In this episode, Dr. Cam is joined by parenting coaches Kyle and Sarah Wester to explore the challenges of co-parenting and the conflicts that arise from differing parenting styles. They dive into the importance of communication, understanding, and personal accountability, offering real-world strategies for resolving conflicts and strengthening family dynamics. The Westers share personal experiences on how external voices can facilitate change and how intentional conversations can lead to a more connected and harmonious parenting approach.

 
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE

• The hidden reason parenting conflicts escalate—and how to stop it


• Why your past shapes your parenting style (without you realizing it)


• The single most powerful shift that improves co-parenting communication


• How to stop blaming each other and start working as a team


• The surprising way external perspectives can transform your parenting approach

 
5 KEY TAKEAWAYS FOR PARENTS OF TEENS

• Parenting conflicts often stem from unconscious beliefs and past experiences


• Open and honest communication is crucial to resolving disagreements


• Setting shared parenting goals creates a more unified approach


• Kids often feel responsible for their parents’ conflicts—without realizing it


• Taking personal accountability leads to positive change in family dynamics

 

 
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RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• FREE WORKBOOK: Parenting Together: artofraisinghumans.com/together 

 
EPISODE CHAPTERS

• 00:00 Navigating Parenting Conflicts


• 04:37 Understanding Parenting Styles and Backgrounds


• 10:44 The Importance of Openness in Communication


• 16:02 The Role of External Voices in Parenting


• 18:43 Setting Goals for Parenting


• 23:20 Taking Accountability in Parenting


• 24:50 The Role of Encouragement in Parenting


• 27:00 Understanding Parental Roles and Expectations


• 29:40 Modeling Behavior: The Impact on Children


• 31:12 Navigating Conflicts and Differences in Parenting


• 33:41 The Importance of Open Communication


• 35:20 Taking Responsibility for Parenting Styles


• 36:38 Empowering Parents to Change


• 39:20 Overcoming Blame in Parenting


• 41:25 The Power of Personal Accountability


• 43:28 Embracing Change and Growth in Parenting

 

CONNECT WITH THE GUESTS: The Westers

• Website: Artofraisinghumans.com


• Facebook: @artofraisinghumans


• Instagram: @artofraisinghumans


• YouTube: @artofraisinghumans

 

CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: Dr. Cam Caswell

• Website: AskDrCam.com


• Instagram: @DrCamCaswell


• YouTube: Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam


• Facebook: @DrCamCaswell


• TikTok: @the.teen.translator

 

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Cam (00:01 )

Hey, welcome back, parents. I'm looking forward to today's conversation because we're tackling a common challenge—getting on the same page as your spouse or co-parent. I talk to so many couples who have completely different approaches to discipline and communication, which, as you can imagine, creates resentment, frustration, and conflict—not just between the parents, but for their kids too.

Today, I'm excited to introduce my guests, Kyle and Sarah Wester. They are licensed professional counselors, parenting coaches, and the founders of Art of Raising Humans, a podcast dedicated to parenting. They also have three preteens and teens, so they don’t just teach it—they live it. Welcome, Kyle and Sarah!

Kyle and Sarah Wester (00:52 )

Thank you so much for having us!

Dr. Cam (00:59 )

We love your dynamic. Tell us a little about how you got started with your podcast and The Art of Raising Humans.

Kyle and Sarah Wester (01:07 )

Well, it really started with Sarah. She has an incredible way of helping kids and parents, and I was the one working with families daily in private practice here in Tulsa, Oklahoma. When I’d hit a wall with a parent, I’d come home, ask Sarah for advice, and she’d offer these brilliant insights. I’d take her suggestions back to my clients, and they’d say, "That was amazing! How did you come up with that?"

Eventually, I started getting invited to speak at churches, schools, and events. I wanted Sarah to be part of it, but every time we tried speaking together, it was tricky—we kept stepping on each other’s words. That’s when I had the idea to start a podcast. We decided to record in our master closet, thinking, "Why not? Let's figure this out."

Sarah Wester (02:03 )

It was a challenge at first because Kyle is so much more extroverted than I am, but we both have years of experience working with families in different ways. Our goal was to share our knowledge and support families in building stronger, more connected relationships.

We also noticed that parenting conflicts were damaging relationships between couples. Parents were approaching situations differently, which makes sense because they’re different people. But instead of seeing these differences as opportunities to grow, they became sources of tension. We even struggled with this in our own parenting—questioning each other’s choices and feeling frustrated.

Dr. Cam (03:08 )

Wait, you don’t have it all figured out perfectly?

Kyle and Sarah Wester (03:24 )

Not at all! And it’s tough for kids too. No child wants their parents fighting over them. But so often, kids in therapy feel like they’re the problem because their parents are constantly arguing about how to handle them.

Dr. Cam (04:13 )

I see that all the time—kids feeling responsible for their parents' conflicts. Opposites may attract, but when parents have opposite approaches to parenting, it doesn’t go well for anyone. I often feel like I’m doing marriage counseling rather than parent coaching!

Kyle and Sarah Wester (04:19 )

Exactly. Every parent brings their own personality, upbringing, and automatic parenting habits into the mix—many of which are deeply ingrained from childhood. Often, parents don’t even realize how much of their parenting is on autopilot until conflict arises.

This can create confusion for kids. They learn which parent will say yes and which will say no, which can lead to frustration and inconsistency. The household tension builds, and by the time kids are teens, patterns are already set.

Teenagers are smart—they learn the "dance." They know how each parent will react and adjust accordingly. Parents often feel manipulated, but really, their kids are just figuring out the system. If they know Mom is more lenient about certain things, they go to her instead of Dad. It’s not manipulation—it’s intelligence.

The challenge is that parents don’t always recognize these patterns until they’re deeply ingrained. The key is learning how to work together as a team, rather than feeling like you’re on opposing sides.

Dr. Cam (05:45 )

Absolutely. So what are the most common parenting conflicts you see when it comes to raising teens together?

Kyle And Sara Wester (05:59 )

Man, I wish I could have addressed this 10 years ago, but now we're dealing with it. The dance steps are so established among the couple and the family that it's hard to learn new ones. I don't think it's impossible, but one of the biggest challenges is that their brains have literally been wired to perceive the other person in the marriage or the child in a certain way.

It's like those dance steps are just on autopilot. As soon as the conflict starts, it's like the music happens, and we immediately fall into those steps.

Dr. Cam (06:30 )

Yeah, and then complain about it. "They always do this!"

What I find is that each parent is determined to convince the other that they're right, rather than figuring out: What do I do that works well? What do you do that works well? And—most importantly—what works best with our teenager? Because that matters more than our parenting styles.

We're coming in with different backgrounds and beliefs, fighting over this, fighting with our teens. We assume they're manipulating us because they're smart. But they can't manipulate us if we don't let them, FYI.

So what's the first step? What do we do? Like, I'm right. How do I convince him that he needs to change?

Kyle And Sara Wester (07:16 )

The first step is openness. If one of you is completely unbending, you've already hit a wall.

Kyle uses this analogy a lot: open hand vs. closed hand. If I come in with a closed fist—believing there's no chance the other person is bringing value, that they're completely wrong, that my teenager is the one who needs to change—that's only going to lead to conflict.

You have to come in with an open hand. What are they bringing to the table? What do I need to hear? What do I need to understand?

I love this example because Sarah is not a yeller. But I definitely