DiscoverThe Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice
The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice

Author: Sean Jameson

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Each week on the Bad Girl's Bible podcast, your host Sean Jameson interviews experts and professionals and everyone in between to teach you the tips and techniques you can use to improve your sex life and relationship or marriage. You'll also learn powerful insights on how to improve your dating and love life.
55 Episodes
If you’ve been struggling to achieve a perfectly equitable marriage, you’re not alone. Research shows that even couples who prioritize equality often find themselves fighting about fairness in their relationship. That was the experience of today’s guests, Nate and Kaley Klemp, two high-achieving individuals, who started their marriage believing in a model of fairness, only to discover that, in reality, that balance was virtually impossible to achieve. It was out of this frustration that they developed what they call The 80/80 Marriage, a model rooted in radical generosity and shared success, which led to them co-authoring the New York Times bestselling book The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship. I talk with Nate and Kaley about the concept of the 80/80 marriage, why fixating on fairness doesn’t work, and how adopting a mindset of radical generosity can transform your relationship. Our conversation also gets into key aspects of their book, like being intentional about each person’s role, creating explicit values, and setting priorities and boundaries together. Join us for a fascinating conversation on equality, radical generosity, and how to strive for an 80/80 relationship!   Key Points From This Episode:   •    Introducing today’s guests, Nate and Kaley Klemp. •    The story of how they met and got married. •    Why the first two years of their marriage were so challenging. •    The many ways couples fight about fairness and why it causes resentment. •    How they wrote the 80/80 Marriage together. •    The concept of an 80/80 relationship, and how it differs from one that is 50/50. •    Why it’s about striving for balance and radical generosity. •    Steps to creating the right mindset for an 80/80 marriage. •    How to create the structure for an 80/80 relationship. •    Building a bridge between mindset and structure through values. •    How to take a more intentional approach to your roles as a couple. •    Setting priorities and boundaries as a couple (and why it can be so liberating). •    Insights on what to do when you have an unwilling or reluctant partner. •    How to approach your partner about entering an 80/80 relationship. •    Nate’s new book Open: Living with an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World.   Quotes:   “We're really the first generation in all of human history, striving toward equal marriage. [0:05:39]   “There's no such thing as 160% of anything. The whole idea is [that] it doesn't make sense, [so] strive. And then, [with] both parties striving for 80%, you land somewhere in the space of balance.”  [0:11:18]   “There are no good or bad, or right or wrong, values. There are known and implicit values. When you have known, or explicit, or agreed to, values, then you have a north star, where you can build the structure of your relationship. When you have implicit values, it's very challenging.”  [0:23:54]   “Most couples have never taken that step back and [have] never thought from an intentional place: ‘How could we redesign our roles, such that [it] really works for both of us?’”  [0:28:05]   “For many couples, when even just one person shifts to 80/80, it opens up a new space for the other person, who might be the undercontributor, to contribute more and to be generous in turn.”  [0:37:11]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:   Nate Klemp Nate Klemp on LinkedIn Nate Klemp on X Kaley Klemp Kaley Klemp on LinkedIn Kaley Klemp on X The 80/80 Marriage The 80/80 Marriage on Instagram The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship Open: Living with an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World Bad Girls Bible Newsletter —
What does it really mean to be confident in the bedroom? On this episode, we are joined by Dr. Alison Ash, a trained, Trauma-Informed Intimacy Coach, Educator, and Founder of Dr. Aly helped pioneer research into the orgasm gap and has written books and articles on topics ranging from pleasure in heterosexual dynamics to queer identities and experiences. Join us for an insightful conversation that touches on many different aspects of sexual relationships. From self-discovery and the co-creation process, to dealing with shame and distinguishing it from guilt, our conversation is a deep dive into the fundamental elements of healthy, fulfilling sexual experiences. Dr. Aly demystifies the complex world of intimacy and the factors that all too often stand in its way. Thanks for listening!   Key Points From This Episode:   •    Introducing Dr. Alison Ash, Intimacy Coach, Educator, and Founder of the website, •    Her career journey which began in sociology before she found her true passion in education. •    The constant process of self-inquiry and self-discovery necessary for fulfilling sexual experiences. •    What it means to have the confidence to co-create your sexual experiences. •    How shame can damage our relationship to sex and our bodies. •    Empathy, reassurance, and normalization. •    Differentiating between guilt and shame. •    Three attributes of sex positivity. •    Components that make up sexual consent. •    Defining boundaries according to capacity. •    Tips for affirming a romantic partner. •    The role of self-deprecation in preventing intimacy. •    How communication can enhance emotional connection during sex. •    Tips for creating safety to share with your partner. •    What lies at the core of any sexual fantasy. •    Dr. Aly’s work and different options she offers for coaching and workshops. Quotes:   “Society at large is pretty bad at templating healthy intimacy skills, but it is a skill, like any skill, something we can get better at with proper instruction and practice.” [0:02:47]   “One of the first things I tell folks is that sexual empowerment comes from knowing yourself.” [0:04:26]   “Some of the best sex comes from having a mutual shared orientation towards exploring and not having to have all the answers.” [0:05:39]   “So much of feeling confident and sexually liberated, and having fulfilling sex and relationships is about uncovering the things that we feel ashamed about and moving through it.” [0:08:46]   “A lot of institutions try to teach through shame. I think it's way less effective and problematic as supposed to holding somebody with love and compassion, but still accountability for mistakes.” [0:13:59]   “An affirmation is a compliment on steroids.” [0:21:10]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: TurnOn Love — Dr. Alison Ash on LinkedIn — Dr. Alison Ash on Facebook — Dr. Alison Ash on Instagram — Dr. Alison Ash on X — Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Mastercourse — Sustainable Intimacy — Bad Girls Bible Newsletter —
So many people have trouble orgasming and aren’t experiencing true pleasure during sex. Today on The Bad Girls Bible, sexual and relational communication profession Dr. Tara joins us to discuss the three main blockers of orgasms and why sexual chemistry is so important! In this conversation, you’ll hear all about Tara’s conservative background, what led her to the USA, why she became a professor of relational and sexual communication, body neutrality, sexual empowerment, Tara’s podcast, textbook, and the TV show she is in, and so much more! We delve into the three main reasons women struggle to orgasm before Tara shares her thoughts on the success of relationships with no sex or chemistry and how she helps her clients solve these issues. From attraction, to boundaries, to saying no, to the best positions for clitoral stimulation, to the use of vibrators, this episode has it all! We even discuss how same-sex schools affect sexuality in adulthood. Finally, our guest tells us all about what praise kink is. Thanks for tuning in! Key Points From This Episode: •    An introduction to today’s guest, Dr. Tara. •    Tara’s background and how she became a professor of relational and sexual communication. •    Why Tara loves the concept of body neutrality instead of body positivity. •    How sexual empowerment can solve the issue of women faking orgasms and hiding it. •    Tara tells us about her textbook and podcast and how she ended up on Celebs Go Dating. •    The three main reasons women struggle to orgasm: physical, psychological, and relational. •    Why Tara believes you cannot have a successful, happy, long-term relationship without sex. •    How scent contributes to sexual chemistry and why it doesn’t ever lie to us. •    Tara’s advice for what to do when in a sexless relationship with no chemistry. •    The different categories of attraction and how it can be developed. •    Why breaching boundaries is so detrimental in a relationship. •    The importance of chemistry and why it cannot be built from nothing. •    Tara speaks about the differences between spontaneous and responsive desire. •    Why saying no is so liberating. •    The best, easiest positions for clitoral stimulation. •    Why men are generally so insecure about using vibrators and sex toys. •    What praise kink is and how a couple can explore it. Quotes: “The solution to the inability to orgasm or even to embrace pleasure overall is sexual empowerment.” [0:07:57] “So many different physical issues contribute to the inability to orgasm.” [0:14:43] “Every single person is entitled to what is right for them. If you're in a relationship that you don't have any sexual chemistry with your partner, it's your prerogative to decide if you want to do.” [0:23:25] “A breach of boundaries is a killer of trust.” [0:29:09] “For me, the most important thing that I learned in my previous relationship that you can never get unless it was there is chemistry.” [0:33:29] “There is no good sex life – without communicating, without feeling confident, without feeling comfortable in your skin.” [0:42:04] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Luvbites by Dr. Tara — Dr. Tara Email Address — Dr. Tara on LinkedIn — Dr. Tara on Instagram — Dr. Tara on TikTok — Dr. Tara on X — Sexual Communication: Research in Action — Celebs Go Dating — Bad Girls Bible Newsletter —
So many relationships struggle with sexlessness and many couples aren’t aware of the fact that they can get help and save their relationships! Today on The Bad Girl’s Bible, sex therapist and podcast host, Dr. Nazanin Moali joins us to discuss causes and solutions for sexless relationships. In this episode, you’ll hear all about Dr. Moali’s fascinating background, what made her want to be a sex therapist, her podcast, Sexology, her Farsi podcast, and so much more! We discuss what a sexless marriage or relationship is and what may cause it before talking about infidelity, pornography, and trauma and their effects on sexual experiences in relationships. Sometimes, one partner initiates sex more than the other and may feel rejected often and today, Dr. Moali shares some tips to reconnect in this situation. We even talk about the differences between spontaneous and responsive desire, the main psychological causes of erectile dysfunction, and some cures for chronic erectile dysfunction. To hear all this and so much more, tune in now! Key Points From This Episode: •    Welcoming today’s guest, Dr. Nazanin Moali to the show. •    Dr. Moali tells us about her background and why she became a sex therapist. •    Her Farsi show and the demand for it among the Iranian population. •    The definition of a sexless relationship and the main causes of it. •    Infidelity causing anger and sexlessness and how to validate your partner to heal from it. •    How pornography affects relationships and how to handle the effects of it. •    Unresolved trauma and its contribution to a sexless relationship. •    How to handle when one partner rejects the other for sex or initiation is one-sided. •    Dr. Moali explains what spontaneous and responsive desire is. •    The main psychological causes of erectile dysfunction in otherwise healthy men. •    Some cures for chronic erectile dysfunction. Quotes: “Many people don't know there are solutions out there. Sexual health challenges are something that you can cure, you can get treatment for it. It could be even as easy as a few sessions.”[0:07:31]  “Trauma can be an incredibly painful experience for people to have. It can really impact how our body responds to sex and sexuality. It can impact our responsiveness or lack of responsiveness.” [0:17:31] “If you're not into foreplay, you're not doing it correctly.” — [0:29:24] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:  Dr. Nazanin Moali on LinkedIn — Dr. Nazanin Moali on Instagram — Dr. Nazanin Moali Linktree — Dr. Nazanin Moali on X — Sexology Podcast — Bad Girls Bible Newsletter —
Research shows that the majority of women will experience pain during sex at some point in their lives. But just because painful sex is common, it doesn’t mean you have to accept it as normal! To talk about this, we’re joined by Nora Langknecht, a sexuality educator, reproductive health counselor, and Brand and Digital Marketing Manager for the sex toy brand FUN FACTORY. In this episode, Nora tells us about her career journey and role at FUN FACTORY, which she describes as the perfect mix of spreadsheets and dildos! Then, we delve into what could be causing pain during sex, the importance of arousal and lubrication, and tips to help you rethink sensuality, communicate better with your sexual partner, and much more. Whether you're flying solo or coupled up, this episode will help you to unlock pain-free pleasure in the bedroom. So, grab your headphones and get ready to revolutionize your sex life! Key Points From This Episode: What led Nora to become a sex educator and counselor. Common causes of pain during penetrative vaginal sex and their solutions. Reasons that lube is for everyone! When Nora recommends speaking to your doctor about painful sex. Why anal sex can be painful and ways to make it more pleasurable. How to prepare for anal sex; hygiene, communication tips, and more. A warning against numbing cream and why orgasm isn’t always the “goal.” Tips to help you rethink sensuality and experience pleasure without sex. Advice for supporting your libido, whether you’re partnered or single. The role of pornography in a partnership (and when it can be a problem). Insight into how COVID-19 affected couples’ sex lives. Suggestions for self-discovery using sex toys. A comprehensive guide to consent and how to practice it intentionally. Spontaneous versus responsive desire and why mindfulness is key. Quotes: “Slowing down, focusing on arousal, and including more lube are the main solutions for vaginal pain during sex.” — Nora Langknecht [0:04:15] “Thinking of sex as something more intricate, cyclical, and playful also helps if you're not moving unidirectionally – from [external play] to penetration to orgasm.” — Nora Langknecht [0:12:58] “There are all these different ways to be sensual together that can involve any of our five senses that aren't necessarily focused on what we would consider a sex act.” — Nora Langknecht [0:19:14] “Sometimes in partnerships, we focus on partnered pleasure more than solo play, but solo play is a fantastic way to support your own libido – It's an important part of your own sexual life, whether you're married, dating, or single.” — Nora Langknecht [0:23:37] “For some reason, we started telling this story that [asking for consent] was going to be scary or unsexy, but asking someone if you can kiss them is the sexiest, un-scariest thing you can do.” — Nora Langknecht [0:32:39] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: FUN FACTORY — FUN FACTORY on Instagram — @funfactoryusa Ohnut — Jade T. Perry — The Pleasure Chest — Lovers — Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — More tips for overcoming painful sex. Other Episodes You Might Enjoy: #31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson #34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. #29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
Cuckolding is a controversial sexual practice that is totally misunderstood but it can actually be a really great addition to the right kind of relationship!  Today on the podcast we are joined by cuckolding expert, Venus Cuckoldress to debunk cuckolding myths, hear about the realities of it, and get some tips for incorporating it into our own relationships. In this episode, you will hear all about how Venus was introduced to cuckolding, starting her cuckolding blog and podcast, the reality of cuckolding in a healthy relationship, how cucking can bring you closer to your partner, why it is a male-driven fantasy, and so much more! Venus then shares some advice and steps for anyone wanting to try cuckolding before explaining the challenges of finding a bull (third partner) and safety recommendations. We even discuss cuckqueaning, hotwifing, fantasies that don’t involve sexual intercourse, whether or not size matters, sexual denial, and the ‘vanilla’ sex life of a cuckolding couple. Finally, Venus tells us why cuckolding is a bad idea if you think it will "fix" your relationship. This episode is filled with some amazing insights into the wonders of cuckolding so be sure to tune in now!   Key Points From This Episode:   •    How Venus discovered cuckolding. •    Why she started a blog and podcast about cuckolding. •    What cuckolding is in reality for people in healthy relationships. •    Her first experience of ‘cucking’ her partner and how it deepened their connection. •    Why cuckolding is not cheating and why men may enjoy being cuckolded by their partner. •    What compersion is and how it ties into cuckolding. •    Venus shares advice for any couples wanting to try cuckolding and the steps to starting. •    The challenges of finding a third partner (a bull) for a cuckolding relationship. •    Venus gives us some safety recommendations when trying out cuckolding. •    Why creating too many rules that become hard to follow is problematic. •    Cuckolding versus cuckqueaning and what hotwifing is. •    How to fulfill your partner’s cuckolding fantasies without actually sleeping with another man. •    The impact of making a comment about size during a cuckolding experience. •    Venus tells us what her size preference is when it comes to sex. •    Sexual denial in cuckolding and how most cuckold couples have a robust sex life together. •    Why cuckolding is a recipe for disaster in a relationship already littered with problems.   Quotes:   “[Cuckolding] is not so much about just your partner watching you or listening [to] you sleeping with somebody else because that's what everybody thinks it is. It's actually really a kind of special loving relationship.” [0:05:20]   “[Cuckolding] is like art, you can sculpt it exactly the way that you want, and it does not need to look like somebody else's piece of art.” [0:11:54]   “The fun part about being the woman in a cuckolding situation is that you really do feel like you have the power and the ability to have this effect on someone that is profound.” [0:20:25]   Longer Quotes:   “If there are any new couples listening out there thinking of making this list of rules, it's okay to have them. But just keep in mind that it may not be realistic to have all of those rules. I think what's most important is that she's safe, and she's comfortable, and that she's enjoying herself. What that looks like should really be up to her.” [0:20:04]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:   Venus — Venus Linktree — The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast — Venus Connections — Venus on X — Venus on Instagram — Dr. Justin Lehmiller — Tell Me What You Want — ‘Does Size Matter?’ Bad Girls Bible Survey — Bad Girls Bible Newsletter —   Other Episodes You Might Enjoy: #31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson #34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. #29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
Casey Donatello is a married, non-monogamous author and podcast host who embraces the Hotwife lifestyle. She is passionate about supporting others on their journey to becoming more confident and unapologetic in their lives and their sexual choices. In today’s episode, she shares her process of recognizing and pursuing a relationship dynamic and sexual lifestyle that she finds most fulfilling. We also discuss how she found a partner who aligned with her vision for life and sex and how they deal with jealousy, communication, and rule-setting as they cultivate partner-sharing experiences. Casey also offers practical wisdom on entering the Hotwife lifestyle, pleasing your partner orally, and embracing all aspects of yourself through nudism, content creation, and fulfilling sexual encounters. Tune in to hear all this and more from today’s candid and sexually empowered guest!   Key Points From This Episode: •    An overview of Casey Donatello and her introduction to the Hotwife lifestyle. •    Her relationship journey leading up to her current marriage. •    Jealousy in the Hotwife lifestyle and how her dates are structured. •    Rule-setting and the feedback process. •    Tips for those looking to pursue a Hotwife lifestyle. •    Why it’s essential to share your sexual aspirations with a potential partner. •    Casey’s opinion on how to give your partner a good blow job! •    Advice for finding the confidence to talk dirty. •    Our guest weighs in on whether or not size matters. •    Advice for building confidence while riding your man. •    Why Casey doesn’t edit any of her content. •    How public nudism has supported Casey to find body confidence. •    Tips for women who are hoping to squirt. •    Casey’s complex journey into the lifestyle. •    The story behind Casey’s four books.   Quotes: “[Hotwifing] is completely different than a regular threesome. Sometimes, it’s hard for people to understand how three people isn’t always the same equation. But it really isn’t.” [0:05:50]   “It’s like putting your relationship in a pressure cooker when you invite other people into your bed.” [0:08:26]   “There’s no right or wrong to what you are interested in. It’s just that you and your partner [have to] agree on it.” [0:19:06]   “A lot of times, people don’t want to talk about sex when they’re having sex, but that’s the best time.” [0:30:53]   “If you absolutely hate something or it hurts you, speak up! Don’t let somebody hurt your body because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.” [0:31:22]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Casey Donatello — Casey Donatello on Instagram — Casey Donatello on X — In Bed Podcast — In Bed with Strangers — Scarlet Surrenders — Scarlet Swings Higher — Bad Girls Bible Newsletter —   Other Episodes You Might Enjoy: #31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson #34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. #29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
What if your past didn’t have to dictate your future? Esin Pinarli is a human behavior specialist offering psychotherapy to couples, using the Imago and Gottman methods in conjunction with emotional-focused therapy. She joins us to share her perspective on the deep-rooted beliefs behind our actions and reactions within the context of relationships. We touch on how trauma affects us all, and common actions that trigger a trauma response within relationships. Tune in to hear how the support of a therapist can help everyone to unpack the experiences behind their trauma, how the four attachment styles impact our relationships, and how the pandemic has changed the way in which we relate to one another. Esin also explains the role of our nervous system in creating connection and attachment, common reasons why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives, and much more. Key Points From This Episode: •    An introduction to Esin Pinarli’s counseling practice. •    Unpacking the buzzword, ‘trauma’, and how it affects all of us. •    Common actions that trigger a trauma response. •    The role of negativity bias. •    Advice for those seeking to address their trauma. •    How a therapist can support people as they unpack the experiences behind their trauma. •    The four attachment styles and how they impact our relationships. •    What the collective trauma of the pandemic has done to the state of attachment. •    Differentiating between introversion and the avoidant personality type. •    How codependency fits into attachment styles. •    Your nervous system’s role in creating connection and attachment. •    Why couples become dissatisfied with their sex lives. •    What effective communication might look like. •    Cultivating ‘the space between’ where intimacy exists within relationships. •    Simple solutions for the process addiction that comes from porn usage. Quotes: “People always think they have to qualify for trauma. Everybody has had a certain level of embedded trauma.” — Esin Pinarli [0:02:41]   “We should always be doing the work. There are just so many things in our subconscious that we are not aware of.” — Esin Pinarli [0:10:33]   “A therapist is somebody who will help you to make sense of what’s inside of you, and to untangle and unprocess that trauma so that it doesn’t dictate your future.” — Esin Pinarli [0:11:37]   “If you don’t have enough rupture and repair, you always end up feeling disconnected from your partner.” — Esin Pinarli [0:42:15]   “Not only do we have a dance with our romantic partners, a cadence and a rhythm, but there’s a space between us that is where the intimacy is.” — Esin Pinarli [0:43:13] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: Esin Pinarli on Instagram — Esin Pinarli on LinkedIn — Eternal Wellness Counseling — Codependent No More — Bad Girls Bible Sex Tips Newsletter — Other Episodes You Might Enjoy: #31 How To Fix A Sexless Marriage & Reignite Fiery Passion with Laurie Watson #34 The Secret To Reaching Orgasm During Sex with Laurie Mintz, Ph.D. #29 Experience Squirting Orgasms with Female Orgasm Expert, Jason Julius
Today on the podcast we welcome Caitlin and Michael Doemner, authors of Sex Every Day, who are sharing with us some hands-on tips for enjoying sexual intimacy on a daily basis, regardless of busy schedules, kids and periods.   They talk about their three-step strategy for practicing frequent intimacy, including how you can communicate your sexual desires in a fun way and what you can do to ensure that both you and your partner are always satisfied. Before you think all of this is unattainable for you as a parent of young kids, hang on a minute! They have four kids of their own and advise you on overcoming the logistics of having regular sex with a house full of small children.   Key Points From This Episode   The interesting story of how Caitlin and Michael got together. Why sleeping naked is such a natural and effective way to restore intimacy in a relationship. How the menu metaphor can be used to communicate and express sexual needs. The importance of being open to both give and receive. What you can do to maintain intimacy with your partner throughout the day. A quick review of the five love languages and what they each entail. Why it is important for couples to prioritize a woman’s pleasure. What couples with kids can practically do to preserve their intimacy and privacy. Why a period should not be stopping you from giving and receiving uninterrupted pleasure. And much more!   Tweetables   “It's really hard to be angry with somebody when you're laying full body contact naked with them and in bed.” [0:04:49]   “The intimacy and the passion, it doesn’t have to be intercourse …there's a lot of different ways that we can please our partners.” [0:19:45]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode   Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — Sex Every Day: How to Prioritize Pleasure in your Marriage — The Five Love Languages on Amazon — Pussy: A Reclamation on Amazon — Sex Every Day Website — Sex Every Day on Facebook —
On the show today we welcome Dan and Dawn Williams, master-slave couple, kink enthusiasts podcast hosts and authors of the new book Living M/S! Our guests unpack their own experiences of discovering their submissive and dominant sides and how they found each other and each other's limits.   They explain some basics about the master-slave dynamic and how it fits into the broader world of BDSM and kink play. They explain the important role of trust and the things that are pivotal in making a relationship like theirs work. We talk a bit about the events, parties and activities which they enjoy and Dan and Dawn are so open and honest, explaining the erotic nature of their lives.   The conversation also covers, shame, abusive relationships and how sharing stories, using cards and watching porn can help certain couples.   Key Points From This Episode   Dan and Dawn's awakening to their dominant and submissive sides. A little bit about how their master-salve relationship works. Earning trust and taking responsibility for mistakes.  Contrasting Dawns and Dan's average day with other relationships. Parties, dungeons and the BDSM play that the couple enjoy. The parts of play that each of them engage with. Considering the erotic and non-erotic elements of play. Some of the issues of shame related to submission.  Comparing a sub-dom relationship with an abusive relationship. The helpful act of sharing naughty stories and porn.  And much more!   Tweetables   “In our case, it happens to be a male led relationship where I happen to be in charge. What that means is that I take responsibility for everything in the relationship.” [0:03:45]   “If something needs to be addressed, it’s addressed head on instead of sideways. It’s a very authentic relationship where we’ve decided, what do we want this relationship to be.” [0:11:05]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode   Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — Erotic Awakening Podcast — Dan and Dawn Email — Living MS — The Kink Starter —
Today on the Bad Girl's Bible we a joined by a very special listener named Jaime, who is here to tell us about how her and her husband turned their marriage around after some very tough times. Early into their new marriage, Jaime's husband started to experience some pretty serious health challenges and after his diagnosis and medical prescriptions became increasingly moody and difficult to be around.   This, in conjunction with Jaime's own health and anxiety issues, led to a very difficult time, emotionally and in the bedroom. It took a few drastic changes that happened around the time of a mortal scare for her husband to take the relationship back to a healthy place and into territory that Jaime never even dreamed of. Jaime takes us through their complete history, early dates and the proposal before getting into the troubled period.   She talks about how different things are now and the difference in connection she feels when they make love. For all this and much more, be sure to join us today!   Key Points From This Episode   Jaime's childhood, parents and the atmosphere at home. The first day that her and her future husband met. Proposal, the wedding and the early days of marriage. Jaime's husband's health problems and the first diagnosis. How the medication affected her husband's moods and their relationship. Jaime's own health problems that she was experiencing at the same time. The near death experience that turned her husband's life around. Changing their sex life around and the effect of the Blowjob Bible. How the challenges have strengthened their relationship. The times that Jaime considered giving it up. How Jaime's life has turned out differently to her expectations. The role of her faith in helping her through tough times. Advice from Jaime to listeners in similar situations. And much more! Tweetables   “That’s how he is now, he brushes off all the little things and doesn’t let him bother anymore.” —  Jaime [0:15:30]   “Sometimes it does take something life altering to make you decide that it’s time to change how you live your life and the way you treat other people.” — Jaime [0:16:58]
Today on The Bad Girls Bible Podcast we are joined by small-town girl, Jenny, who shares with us about growing up in a poor family with parents who did not always get along, moving around frequently and how she and her husband first met. Jenny talks about their secret relationship, moving in together, how he convinced her to get married after all and the challenges of raising their kids together. The unexpected death of a loved one caused a massive rift in their relationship, however, and her life started slowly spiraling out of control. Not being able to openly mourn her loss, Jenny went into a major depression during which she behaved in erratic ways that threatened her life and that brought even greater discord in her marriage. She tells of the regrets she has, how she has learned to cope with her loss and what she advises every listener to hold onto in such difficult circumstances. Don’t miss out on this very moving conversation! Key Points From This Episode: More about Jenny’s experience growing up in an unhappy family. How she met her husband and their first few months knowing each other. What is was like seeing each other in secret while being in relationships with other people. Their relationship when they moved in together and having to deal with their exes. The difficulty of feeling like she had to do everything herself. The challenge of raising their kids together and having different parenting styles. Why she never thought of getting married and how he arranged the entire wedding. Losing a girlfriend to pneumonia and not being able to mourn her openly. Dealing with her husband’s resentment and jealously after her girlfriend passed away. Becoming clinically depressed, isolating herself and turning to self-harm. The intense moment she realized that she needed help.  The up and downside of moving to a new place and being lonely a lot of the time. What happened when her husband finally left her. Getting her daughter back home and what it meant to her. How practicing mindfulness and breathing techniques helps her to deal with her emotions. Dealing with the disappointment of her life not turning out how she expected it to. And much more! Tweetables: “I went into a major depression; a clinical depression, anxiety, and I was just locking myself away. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to go to work.” — Jenny [0:17:05] “He just stopped caring and he said he just started picturing me dead already and that he had thought of what he was going to say at the funeral and stuff. He just kind of wrote me off already.” — Jenny [0:18:55]
On the show today we’re talking to someone who has suffered immense emotional trauma but who has come out the other side stronger, wiser and ready to love again. Our guest really inspires those who have been through divorce, a partner’s infidelity, miscarriage or have been dealt an unfair hand, sharing openly about her two failed marriages, suffering multiple miscarriages and discovering her husband’s affair while pregnant in their first year of marriage. To add to our guest’s array of disappointments, she poignantly tells us about the letter that ended her second marriage and which left her devastated and alone. Having a partner abandon her after what she believed to have been twelve wonderful years, she had to work through the difficult circumstances all on her own, including managing the business they owned together, while he effectively disappeared for weeks. She talks about struggling with feelings of guilt and not being enough, and how therapy and support from friends and family restored her hope of finding love again. For more about how this woman conquered the many obstacles in her life, don’t miss out on this episode of the Bad Girls Bible Podcast! Key Points From This Episode: More about Susan’s background and being adopted into a wonderful family. How she met her second husband and their early days together. The age gap and her thought processes around it.  Falling pregnant a second time and having a series of miscarriages following the first. Why it is so difficult for Australian citizens to adopt. Her unfulfilling first marriage and their lack of intimacy. Her gut feeling about her second husband’s infidelity. How her partner’s infidelity consumed her and realizing that she needed to forgive. The devastating letter that ended their marriage. Being concerned for her husband’s mental state and worrying that he might end his own life.  The hardest thing about his abandonment and how it impacted her daughter. Struggling with feelings of inadequacy and feeling partly responsible for his decision to leave. Having to deal with her pain, their business and sharing the news with others by herself.  Getting to a place where she is ready to pursue love again. The importance of not being reactive is such circumstances. And much more! Tweetables: “I thought, hang on a minute, I’m pregnant, we’re in our first year of marriage and you are cheating on me? I was really devastated.” — Susan [0:15:56] “I felt like he was my soul mate, that’s why it was just so soul-destroying when he left me in the manner that he left me.” —  Susan [0:24:01] “I’m a hopeless romantic, I believe in love still, so, I’m willing to put myself out there.” —  Susan [0:31:40]
#42 Hysterical Bonding

#42 Hysterical Bonding


On today’s show we welcome Lee, who is here to tell us her personal story and how her husband cheating on her boosted her libido due to a phenomenon called hysterical bonding.  Hysterical bonding is a term which hasn't been studied extensively yet. However, it's a phenomenon that many people can relate to. It describes what happens when someone is cheated on by their partner, or is broken up with, and they want to do anything to win back their ex's affections. It sounds counter-intuitive and paradoxical, but that's because there are many different emotions at play. We’re discussing her marriage of 24 years, how she found out that her husband had been cheating on her and what led her to sticking around and wanting to rebuild the relationship. To hear more about Lee’s story, stay tuned! Key Points From This Episode: Hear more about Lee’s background. Growing up with an alcoholic, verbal abusive father. How Lee met her husband and got married 11 months into the relationship. The first signs that something wasn’t right. How Lee’s car accident and neck injury led to her being dependent on pain medication. The effect of the pain medication on Lee’s libido. Why guys who are getting fulfilled still go out looking for more. Having found the love of your life but also wanting sex or a relationship outside of that. Finding out about the other women. When the hysterical bonding kicked in. How Lee regained her libido and has been having sex 2/3 times a day since. Trying to rebuild the relationship, starting in the bedroom. Lee’s advice to listeners going through a similar situation with their partner. And so much more! Tweetables: “Our first several years of marriage were, I mean, I wouldn’t say perfect because I don’t think there’s a thing as perfect but I was very happy and I felt like he was too.” — Lee [0:09:51] “I was keeping him satisfied, the problem was, you know, I think he was not happy with the fact that he wasn’t able to satisfy me.” — Lee [0:15:37] “How can I be just totally heartbroken, devastated and at the same time want my husband?” — Lee [0:29:55]
On the show today we welcome Geanni, who is here to tell us all about her personal story and how she found out that her husband had got another woman pregnant while they were still married. This sort of situation is understandably distressing, but Geannie has a great perspective on it and offers amazing advice and insight that she has learned along the way. She gives us some of the backstory of how her and her husband got together and the marriage before explaining the period in which the infidelity came to light. She talks about her commitment to the marriage and how they actually managed to get over the issue for a period before the relationship ended. She also goes into her feelings on their relationship currently, how they share a child and the parenting process for her. For all of this and a fascinating interview from Geannie, be sure to tune in! Key Points From This Episode Some personal background on Geannie. Meeting her husband in high school and getting to know him.  The proposal and getting married soon after school. Confronting her husband about her suspicions.  Reconciling after the initial separation and the role of Geannie’s spirituality in this. Geannie’s husband’s fears of pregnancy with the other women. The decision to try and overcome this massive hurdle and the difficult first year.  Geannie’s current relationship with her husband and the family they have. Advice from Geannie to listeners in a similar situation. Geannie’s contact with her husband’s child and the mother.  And much more! Tweetables “We started dating early in 2006 and that was my senior year in high school. It was his junior year in high school. We were married in October of 2007.” — Geannie [0:03:32] “I just kept digging until I found something and so when I accused him, when I finally went to him, he denied it.” — Geannie [0:08:30] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode Bad Girls Bible —
Welcome back to another episode of The Bad Girls Bible Podcast. Today on the show, we are joined by Alaina Schwartz to talk about her marriage of 17 and a half years and her subsequent divorce. Alaina grew up on long island in New York in a family of staunch disciplinarians that was incredibly emotionally dysfunctional, emotionally violent and sometimes even physically so. After high school, Alaina moved away to New York where she went to law school, and eventually was a lawyer in the music industry for almost 18 years. Today she is a successful transformational mindset and business coach, who teaches her clients the same mindset tools that radically changed her life. In this episode we talk about everything from how her husband was incredibly romantic at first, how she started to realize something wasn’t quite right in her relationship, how she earned more than him, and also how she stayed positive since divorcing him. So for an incredibly honest, and insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode. Key Points From This Episode Alaina’s background story and her early life. The day the Alaina met her ex husband: love at second sight. Timeline and story of how Alaina’s ex husband proposed. Alaina’s fairytale wedding in Central Park. The first couple of years of their marriage. The incident that led up to their marital problems. Alaina’s heartbreak and challenges with her in-laws. The lowest point Alaina experienced in her marriage. When Alaina finally decided to move on with her life. Facing the allegations of being called an “unfit mother”. How Alaina’s life has turned out differently than what she expected. Why Alaina has no regrets from her past. Advice for listeners who are going through a divorce: mindset shift. Tweetables “I was determined to try to make it work every day I was there and every day I was rejected by him.” — @alaina_s7 [0:25:25] “There was no doubt that I thought we were going to be together forever that we would figure out a way to make that work.” — @alaina_s7 [0:26:26] “There can be multiple people that are really good for us in our lives at different times in our lives, depending on how we grow.” — @alaina_s7 [0:26:46] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode Alaina Schwartz —  Alaina on Twitter —
On today’s show we welcome Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor in the department for Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of British Columbia and the Canada Research Chair in Women’s Sexual Health.   Lori has also the author of the book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire. In this episode we are discussing sexual desire, and how a low desire or lack of interest in sex is by far the most common sexual concern, not only in women but in men as well. Many people struggle for different reasons, both psychologically and socially. Lori helps us today to uncover those struggles and those reasons and step beyond our negative beliefs to reignite our sexual desires through mindfulness. For an incredibly insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode!   Key Points From This Episode:   Hear more about Lori and how she became a sex researcher and sex therapist. Researcher’s findings on reasons why women experience low sexual desire. Why low sexual desire is often confused. Understanding how mood and depression suppresses desire. How your beliefs can impact your desire. Cognitive behavioral therapy and how it can effectively treat sexual complaints. Physical conditions people can have that may interfere with sexual function. A female Viagra solution to fix female sexual arousal disorder, how terrible can it be? Struggling to reach orgasm during sex: whether you’re lacking desire or full of it. How mindfulness can help women and man be more present and reignite desire. Lori share some stories from her book on how mindfulness can be useful. Adopting a regular mindfulness practice and engaging the muscle of the mind. And so much more!   Tweetables:   “Low desire or lack of interest in sex is by far the most common sexual concern, not only in women but in men as well.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:04:01]   “Negative beliefs in the brain can also stimulate certain brain path ways that interfere with desire and arousal.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:11:21]   “Pretty much anything that impacts hormones has the potential to impact sexual response.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:14:35]   “If you are going to have sex, you may as well show up for it.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:27:30]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:   Dr. Lori Brotto — Dr. Lori on Twitter — Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire — University of British Columbia —
On today’s show we welcome Annabelle Knight. Annabelle is a dating, sex and relationship expert along with being a certified couple’s councilor. She’s also written a novel, The Endless Autumn, which has been featured by Cosmopolitan.   Annabelle has her own range of sex toys available online and is a resident sex and love expert for online retailer, Our topic for today is sex toys. Thanks to Annabelle’s expertise on the subject she is able to share with us just how useful they can be and how they can cause breathtaking pleasure.   We’re also talking about getting your partner on board with using sex toys during sex and the different types of vibrators and sex toys available. For an incredibly insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode!   Key Points From This Episode:   Hear more about Annabelle’s background and how she started her own line of sex toys. How sex toys can improve your pleasure, whether you’re alone or with a partner. Annabelle’s favorite sex toys - the cock ring and the vibrating bullet. Advice to people wanting to buy their first sex toy. Why some guys are hesitant about using sex toys during sex. Ways to help your partner get on board with using sex toys. Why using sex toys has nothing to do with how good you are in bed. Different types of vibrators for clitoral stimulation. What to look for when buying a sex toy. Sex toys that are unisex or male specific that men can use. Learn more about prostate play and prostate massagers. Toys to use during sex that can give different sensations. Anal first-timers prep. Main types of lubricant: water based, silicon based and oil based. Using the right type of lube with your sex toys. What to do if sex toys just aren’t for you. And so much more!           Tweetables:   “Sex toys are like the cherry on the cake so you don’t need the cherry to make the cake tasty but it kind of gives you a third dimension, a little extra something.” — @missbelleknight [0:03:10]   “Sex toys provide different type of stimulation and that’s not a better type or worse type, it’s just a different type.” — @missbelleknight [0:07:50]   “The end goal for any sex toy manufacturer is pleasure and the better their toys and their products provide pleasure, the more popular they are.” — @missbelleknight [0:18:26]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:   Annabelle Knight — Annabelle on Twitter — Annabelle on Instagram — The Endless Autumn — Love Honey — Cosmopolitan — Aneros —
Joining us today is Dee Dussault, a sexuality coach, Yoga Alliance® certified yoga teacher, the creator of Ganja Yoga, and author of the book by that title. She has taught partner yoga, vanilla tantra, and cannabis-enhanced yoga to thousands of people across the US, Canada, and Europe.   She studied sexuality for over a decade and carries an honors degree in Sexuality Studies. Her training was in the tantric tradition of Swami Satyananda of Bihar, India. Dee tells us what got her into tantra and explains that the practice is about much more than sex. She highlights the spiritual value as well as the opportunities it offers to fuel the evolution of our consciousness.   She further discusses mindfulness, the importance of slowing down your sexual encounters, and why the edge of your comfort zone is where you want to be. We talk about solo orgasmic experiences, Kegel exercises and the exhilarating dynamic that marijuana can bring to your yoga routine. So tune in to find out how Dee can help you tap into your radiant embodied self!   Key Points From This Episode:   Some of Dee’s background and how she became a sexuality coach. How tantra facilitates the whole human experience. Why tantra is for everyone, at any time.    The relationship between breathing and feeling. What to do when you feel awkward at first. How yoga can lead to arousal and orgasmic experience. The benefits of redirecting genital energy. How energy orgasms can be achieved. How tantric sex helps older people and those with sexual dysfunction. The importance of balancing Kegel exercises with stretches. How cannabis enhances your yoga routine. And so much more!   Tweetables:   “The idea is in Tantra that our sexual energy is the most potent energy we have as humans.” — @TheGanjaYoga [0:04:05]   “Tantra allows the whole range of human emotions and experiences.” — @TheGanjaYoga [0:08:00]   “You don’t need a partner to do tantra.” — @TheGanjaYoga [0:08:22]    “As you slow down your breath, your capacity to feel increases.” — @TheGanjaYoga [0:09:37]   “I recommend people play at the edge of their comfort zone.” — @TheGanjaYoga [0:11:09]   “Pleasure is our birthright.” — @TheGanjaYoga [0:22:51]   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:   Yoga Alliance® — Swami Satyananda — Dee Dussault — Ganja Yoga — Ganja Yoga on Instagram — Sting — Sting on Twitter —
Today on the podcast we are joined by Danielle Harel, Ph.D and Celeste Hirschman. They are the cofounders of the Somatica Institute of Sex and Relationship Coaching. Danielle Harel received her Ph.D. and Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality from The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. She has a graduate degree in Clinical Social Work and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Educational Counseling. Celeste Hirschman received her Master’s Degree in Human Sexuality Studies from San Francisco State University and her Bachelor’s Degree in Women’s Studies at the University of California at Santa Cruz. In their teaching, Danielle and Celeste connect with unconditional love, erotic energy, and presence to help their students and clients deepen their insight on self-awareness. They’ve also coauthored the books Making Love Real and Cockfidence, and this episode they share more about the importance of vulnerability and empathy in relationships, and how to be more mindful in your sex life. We also dive into ways to work through shame and fully embrace your sexual desires and fantasies without feeling judged. For an incredibly insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode! Key Points From This Episode The story of how Danielle and Celeste met, and founded the Somatic Institute. Somatica: an experiential approach to sexuality and relationships. Importance of vulnerability for having a good sex life. Most common reasons why we often struggle to be vulnerable with our partners. How mindfulness plays a role in having better sex. Advice for couples who want to develop mindfulness. Learning to have embodied empathy when it comes to your relationship. Understanding how to process shame and embrace your sexuality. Key elements of a healthy relationship: attachment and individuation. Tweetables “The more that we can be vulnerable about our deepest desires and longings, the more that we can give each other the most hot, fulfilling sex.” — Celeste Hirschman [0:08:32] Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode Danielle Harel — Celeste Hirschman — Website — Somatica Institute of Sex and Relationship Coaching — Making Love Real — Cockfidence —
Comments (17)

Rodney Higginson

Wow, this was a very interesting episode. Man, it makes you think why do some people still get married?! Or maybe I just listening to the wrong podcasts. Nevertheless, there's no was in hell I'm staying in a sexless marriage or relationship for that matter. One year tops to work on it then I'm out. This poor woman is a trooper though, she been to hell and back and still manage to persevere. Good for her.

Feb 5th

levett store

Thanks for the information! Of course, everyone has their own rules when dating, which in one way or another will affect the further development of communication. But lately, I think I shouldn't bother with it and just enjoy life. That's why I decided to create the perfect boyfriend for myself with the help of Here I bought an incredibly realistic toy that brings me incredible pleasure and will never break my heart.

Oct 20th

yang mimi

but i like xinghaoya best-

Feb 16th

yang mimi

i know - the xinghaoya is amazing

Feb 16th

Rick Carter

I have type 1 diabetes for 35 years + and I definitely have NO issues getting aroused! I have to slam it in the door just to make him stand down 😬

Feb 4th

Naomi Bielefeldt

so i really loved and agreed with the majority of this. However it bothered me the masculine and feminine polarity comment. maybe that works for you and that's cool....but....What abt same sex marriages or non binary ppl????

Oct 17th

Samantha Meyer

Another way to eat pussy is to press your tongue firmly on her clit and roll your tongue, almost like your making your tongue do the worm. Lick upward firmly and slowly. Don't only focus on the clit, lick around the labia and tease her with quicker firm licks. Also,make sure to give her pussy little kisses then stick your tongue deep inside her. don't forget about the rest of her body, either. Grab her tits and caress her, tell her how much you love her pussy and how you could eat it all day and pull her hips towards you.

Jul 29th
Reply (1)

Samantha Meyer

is she reading off a script?? so inauthentic

Jul 29th

Jeremy Wadley

This is insane. If the guy cheated for YEARS he isn't going to change. It isn't HER responsibility to constantly change everything to keep him happy and occupied. If he wasn't/ isn't happy (and not just sexually) he will never stop looking. They weren't one night stands just to keep him sexually satisfied, he DATED the women. One for 11 months!!!!! They are both just afraid of change. They want the comfort of 25 years of history, yet at the same time they don't want it anymore but they're too afraid to let go. Also, this entire conversation is from her point of view. All she knows from his side is what he tells her. He could very well still be cheating on her but saying and doing all this to placate her.

Apr 10th

A. Beee

This guest is irritating. Awful episode and I really enjoy this podcast. I have heard her on other podcasts and she is equally annoying. Sounds like she tags straight off a script.

Mar 28th

Lara Stemmer

why isnt there any female imput. if you're talking about a female experience

Jan 7th
Reply (3)

Sonja Jensen

on podcast 4. While I'm enjoying these talks, I can't help but think how it's a bit of mansplaining. Where are the womens voices in the bad "girls" bible? It's an interesting view into men's minds, but curious who the actual intended audience is?

Dec 4th
Reply (1)