Everyone has the desire to be desired, finally, in this episode, the mystery of desire is stripped back.

Dr Karen Gurney is a Clinical Psychologist, Psychosexologist and Couples Therapist, she has been helping couples tackle sex problems for over 20 years. She is the author of the bestselling book, ‘Mind The Gap: The truth about desire and how to future proof your sex life’.

In this conversation Karen and Steven discuss topics, such as the reasons for a dead sex life, why women prefer non-penetrative sex, how technology is killing your sex life, and why you should invest in your sexual currency.

Topics:

0:00 Intro

02:07 What Do You Do and Why Do You Do It?

03:56 Our Attention Is Being Hijacked Which Is Affecting Our Sex Lives

09:57 Why Does Sex Get Harder the More We Think About It

11:50 Why Expectations and Pressure Make Sex Worse

15:56 Our Society Has Created a "Sexual Script" That's Wrong

17:10 How to Talk About Sex with Your Partner

23:09 How to Tell Your Partner You're Not Attracted to Them Anymore

25:56 How to Not Let Kids Ruin Your Sex Life

27:25 The Demographic That Comes to You More Than Any Other

28:16 Why Desire Goes in a Relationship

34:13 How to Trigger Desire in Your Relationship

38:34 The "Initiation" Problem

40:21 Should We Schedule Sex?

43:05 What Should We Be Doing to Keep Desire High in Our Relationships

45:55 How to Talk About Your Fetish with Your Partner

50:54 What Women Really Want During Sex

52:45 Does It Matter Who Initiates Sex?

56:04 If Our Idea of What We Want From Sex Isn't Happening What Should We Do?

58:31 If Men Can't Get It Up, What Should We Do?

01:00:56 If Men Can't Get It Up, What Should We Do?

01:01:15 Should We Have Sex Before or After We Eat?

01:02:22 The Optimal Amount of Times to Have Sex

01:04:16 Sexual Dissatisfaction Between Men and Women

01:07:54 How to Deal with a Sex Life as a Parent

01:11:54 What You Can Do as a Parent to Ensure Your Sex Life Doesn't Go Off Track

01:13:26 The Relationship Between Poor Sleep and Sex

01:16:39 At What Point Should People Reach Out to You?

01:17:21 Have You Ever Seen Relationships That Are Unrecoverable?

01:18:45 The Top 3 Most Common Sexual Problems

01:20:46 The Impact of Pets on Our Sex Lives

01:22:43 Are You Hopeful for the Future of Sex?

01:24:04 How Menopause Affects Our Sex Lives

01:25:21 Our Bodies Changing Over Time and How That Impacts Our Sex Lives

01:26:27 Are We Meant to Be Monogamous?

01:31:51 The Last Guest’s Question

You can pre-order Karen’s book, ‘How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life’, here: https://amzn.to/49VnduP

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