests, the proper wording, the double envelope system, and the inclusion of train cards. It also discusses the etiquette for answering wedding invitations and the proper form for acceptances and regrets.

Keywords

Emily Post
Emily Post (1873-1960) was an American author and etiquette expert. She is best known for her book "Etiquette," which was first published in 1922 and became a bestseller. Post's book established her as a leading authority on social graces and manners, and her work continues to be influential today. Her book covers a wide range of topics, including dining etiquette, dress codes, social correspondence, and the proper way to behave in various social situations. Post's writing is known for its clarity, wit, and practicality, and her advice remains relevant even in the modern era. She is considered a pioneer in the field of etiquette and her work has helped to shape American social customs for generations.

Etiquette
Etiquette refers to the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession or group. It encompasses a wide range of social norms and expectations, including manners, dress, speech, and social interactions. Etiquette is often considered a reflection of one's upbringing, social standing, and respect for others. It plays a crucial role in fostering harmonious relationships and creating a positive social environment. While etiquette can vary across cultures and time periods, certain fundamental principles remain universal, such as showing respect, being courteous, and avoiding offensive behavior.

Visiting Cards
Visiting cards, also known as calling cards, were a traditional form of social communication in the 19th and early 20th centuries. They were small, engraved cards that individuals would leave at the homes of acquaintances or friends as a way of conveying their presence and expressing their social intentions. Leaving cards was a formal way of initiating or maintaining social relationships, and the act of leaving a card carried specific social meanings. For example, leaving a card with a corner turned down indicated a visit for all the ladies in the family, while leaving a card with a message written on it conveyed a specific purpose, such as condolences or congratulations. The practice of leaving cards has largely declined in modern times, but it remains a fascinating glimpse into the social customs of a bygone era.

Formal Invitations
Formal invitations are written communications used to invite individuals to special events, such as weddings, dinners, or formal gatherings. They are typically written in the third person and adhere to specific rules of etiquette regarding wording, format, and response. Formal invitations are often engraved or printed on high-quality paper and enclosed in two envelopes. They are considered a more formal and traditional way of extending an invitation compared to informal invitations, which may be sent via email or text message. The use of formal invitations is often associated with events that require a higher level of formality and social decorum.

Wedding Invitations
Wedding invitations are formal invitations sent to guests to invite them to a wedding ceremony and/or reception. They are typically engraved on white note paper and enclosed in two envelopes. The wording of a wedding invitation is highly specific and follows strict etiquette guidelines. The invitation should request the "honor of your presence" and include the names of the bride and groom, the date and time of the ceremony, the location, and the RSVP information. Wedding invitations are often accompanied by additional cards, such as train cards or pew cards, depending on the nature of the wedding. The design and format of wedding invitations can vary, but they are generally considered to be a significant part of the wedding planning process and a reflection of the couple's style and taste.

Q&A

  • What does it mean when a servant says "not at home" when someone rings the doorbell?

    It means the lady of the house is not available to receive visitors, but it doesn't necessarily mean she's out of the house. She might be resting, occupied, or simply not wanting to see guests at that moment.

  • What are the proper etiquette rules for leaving visiting cards?

    You should leave a card for each lady in the house, and a card of your husband's and sons for each lady in gentlemen. The maximum number of cards to leave is three of any one type. You should also write the lady's name in pencil across the top of your card if leaving it at a hotel or apartment house.

  • What is the correct format for a formal wedding invitation?

    Formal wedding invitations are always written in the third person and should request the "honor of your presence." They are typically engraved on white note paper and enclosed in two envelopes. The invitation should include the names of the bride and groom, the date and time of the ceremony, the location, and the RSVP information.

  • What is the difference between a wedding invitation to the ceremony and a wedding invitation to the reception?

    An invitation to the ceremony only requires no answer, while an invitation to the reception or breakfast is answered on the first page of a sheet of note paper, following the same spacing as if it were engraved.

Show Notes

Let’s return to this relaxing classic and learn more sleepy advice about paying visits, leaving cards, proper wedding invitations, and how to sit in a chair. Dear listeners, it seems your reader had no idea.

 

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Read “Etiquette” at Project Gutenberg: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14314

 

Music: "Boring Books for Bedtime,” by Lee Rosevere, licensed under CC BY, https://leerosevere.bandcamp.com

 

If you'd like to suggest a copyright-free reading for soft-spoken relaxation to help you overcome insomnia, anxiety and other sleep issues, connect on our website, http://www.boringbookspod.com.

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Etiquette, by Emily Post, Part 6

Etiquette, by Emily Post, Part 6