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Savage Lovecast

Author: Dan Savage

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Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savagelovecast.com and get yourself a season subscription.
727 Episodes
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A woman is still friendly with her ex-husband. So friendly that she sends him nudes which he pays for. But she just learned that he's re-married! Is it unethical to continue this naughty exchange? A woman begs Dan to tell her to break up with her emotionally shut-down boyfriend. Dan obliges. Dan chats with 24/7 sub goddess Lina Dune about the healing power of safe, sane, consensual kink. A little of the conversation is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum. And a woman notices that her boyfriend never gets hard when he goes down on her. And he doesn't do it very often. Is there anything she can do to make her lovely vag irresistible? 206-302-3064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought toy by Tushy- the modern bidet attachment that washes your ass completely. Go to and get 10% off your order with promo code SAVAGE. Stop wiping and start washing with TUSHY. This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
A woman was babysitting her neighbor's 3 year-old daughter. The girl took her clothes off and started touching herself. Should the caller say something to the parents? Is this behavior a red flag for abuse? Or is this just how the 3 year-olds roll? A man with a very girthy penis can't come without extended penis-in-vagina action. But sometimes his ladies can't handle it. He started faking his orgasms. Any other solutions here? On the Magnum version of the show, Caitlin Doughty (host of Ask a Mortician on YouTube,) is on to discuss how the pandemic is changing the way we handle funerals, grieving and possible positive changes in the death industry. She is the most charming goth mortician you'll ever encounter. And, in the response calls, our ever-pragmatic listeners offer great suggestions on how to make a bed work for three people. 206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
Savage Love Episode 724

Savage Love Episode 724

2020-09-0851:241

A woman has had a LOT of sex, mostly with men. But she is realizing that she is truly only attracted to women. The problem is, when she talks to a hot woman, she starts stuttering and stammering in terror. How can she grow to be comfortable in her true skin? A man's girlfriend fantasizes that she's a gay man when they have sex. Does this mean she's trans? She insists she's all woman, but the caller is worried, worried, worried. On the Magnum, a deep dive onto vaginas (yup!) with Dr. Jen Gunter, author of The Vagina Bible. She and Dan discuss tipped uteruses, HATING your boyfriend just before your period, and a rare ear-labia connection. Vaginas are weird and great! And, how can one make one's bed most comfortable for three? 206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Earnest: Earnest makes it easy to refinance your student loans. Get a $100 cash bonus when you refinance a student loan at . Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. This episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by Babbel: the new way to learn a foreign language. Right now, when you purchase a three month subscription, Babbel will give our listeners 3 additional months for FREE with Promo Code: SAVAGE
A woman's husband had low testosterone, so he started taking T. But then, he turned into a total asshole! Is this normal? Is this just what testosterone does? A trans woman has not yet had bottom surgery. While she waits, how can she find a woman who would want her as she is now, and how she will be later? On the Magnum, Dan chats with sex researcher Alexandra Marcotte about her study looking at how men and women differ in their enjoyment of dick pics. A woman has a girlfriend but they don't live together. The caller is very cautious about covid-19: She wipes all her groceries down, sterilizes the doorknobs- that sort of thing. Meanwhile, her girlfriend's roommates are going out to bars, throwing caution to the wind. How can the caller try to limit contact? Is there a huge fight in their future? Open your wallets and go to 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Hello Fresh. Get fresh, pre-measured ingredients and mouthwatering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door. Get $80 off your first box when you go to .
A woman started dating a transman. But then his personality completely changed. I this just a trans thing? Or a coincidence? A verse dyke working as a nanny in an uptight conservative community can't find any other lesbians. She's so horny she would settle for a man. But how can she find someone willing to be her "walking dildo?" On the Magnum, a deep dive into cuckolding, with the utterly charming Venus from the Venus Cuckoldress Podcast. What drives a man to be turned on watching his partner get together with other men? What's in it for the woman? It's a wild, wild world and Venus takes us through it. And blechhhh! Her man douses himself in cologne. She HATES the smell of cologne. He knows this, and still pours buckets of expensive chemicals on himself to mask his natural, lovely body scent. Why? Why do they do this? Our caller is worried about hurting his feelings. So she sits there and suffers. If you smell something, say something. 206-302-2064 voicemail@savagelovecast.com Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to . ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to get $10 off your first order.
Savage Love Episode 721

Savage Love Episode 721

2020-08-1855:232

Have you ever gone snorkeling...naked? On a long anticipated second date? She has. Hear ALL about it... A woman's sister is *still* planning her 100 person wedding for this October. Will covid-19 be over by then? Certainly not. So should the caller go or tell her stupid sister to postpone her stupid wedding already? On the Magnum, Dan chats with clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. David Ley, about the difference between sex addiction and kinks. And, can extroverts successfully date introverts? Voicemail@savageloivecast.com           206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage. This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
A man's new boyfriend is really great in every way! Except...he believes in mythical creatures, thinks he has super-powers and that the government is communicating with him through the radio. So, should the caller leave his mentally ill new boyfriend or try to get him some help? Meanwhile, a woman's sister has started dating a "professional" astrologer who had gotten kicked out of the marines, believes in conspiracy theories and wants to move to Mexico with the caller's sister after dating for just a few months. How can the caller help her stubborn sister see all those red flags a'flappin'? On the Magnum, It's a generational battle royale! Dan chats with Jill Filipovic author of "Ok Boomer, Let's Talk" in a Millennial vs Boomer sex-advice smack down! (Just kidding. They agree on pretty much everything.) Filipovic's book goes into the ways the younger generations have been shafted by the olds. Time to seize power, youngun's! A bi man's boyfriend is being driven crazy by his new neighbor. She has noisy sex at all hours, disrupting the boyfriend's sleep and work life. Should they have ear-piercing retaliatory sex to teach her a lesson? voicemail@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Earnest: Earnest makes it easy to refinance your student loans. Get a $100 cash bonus when you refinance a student loan at e. Terms apply. This episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by : the new way to learn a foreign language. Right now, when you purchase a three month subscription, Babbel will give our listeners 3 additional months for FREE with Promo Code: SAVAGE
Our opening covid-19 "sexcess" story is extra special this week. You will never think of Tollhouse cookies the same way again. Don't you hate it when your brother-in-law steals your underpants, and uses them to jack off? This little sordid story only gets worse. On the Magnum, meet the dominatrix who commands her clients to read Black feminist theory. Mistress Velvet and Dan discuss performative wokeness, allies vs. accomplices, and the transformative power of S&M among many other things. Mistress Velvet knows her shit. Obey her and listen in. And a woman and her boyfriend keep breaking the bed! Is there a bed frame out there that can withstand this couple's vigorous rutting? This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE.   Today's episode is brought to you by Dirty Diana- a new sex positive, fictional podcast starring Demi Moore and created by Shana Feste. It's a show for all of us who are craving connection and searching for a new kind of erotica. Check it out at   This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to .
Savage Love Episode 718

Savage Love Episode 718

2020-07-2851:431

An Irish man has found dating success with his "personal operating manual." After the second date or so, he slides over a piece of paper delineating his likes and dislikes, in bed and out. It cuts through a lot of clutter, says he. For those of you separated from your loved ones because of travel restrictions, there could be some hope maybe? Dan chats with Chelsea from "Love is Not Tourism" a group working to allow stipulations for folks who want to reunite with their beloveds in other countries. A kindly aunt has been counseling her newly out niece. The niece and her mother don't get along. Is it wrong for the caller to step in and chaperone her niece on her first date with a slightly older girl? And, one hot day, a woman found her "nubbin" tingling when she thought about ice cream for a second. Panic ensues. Is she some kind of ice cream fetishizing pervert? Her girlfriend tells her to chill out. So do we. Voicemail@savagelovecast.com     206-302-2064 This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Hello Fresh. Get fresh, pre-measured ingredients and mouthwatering seasonal recipes delivered right to your door. Get $80 off your first box when you go to . This episode is brought to you by Earnest: Earnest makes it easy to refinance your student loans. Get a $100 cash bonus when you refinance a student loan at . Terms apply.
Savage Love Episode 717

Savage Love Episode 717

2020-07-2151:001

A man has been with his boyfriend for a year. The boyfriend's supposedly straight roommate gives intimate hugs and drops obvious homo hints when he's drunk. The caller doesn't like him or trust him. Does he have to put up with this? This lady likes a giant, huge, enormous, really big penis. She proposes a hack for when she's with a more modestly endowed gentleman. Could she insert a yoni egg inside her vagina, to simulate that Big Dick feeling? Would this work? Dan? On the Magnum, we welcome the Kinsey Institute's Justin Lehmiller. Dan and Dr. Lehmiller discuss the difficulty of stating your sexual desires to a partner when your desires are...weird.  Or disturbing. It's tough out there for a closet kinkster. Dr. Lehmiller's rational thinking and soothing voice are a balm in these confusing times. Finally, a man is dating a woman he really likes. But her parents are Trump supporters. She claims she isn't going to vote at all in November. (!!!) Is she a secret Trump supporter? Does he have the right to demand she vote for Biden? Does this rise to DTMFA levels? Voicemail@savagelovecast.com      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to . This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
A young gay man is having a great time with his boyfriend who is 14 years older than him. Can it last? How? On the Magnum, be charmed by comedian Jay Jurden. We were. Jay and Dan talk about gays, three-ways and Catholic guilt, among other things. A woman has a fantasy of being "taken" by an older man with power over her. But wouldn't any man who acts this out with her be a total creep? Finally, are there dog toys sold in pet stores that are secretly meant to be sex toys? For humans? Voicemail@savagelovecast.com           206-302-2064 This episode of the Lovecast is brought to you by : the new way to learn a foreign language. Right now, when you purchase a three month subscription, Babbel will give our listeners 3 additional months for FREE with Promo Code: SAVAGE This episode is brought to you by Doordash. Get breakfast, lunch, dinner and more delivered from your favorite restaurants right to your doorstep with one easy click. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code SAVAGE. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to .
Hear the tale of the NB lesbian who snooped and found out that  the sex worker they want to hire makes more money than they do, and finds this unacceptable. (Confidential to the caller: you'll eventually get over the pummeling Dan gives you.) We were so honored to welcome Dr. Erin Berry -regional Medical Director of Planned Parenthood. Dan and Dr. Berry blasted through a bunch of your questions (HPV vaccine for men, molluscum, IUDs, bidets for women, more!) and of course they discussed abortion and the recent Supreme Court decision. Dr. Berry is a rock star. Some of it is on the Micro version and all of it is on the Magnum. Listen in. And, a queer woman enjoys using her strap-on as if it were a penis. But do gay men do the same? 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to and use the offer code Savage.
A gay married man faces a choice. He can keep his stable job, if he moves to...Kansas. Dan brings on Kansas State Representative Brandon Woodard to try to sell his state to the caller. At the top of this list of the midwestern state's redemptive qualities: Kansas is only 3 hours away from everywhere else! So, they've got that going for them. A woman is horrified that her husband wants to "suckle" her breasts as if she were lactating. "Just one time?" he begs. On the Magnum, Dan gushingly chats with public health super-hero Dr. Demetre Daskalakis. The dreamy Deputy Commissioner for Disease Control at the NYC Health Department is responsible for some of the most honest, rational, pro-sex messaging coming out of New York City, and Dan is nothing less than star-struck. Listen in. And, a woman with step-children found herself watching some step-mom porn. And she liked it! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? 206-302-2064   voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at . This episode is brought to you by Allform- premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door. For 20% off your perfect sofa, go to . This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Blue Apron. Check out this week’s menu at
Thongs! They are so sexy! But when used as a face mask at the hardware store, what then? A woman has been dating a guy for a few months. He has one of those giant penises you have heard about. So there's that. But he is also saying some troubling, racist and sexist things. So. Should she continue to see the big dick with a big dick? On the Magnum, Dan chats with women's health expert Dr. Tami Rowen about the near ubiquitous practice of pubic hair grooming. Why are so many women bush-whacking? Are there any benefits to leaving your "down there" hair alone? And, a man (with a lovely Irish accent) wants to have kids with his girlfriend, but doesn't want to live with her. Is there a way to maintain a relationship and co-parent from two separate houses?  ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial. The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to get $10 off your first order.
Oh Jesus Mary and Joseph, our opening sex during quarantine story is scorching hot this week, hoo boy. A woman is working from home with her boyfriend. He sets up his computer monitors with one screen always playing Twtich streams with young blonde hotties. Is the caller allowed to be annoyed by this? On the Magnum, sex toy expert and generally charming person Erika Moen is on to make a bunch of recommendations for gear to get you through these extremely challenging times. Also, what is up with sex dolls? A deep discussion ensues. A woman asked her man to dominate her. He responded "You suck at doing dishes!!" That's not what she had in mind. How can she teach him to boss her around sexily? 206-302-2064        voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to .
At a business meeting, an older, sophisticated gay man gave a presentation with a couple buttons of his jeans undone. Was he sending a message? If so, what? A woman has noticed that men are now wearing wedding rings on BOTH hands. Are they sending a message? If so, what? On the Magnum, it's a deep anal-sex hygiene dive with gay culture columnist Ty Mitchel. A caller wonders why the younger men he sleeps with have trouble keeping...fresh. Dan and Ty are here to help. And, a woman's roommate is going out and having casual hookups. During these 'Rona times, it puts the whole house at risk. How can she confront him about this? 206-302-2064     voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought toy by Tushy- the modern bidet attachment that washes your ass completely. Go to and get 10% off your order with promo code SAVAGE. Stop wiping and start washing with TUSHY. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women's sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to . This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to T and use the offer code Savage.
A remote controlled buttplug? In the bath? This pandemic is getting pretty fun! A woman asks a question that so many of us are also wondering: is it safe to be romantically intimate with someone who has already recovered from covid-19? When? Dan brings on the intrepid Dr. Barak to answer, and as usual hits him with a gnarly second question just to make the good doctor squirm. Are you a parent? Have you had some challenges raising your kids? Is your kid a foot fetishist? If you answered either yes or no to any of these questions, then you're going to want to listen in. And, a man in an open relationship feels empty and sad after he orgasms with anyone but his primary partner. How can he retrain his brain? Tickets to the Savage Lovecast Livestream are at www.savagelovecast.com/events Send your written questions ahead of time to livestream@savagelovecast.com 206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to get $10 off your first order.   ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . This episode of the Savage love cast is brought to you by Everlane: Luxury basic clothing and accessories, made at ethical factories without those retail markups. For free shipping, and to support the Lovecast, go to
A married couple in an open relationship used to enjoy glory holes at play parties. Then along came some covid-19. But did that stop them? Hell no! They grabbed the kids' old sheets and made a home glory hole. Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, America! A man's mother died when he was 13, and his father quickly re-married. He found a letter revealing that his father and step-mother had been having an affair before his mother died. Now what? His dad is sick and old. Should he confront him about it? On the Magnum version of the show, Dan interviews BDSM educator BlakSyn about kink and race play. How can you use words with a history of trauma, in a transformative, consensual way? Is it ever OK to use the word "slave?" What about the N-word? And, a 60 year-old man whispers about how he came 7 times the other night. He just wants you to know this.   Now we know. 206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought toy by Tushy- the modern bidet attachment that washes your ass completely. Go to and get 10% off your order with promo code SAVAGE. Stop wiping and start washing with TUSHY. This episode is brought to you by Allform- premium, customizable sofas and chairs shipped right to your door. For 20% off your perfect sofa, go to .
A married man is sick of his military husband being overseas all the time. How can they make their  chronically long-distance relationship work?   Ok, here's something you've all wondered: how do you get rid of sex dolls? Are they too toxic for the landfill? Is there a market for "gently used?"   On the Magnum, how are the poly people supposed to do their poly thing, right now? Dan chats with Diana Adams, a lawyer and mediator who specializes in LGBTQ and polyamorous families.   Is there a polite, non-confrontational, and effective way to ask a lover to delete your nudes? You know, before things get bad?   206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com   The Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Dame Products: a woman-founded sex toy company. Visit to check out Eva- the hands-free vibrator.   This episode is brought toy by Tushy- the modern bidet attachment that washes your ass completely. Go to and get 10% off your order with promo code SAVAGE. Stop wiping and start washing with TUSHY.   This podcast is brought to you by . Click on the microphone and enter "Savage" for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.
We open the show with a marital tale of delicious rug burn. It's the battle of the podcast Goliaths! Dan welcomes Marc Maron to the show, and the two engage in a civil debate about whether porn can be "addictive." Also, they discuss a very special piece of equipment. Some of this convo is on the Micro version and all of it is on the Magnum. He likes to wear womens' clothing when he spanks it. She thinks this makes him queer. He insists he's not. She says he should find a lady who likes that sort of thing. He says he only wants her. These are the kinds of arguments this couple has. A lesbian plans to propose to her girlfriend of 4 years. She wants to throw a giant "proposal party" with friends and family from far and wide as a surprise. She was planning on doing this soon. You know, during the pandemic? Will Dan talk her out it? God, let's hope so. 206-302-2064  voicemail@savagelovecast.com ThredUP is the world’s largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. For a limited time, get up to 30% off your first order at . Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to .   This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.
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Comments (24)

CHYNA HOPKINS

I was once a herpes patient, but now I have finally got rid of it with the help of Dr Edes herbal remedies. you can also get your self cured with this same remedy. Please feel free to share Your problems with him and don’t forget to tell him I did refer you to Him. Thanks. Dr Edes deals with (1)Alzheimer virus (2)Cancer (3)HIV (4)Herpes (5)Genital warts (6)ALS (7)Virginal infection (8)HPV (9)Hepatitis (10)Asthma Email him on dredeshome@gmail.com https://dredesherbalhome.weebly.com

Aug 11th
Reply

Derbassspieler

I loved that the tech savvy at risk youth sped up the outro 😂

Aug 7th
Reply (1)

Kevin Wages

great show!

Jul 9th
Reply

Kamille Martin

she was right on the money ..she lies and is it hard to fat into ash? i might just have to look into it i hate politics..

May 8th
Reply

Kirk Fontaine

great show 👍

Mar 5th
Reply (1)

Chris Sherwood

25:00 is some really good stuff!

Jan 15th
Reply

Manda Lyons

Do

Dec 17th
Reply

Charlie DaBear

oh my, I believe in theory and personal experience that full disclosure of any kind of past and ongoing issue cuz if it is a mental disorder it you know it's always an ongoing issue, is almost certainly necessary for a happy and healthy relationship. additionally, taking into account the prolonged euphoric state of our minds and the different mental state of someone at the beginning of the relationship and all of the good feelings that brings our lives, much of our instability and disorders are masked and hidden because of this new exciting, awesome thing that's in our lives but just like everything else is just temporary and eventually goes back to status quo. we got to be able to know our bodies well and become familiar with the moods we get into to identify and communicate when something does not feel right within us. doing this enables us to communicate that fact that this has nothing to do with anything around us or our partner at all but an internal tissue of something that happened to us in the past left unresolved and inevitably manifesting in ways that we don't understand or whatever you believe in that circumstance. do you think that might be essential for your partner to have the opportunity to handle the situation in a healthy way? also, I believe the one with the mental disorder has to be genuinely sympathetic and remorseful that this is happening and that we are not blaming them or ourselves but it's something we are dealing with and yeah we do feel bad about it and we communicate that, make plans for the future when it will happen again. start coming back after the fact in relating and explaining to your partner that they have nothing to do with this has shown to have monumental impacts on the partner's Outlook of the situation. this can then allows them to be sympathetic towards you since they are not feeling threatened by you and these situations and the sympathy is the base and foundation of the support that they're able and willing to give you. and be clear that they do not have to support it and they do not have to put up with it, they can set a boundary, a hard boundary on these instances and they should protect their boundaries and you can help them do that too by owning up to your actions saying I crossed your boundaries help them identify their boundaries. our disorder is never an excuse or means to justify any behavior and someone that is feeling genuinely remorseful and sympathetic to their partner's feeling will say sorry if they did something and that it is not ok to do that, period. it is my personal and snobby smelly opinion that if you are serious at all about having a healthy and growing relationship with somebody then you will be in dialogue about this type of ongoing issue and it will come up often and you'll talk about it often because that's what it is, that's our life.

Nov 2nd
Reply (1)

V was here

Love Dan, his podcast, his politics and his tush. Keep it up!

Oct 30th
Reply

Min Ta

I'm

Oct 24th
Reply

Sara

Eh..don't get into politics on a "Love cast" show please..

Apr 18th
Reply (5)

Alicia Perrine

Look up Brian Friedman, a dancer/choreographer on YouTube and everywhere else, for an awesome, confident bald-ish guy who inspires others everyday!

Mar 26th
Reply

Katie Anderson

I thoroughly enjoy this podcast, Dan Savage and the guests on the show. I find Dan's unfiltered, blatant honesty and point of view to be brilliantly refreshing and at times, extremely eye opening. Thank you for providing this podcast for people around the world and for sharing your perspective with both myself and other interested listeners!

Oct 18th
Reply

iTunes User

Pros: - same sort of entertaining questions and advice you'd expect if you're a fan of the column - Savage has radio experience, and is not painful to listen to, unlike the majority of novice podcasters Cons: - it's sometimes very difficult to understand the callers, as the sound quality of the calls can be very bad I've been a fan of his column for 10 years, and after listening to the first two episodes, I'd say this is a very promising podcast. I'll keep listening.

Aug 31st
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iTunes User

It's nice to see that Dan Savage is doing a podcast. Many years ago, he did a call-in radio program on KCMU (now KEXP) in Seattle called Savage Love Live. It was the funniest, experimental and informative hour of radio you could listen to late on a Sunday night. So, give him some time to find his feet in this format. At least you count on him to provide you with direct, honest, fair and insightful advice and information.

Aug 31st
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iTunes User

I've been reading Savage Love (the advice column) since...let's see, 1996. Ten years, wow. Anyway, in that time I've come to greatly admire Dan Savage's sexual advice. I've disagreed maybe a handful of times, but overall it has been frank, funny, and accurate, and served many people well. His language may be a bit shocking at first, but don't let that put you off-- it's just a way of approaching people's-- sometimes poignant, often bizarre-- dilemmas head-on with absolute honesty. The first podcast is a bit rocky (and in my opinion, too short), but I'm sure it will improve. You can call and leave questions for Dan to answer at 206-201-2720, and it's entirely anonymous if you want it to be.

Aug 31st
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