DiscoverHow To Fail With Elizabeth DayMalala Yousafzai - I Am Not Who You Think I Am
Malala Yousafzai - I Am Not Who You Think I Am

Malala Yousafzai - I Am Not Who You Think I Am

Update: 2025-11-05
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You might think you know about Malala. But you’d be wrong. For so many years, she stood as a symbol of resistance: the teenage girl who was shot by the Taliban for insisting on the right to go to school and who later won the Nobel Prize at 17 for her efforts to make education available for everyone.






But there was another story that existed behind the headlines: the story of a young woman who was only just understanding who she was. Now 28, Malala has published a new book, Finding My Way which describes some of that extraordinary journey.






In this episode we discuss her panic attack after smoking a bong at Oxford (and how this retriggered undiagnosed PTSD), what friendship taught her, her views on marriage and how they’ve changed, as well as the sadness she carries for Afghanistan and all the women who are denied an education around the world. Plus: how she fell in love with a hot cricketer.






This is such a powerful conversation and Malala is also funny, warm and incredibly wise. You will laugh. You might cry. But whatever happens, you’ll emerge with a new perspective on life.




✨ IN THIS EPISODE:


00:00 Introduction


01:27 Recovery and Continued Education


05:12 College Life and First Experiences


07:03 Mental Health and Panic Attack


11:09 Academic Struggles and Social Life


17:48 Reflections on Friendship and Cultural Pressures


26:02 Reflecting on Nasin's (her cousin’s) Struggles


27:49 Reflections on Life Choices


30:14 Marriage: A Journey of Doubts and Discoveries


31:47 Redefining Marriage Norms


34:36 Contemplating Motherhood


37:04 The Fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban


44:27 Global Crises and Personal Reflections






💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER:




I realised that my learning was not limited to just reading articles and books. It's really your friends who make you comfortable because they don't judge you. They don't see you with any title. They see you beyond all of that.




What you wear is your choice. Nobody should be deciding that for you and we need to give more freedom to women to make these decisions for themselves and respect their decisions… It is okay to question these things to take your time, and in the end, whatever decision you make for yourself, that is your choice.




The fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban is a story of failure to me, failure of all of us.






🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS:


The Malala Fund - www.malala.org


Join the How To Fail community: https://howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content


Elizabeth’s Substack: https://theelizabethday.substack.com/




📚 WANT MORE?


Greta Thunberg - Greta talked about her inability to be a “normal teenager”, her frustration with the lack of political action on the climate crisis, and how she copes with being thrust into the global spotlight. http://swap.fm/l/GretaThunberg


Kazuo Ishiguro - a fellow Nobel Laureate talks about outsidership, writing The Remains of the Day and why he’ll never forget a toy chicken. https://link.chtbl.com/zu0kLq-0




💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE?


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👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth:


Instagram: @elizabday


TikTok: @howtofailpod


Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod


Website: www.elizabethday.org




Elizabeth and Malala answer YOUR questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: howtofailpod.com






Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com






Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan


Engineer: Matias Torres


Assistant Producer: Suhaar Ali


Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot


Executive Producer: Carly Maile






How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.


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Malala Yousafzai - I Am Not Who You Think I Am

Malala Yousafzai - I Am Not Who You Think I Am

Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment