You’re listening to Burnt Toast. This is the podcast where we talk about diet culture, fatphobia, parenting and health. I am Virginia Sole-Smith and I also write the Burnt Toast newsletter.

And it’s time for your January Ask Us Anything with Corinne. This is a good one! We are getting into language around weight, cozy clothes, how to be a good ally, how to raise your thin kids not to be assholes to fat people. It’s really all here. You’re going to enjoy it.

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Episode 78 Transcript

Virginia

So we’re going to do some New Year’s questions. 

Corinne

Happy New Year’s! Happy 2023!

Virginia

This is that artificial podcaster thing. Corinne and I are still in December. We’re recording in advance. 

Corinne

Mentally, we’re already in 2023.

Virginia

So we’re going to do some New Year’s questions because folks sent them in. The New Year’s thing both is the same every year and also a new level of hell every year. Is that how you feel about it?

Corinne

My birthday is also in January so I feel like the December/New Year’s/birthday is always just a whirlwind of trying to fix my life and failing.

Virginia

You’re forced to take stock in all these different ways you don’t really want to be doing.

Corinne

I feel like if you have a birthday in another part of the year, you get another chance to reset during the year. But I have to do it all in January.

Virginia

You don’t get another shot for twelve months. That’s it. 

Corinne

It’s my only chance to do any planning, goal setting.

Virginia

That’s funny. Well, happy birthday! By the time this airs, it will have happened.

Corinne

I am now… 37.

Virginia

You can say it out loud. This is a pro-aging podcast.

Corinne

I’m the age where you have to do math to remember how old you are.

Virginia

For sure. I’ve been there for a while and it doesn’t get easier.

Corinne

Q: Do you have any ideas about fun ways to buffer yourself from New Year’s, New You diet culture bullshit?

Virginia

I don’t know if it’s fun, but I do think it’s a good time to spend a little less time online, because that’s where the noise is. Making plans that will give you something to do other than doom scroll.

Corinne

I was going to say take a little time to unsubscribe from every email that says “New Year, New You.”

Virginia

There can be something so satisfying about using that as a catalyst because some brands you don’t think are terrible and then you get their January email and they show you their true colors. So it’s a nice opportunity. And it can be very cathartic to be like “unsubscribe, goodbye.”

Corinne

I sort of like the part of New Year that’s reflecting on last year and planning for the year ahead. So I think it can be fun to do some goal setting or planning.

Virginia

I agree. This is something I want to think more about and maybe write about at some point. Because I do think it’s like a chicken and egg thing. Is the New Year opportunity to reset and reflect, is that something diet culture invented? Or is it something diet culture co-opted? You know what I mean?

Corinne

 Yeah, definitely. 

Virginia

And if it’s the latter, then there’s something powerful in reclaiming it because I am someone who sets goals for the year. They tend to be work-related. But sometimes I set a personal goal or intention. 

Corinne

Even like, go on a vacation.

Virginia

Or I want to get into a fun new hobby, like knitting or puzzles. I think there can be something really great about that. But it’s so easy for all of these things to get twisted, right? 

Corinne

One goal I had last year was to pick up the dog poop in my backyard as it happened, rather than like…

Virginia

Letting it pile up and then being like, yeah, we’ve got to do it?

Corinne

It’s too gross to even talk about, but yeah.

Virginia

I think a lot of pet owners see you. We have a litter box that can get similar.

Corinne

Yeah. But now I’m thinking about what KC Davis was saying about if it works for you, maybe just let it work for you.

Virginia

If this is your system, embrace that it’s your system. That was so helpful. So that’s actually an interesting twist on the New Year’s thing, too. Instead of setting a goal to change something, can you set a goal to give yourself permission to keep doing something?

Corinne

Right! Or just accept the way you are. 

Virginia

Just be like, this is something that works for me even though it is perhaps unconventional or doesn’t match up to whatever standards. Oh, I like that a lot. 

Q: What was your best New Year’s Eve, and maybe your worst?

You’re laughing, so you go first. 

Corinne

I’m laughing but I feel like I don’t have a great answer! For me New Year’s Eve is always one of those holidays where you have really high expectations and it’s always a letdown. My best in recent memory was like a couple of years ago when I had no plans for New Year’s Eve and I just had friends over for dinner and we had a very chill dinner and did a little tarot card reading.

Virginia

Oh, that sounds so nice.

Corinne

It was very fun and last minute and easy. And worst? God I’m sure there is a worst and and nothing is coming to mind. I’m sure involved a terrible hangover on January 1. 

Virginia

I am weirdly romantic about New Year’s Eve and I blame Forrest Gump. I feel like when I saw Forrest Gump, there’s that scene where they’re like counting down New Year’s in the bar and the hooker—I think she’s a hooker? I don’t want to make assumptions. The lady that he was talking to gets this kind of wistful look on her face and she says everyone gets a second chance at New Year’s. It’s like a core memory from my childhood. She’s a truth speaker and so I’ve always been kind of romantic about New Years. But that led to being very disappointed about New Year’s plans often. 

Corinne

Yeah, it seems like it should be this really cool thing and it’s always like, well everyone is tired from Christmas.

Virginia

But I will say when we were in our 20s and we lived in New York City still—I actually might totally be retconning this—we did throw a New Year’s party every year and I have memories of it being this epic time and that I did have a few of those new year’s that were like, the big party, beautiful memory. I don’t know if that’s actually right or if I just like to look back on that.

Corinne

Someone from Virginia’s past needs to write in and let us know. 

Virginia

I mean, I know for sure there was one where… oh, I might get a text about this. Amy Palanjian and I split a bottle of tequila. This is a hilarious story for everyone who follows Yummy Toddler Food.

Corinne

Keep going. I feel like there’s more to that story.

Virginia

Okay I’m telling the story because it’s mostly humiliating for me, not Amy. Dan was in a comedy group and he was performing so we had to go to a late night comedy show, which is like a big ask for me and my attention span and feelings about improv comedy. Dan is very funny, but improv comedy is a mixed bag.

So we were going out to the show and then on to a party, and she came over to get ready with me. And we made some cocktail that was tequila-based and many other kinds of juices and put it in—because also Amy’s very outdoorsy— a Nalgene bottle for hiking. So it was hard to manage your intake. And that is the night where at the show I got thrown up on by a drunker person.

Corinne

I really thought you were going to be the one doing that.

Virginia

Well, the rest of the night took a turn and my only memory is lying on the sidewalk and having to be escorted home. It was terrible.

Corinne

Oh no! Laying on the sidewalk is serious.

Virginia

I’ve never drank tequila since. I have zero interest. Zero. Oh wait, is tequila in margaritas?

Corinne

 Yes. 

Virginia

Okay, so I’ve had a little bit.

Corinne

 But never out of a Nalgene again. 

Virginia

Never out of a Nalgene. And what I will say, just to shore up her brand now is I think Amy was a really good mom even then. This was was well b